Have You Ever Combed...?

in #life6 years ago

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Have you tried combing her hindquarters?

The nurse in the veterinary practice asked me with a frown.

Ummm...

I looked at her with a confused air as if she had asked me to play billiards, Spanish style.

She nodded keenly at me then jerked her head at my cat, Shady who was sitting on my lap calmly as is she wasn't normally a hissing ball of rage and claws.

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I looked at her and then the cat in bewilderment.

Um, she has all this matted stuff on her fur around her tail?

I ventured, thinking that perhaps this lady of the green uniform and whiff of Eau de Chat might have misunderstood the reason for my visit.

Yes, I get that.

She took Shady from me and stood her on the examining table.

Shady was remarkably docile. I watched her carefully, in these kinds of situations she was liable to turn into a furry T-Rex of horror and somehow it was often me that got savaged the worst.

Maybe she still harboured a grudge about that time I dressed her up as a St Trinians Schoolgirl and posted her photo on Twitter?

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Do you have a comb?

The Vet Nurse asked whilst fingering my pussy on the table.
SORRY! couldn't resist!

I eyed nursey-nurse as if she was an old vinegary smelling loaf.

A comb? Of course, I have a comb, look at my lustrous mane of hair?

I ran a hand through my thick and luscious locks.

Not a comb for you. A comb for your cat...? A cat comb?

She said still prodding and poking my cat, now mostly around the chuff.

Like this?

The lion whispering nurse produced a metal toothed comb and began to vigorously comb my delightful little cat's bottom bush.

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The matted bits of fur after an initial struggle began to give way under her stern assault.

I do. I do have such a comb somewhere, I believe.

I nodded slowly.

Well. Have you tried combing her hindquarters?

The nurse asked again, still fiddling with my cat's filthy old exhaust.

I looked blank and shrugged whimsically.

The nurse put her comb down and took a deep breath before sighing it out patiently.

Ok. I will put it another way. Have you tried combing your cat's arse?

She said through ever so slightly gritted teeth.

What?! Eeewww?! Why the fuck would I do that? I love my little cat?!

I flinched back in disgust at the foul mouthery of the nurse.

Nursey McBigbaws shook her head sadly.

Never mind. That's her done. You can pay at the front desk.

She handed me my floppy, docile but very well-combed, cat.

Minutes later I was outside bundling my little angel cat into the boot of the car when my phone rang. It was the Good Lady.

So, Daddy-Bear, did they fix Shady?

She asked hopefully.

Heck, yeah, baby girl. She did suggest we comb her arse though?

The Good Lady made a humphy mouth breathing noise of disgust.

Eeww, the filthy boot.

She muttered in disapproval.

I slammed the car-boot closed on a perfectly arse-combed cat.

Exactly lass, exactly.

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I guess that is the reason many people shave their pussy's arses hahahaaha Never had long haired cats but I guess combing them is quite important.

Mine is a short hair,I am baffled as to the matting of the hair. I've never really had to from any of my cats religiously. I have given them the odd comb when they are molting like mad but it's bizarre!

Shame it can be because of stress or infection in the mouth that he is not grooming himself properly/ Hope he is okay.

So do I. Everything seemed to check out so hopefully it was nothing!

And that ladies and gentlemen, is living proof that our cheeky @meesterboom is in fine form. Let it never be said that any fresh pussy ever got away from him!

They never get Sarah, not at least without a damned good combing... Administered by sometime else :0D

Hindquarters?!?
Having only just become an Orca I guess didn't think of asking Miss McBigbaws to also check that middle "Frontleg" of yours?

As soon as it gets a little bit matted then I shall take it in for a right good inspection!! Hopefully she doesn't use that same comb though!

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Are you combing that tash with a metal comb as well?

My Emperor Ming refuses to be combed!

I had a similar visit with a vet where I was asked if I felt comfortable expressing my dogs glands.

All I needed was a pair of gloves, some tissues and some lubricant.

Expressing Glands

No no no no no!!! I presume you said no!? For the love of sweet jeebus, noooooo!!

One of my cats had blocked ones once and the smell when they expressed was out of this world!

Of course I said no. No gloves! Why would I need gloves. Manly men don't wear gloves.


You should see the look my puppers give me now....

But, noone in my family will shake my hand any more. It's a win - win.

Oh. My!! That made me laugh so hard!!

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HAhahahhahahah, oh that made me laugh. YEah, sod the gloves. It's like when I helped one of my cats give birth. No need for gloves, man stuff.

Although picking my nose isnt so much fun anymore...

@meesterboom hello dear friend, you are not the only one, I have never combed my cat and much less in that place What happened?
I wish you a wonderful night and a happy rest

I am not sure. She either got something on her or is getting to old to groom! It's very peculiar!

I have to admit that mine groomed themselves or they walked around with a tangled backside. Who in God's name use the word backside to describe a cat's back end?

Santa said he'd leave you a metal comb in your stocking this year. And your use of words is very inventive.

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Then I curse Santa!!! :0D

I hope it doesn't build up again. I will be having serious words with her!!

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Combing the pussy's arse... never heard or seen that medical procedure before.

Next cat you get needs to be one of those cat alien hybrids without hair that people call sphinx, at least those don't have any hair to comb.

I like those cats, would love one actually. Although it would take a bit of getting used to!

I wouldn't recommend one tbh, I think they have lots of skin problems ☹️ and if he doesn't like you he would call his alien brethren and you would get kidnapped for some backside probing

I guess that is the reason many people shave their pussy's arses hahahaaha

Imagine that was your job!! What a thing, look!!

Maybe you better clip that are short if you don’t wanna comb it 🤣

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The idea of approaching that ripper clawed best worth a pair of clippers fills me with absolute terror!!

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I guess I was a terrible cat owner, I never combed that either. Hey what's Spanish style billiards?

I suspect it is something very very dirty indeed!

ha! oh, something so dirty that you don't want to explain it!