Heisenberg's Cat

in #lifelast year

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I can't wait till we go up North tomorrow. It will be so good.

The Good Lady clucked contentedly from her seat on the couch.

It will be bloody awesome, lady wife. I can't wait either.

I raised my glass and clinked it off hers as we toasted the idea of sticking one up The Man's shitpipe and doing what we damn well pleased for a couple of weeks. Which was mostly drinking on a beach in between looking after the children.

Oh you know what, let's check the weather. Hopefully, we will get some sun!!

The Good Lady picked up her phone and unlocked the screen.

NOOOOO!!

I leapt to my feet like a Hells Angel spying a discarded almond Croissant in a bin.

What the flying fuck?!

The Good Lady squawked with indignation as I batted her phone from her hand as if it were another man's penis.

DONT LOOK AT THE WEATHER!

My voice warbled in panic and I kept my hand outstretched at her like that mad bint in Stranger Things who makes things fly about whilst wearing bad jumpsuits.

Why the hell did you knock my phone out of my hand?!

She was not amused, her mouth scrunched up cutely like a gerbil's rectum.

You can't check the bloody weather. Not in Scotland?! Not just before you go on holiday?!

I shook my head emphatically from side to side like Jordan Peterson blowing raspberries on his secret transvestite lover's belly.

Why the hell can't we check the weather?! We always check the weather before we go away?

The Good Lady once more stretched out her hand toward her phone. I contemplated diving onto it as if it were a live grenade and I was twice the man I thought I was.

You cannot check the weather before a Scottish holiday. If you do it will rain the entire time. You cannot mess with such things. If we do not check the weather then the chances are we might cop some sun but that won't happen if you do check the weather. You will lock in the rain and the holiday will be shite. It's like quantum mechanics or something. You know, Heisenberg's Cat.

I waggled a finger at her in a no no no fashion.

Heisenberg? You mean Schrodinger? Schrodinger's cat?

She let out a snigger and then quickly hid it.

Yes yes, fucking Schrodinger. Heisenberg is the one that made all the Crystal Meth.

We both nodded at that.

Fuck it. I am checking the weather. We can't go blind. It is the middle of summer. I mean, it is Scotland but it's Summer. It can't possibly rain the whole time.

This time she made it to her phone and flicked it open. She looked at me, then the screen.

For the love of God woman, don't do it!?!

I wailed but it was no use. She tapped the screen and then looked at it in horror.

Oh my God. It's raining every single day?! But how? It's bloody summer!?

She turned her phone at me disbelievingly.

I shook my head sadly.

I told you so.

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It totally is, you can see do it all around!

Haha... You could have listened to the Good Lady this time around. Now, you've seen it, and no way! It rains everyday. Where is summer at?

I think summer is over by the looks of it here. The perils of living in the north!

Wawu... That's huge. Hehe, you will get over it soon or not.

Generally, I feel like we cannot predict any weather. We may be thinking that the rain will fall when we see the clouds in the sky. Whereas, it won't fall
Crazy weather...lol

It's nice when things are unpredictable. Gives life that bit of extra jazz!!

These days one can't predict the weather, even with weather forecast and all, I think the climate change is really hitting hard, I hope you guys find a way around it though

I hope so too!! Will be living under an umbrella for the next two weeks!! 🤣🤣

Have a great holiday with the family! And may Freyr and Thor bless you with good weather anyway! ☀️🍀

Cheers man!! They were blessing he right now with mini floods and torrential monsoon driving rain. I swear I gave never driven in switch conditions before. It's madness!! But I'm still happy as in on holiday 😀😀

But I'm still happy as in on holiday 😀😀

That's the most important thing!

Seems like you had quite the challenge there man! Hope you're all safe and sound.

Maybe the weather is going to improve. Have a great time no matter what!

Cheers!

Unbelievably the sun broke out in the evening so we managed to get to the beach and everything. Hurrah!!! Cheers mate!

My dear Sir, is that climate change has the planet upside down, it's getting awfully hot here, and the sun is very strong, with very warm temperatures day and night with a greenhouse effect. It feels just like when you're sweating a fever, hit from all sides.

I send you in this greeting my weather so that you can enjoy next to your beloved wife a few days of sun, sea, and sand on these well-deserved holidays.

I will gladly take a little of your weather!! It is climate change. It's totally obvious to see, I am amazed people still believe it's all some big con!

The people who are controlling the world, the elite, are changing everything, and no one believes that. Even when we have different hemispheres, climates, and time use, we are all sheltered by the same sky... God is present in each one of us.

My best wish to you and family😎🌞🤗❤️

The Good Lady squawked with indignation as I batted her phone from her hand as if it were another man's penis.

I laughed.

Happy holiday. Fingers crossed for coastal sunbreaks.

I've got all my things crossed in the hope for a glimpse of sun!! Cheers milady!! 😀

Don't forget to cross your eyes!

That emoji looks disturbingly like your profile picture, minus the mane and glasses.

Hehe, it does a bit. That lion profile pic was one of my earlier photoshops of scripting my face into things. Blummin love it!

Over here we don’t check the weather at all, weather forecasters just waste their time. If it rains heavily when you’re out you’ll just have to deal with it

Yup that's like Scotland! Except here it rains almost all the time!

I feel it is important to check the weather so as to be prepared at anytime. You wouldn’t want to be caught up in the rain without an umbrella😭😭
I ask my self why would it rain everyday during summer 🤦🏽‍♀️

It's pretty harsh for summer. We had such a nice sunny start last month too 🫥

That’s great then ☺️

Are we there yet? So late to the party!! I hope you got there and the weather was disappointing sunny! Hwhw... No wellies were needed, I can hope!

You are off work, with the Good Woman plus the kids!

Bad weather can destroy some parts of the trip, but it will never stop you from having a great time!

Have some fun for me~! I am stuck here!

I will be having all the fun for you!! We have lucked out. There has been some wild rain but I'm between the sun has peeked out often enough for it to be good!

Still need the wellies right enough 😀

How fun! You rule! It's only water as long as it's not flooding and there is no work.

Bonus~

No need to check weather here. It has become sunny and hot like hell since July.

I know that can be grim but I wish we had a bit of sun and warmth this July. Since the start of the month it has become cold and bitter!

Strange, I wouldn't like to live there :)

I don't blame you!

Never check the weather..

Only madness lies that way!

Try this instead..

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Haha, those signs are everywhere here 🤣🤣

For 21 days up to our holiday in Spain my other half was checking the weather. Thunder storms. Thunder storm, we are screwed , two young kids we are screwed and it stayed that way until we flew. Wife miserable about it. Got there , sun splitting the rocks all week. what was everyone all bloody worried about Women are just mental.

That's what happens every time we go on holiday! Especially the foreign ones. Oh no, it looks like storms is what she says all the time and it's the same, it's sunny as feck!!

It's actually turned out not bad up north. I am amazed!

Oh man I nearly choked on the Jordan Peterson comment lol

The damn weather, you never check the weather or else you’ll end up like Milgram’s cat! (Stanford prison shock experiment, zapped!) doesn’t the lass know?!

Someone I work with is taking a cruise up yonder in early august, I didn’t want to be a Debbie downer but I was about to say hope it doesn’t rain on ya!

No wonder the Brit’s and northern isle folk fought so many wars in foreign lands to get away from the rain and clouds. It’s a wonder they had so many offspring, but I guess if it rains all day just bang all the time!

I think that is precisely the reason they forgot those Wats and tried to colonize here there and everywhere. It was to get away from the awful weather!!

I learned long ago never to check the damn weather and just take what comes!

The weather's been strange everywhere this summer! Major North American cities are getting pummeled by tornadoes (Chicago, Montreal) which is odd because thermal updraft typically shields them from funnel clouds. I hope you see some sun while you're up there! We're worried about rain during our trip to Ireland in September too. We're landing on the Emerald Isle fully prepared for almost anything. : )

Hehe, Ireland gets pretty much the same as Scotland but September can be ok. I hope it is and you love it

Scotland the brave!!! ... and the wet.

The oh so very wet!!!

I will get my revenge on the weather! 😀😀

Hahaha so true. Although, there is an antidote to that. Pack an umbrella, and then the rain will cease!!!!!

I have two!! And waterproofs and midgie repellent. I am all set 😀

Welly boots?

Them big rubber boots that are waterproof. We call them Wellington boots.. No idea why. What do you call them? Do you even need them there?

Talking about the cat: I am house sitting friends' place and the cat escaped twice, today, including tonight, an hour ago. I am no fan of these beasts. It also didn't help much that it started vomiting twice after returning from this afternoon's escape.

Hope the weather on your holiday is better than predicted. It sure can't be worse...

Oh man, that is classic cat behaviour!! They love messing about the people who cat sit. That one sounds particularly evil!!

Yup. Luckily everything is potential horseshitting housesitting content

Lol. I love the things but if you didn't them looking after them would be a nightmare!

Oh nooo! You have to have sun on your holiday, will send you some from Florida as we're having way too much lol. Have to be honest, I haven't a clue what Schrodinger, Heisenberg or even Wisenheimer even is, so...no comment from me on that.

Regardless of the weather you will have a great time.

We will have a great time! Weather be damned!! It looks quite fucking horrifying though!!

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I hope some Florida weather makes it over!!

Damn, that does look ugly. Things change rapidly here, to the point that the weathermen sometimes look the fool. Hope yours changes, too and am sending good thoughts for an amended forecast

I might bring a weatherman. They control the weather right?

Scottish weather is reliably unpredictable. Prepare for the worst and perhaps be pleasantly surprised.

I'm uncertain about Heisenberg's cat (Physics joke).

I get your uncertainty lol!!!

You are right about Scottish weather. It looks grim but I'm pretending it will be ok and maybe just maybe it will!

How horrible!!

At least if you don't look, there would always be hope that something good could happen, whether it does or not.

So sorry about your rainy every day upcoming vacation.

You tried !

That's my thoughts, if you don't look it can't happen!!

I am sure it will work out alright, it's a fortnight off work after all. You can't sneeze at that!!

Just landed in Gran Canaria and typing this in the coach heading to the hotel. It’s shit weather here too, about 11c and hail stoning 😃😃

It totally isn't!! Aw man, I am really so jealous of your right now!! It will be flipflops and taps aff for you tomorrow!! I will be wearing wellies and galoshes whatever they are 🤣🤣