The truth remains that we can't see anybody's heart so we pass judgements based on what we hear, see or perceive. The human heart is so deep that sometimes, you don't even know all that's in your heart. And if you don't know all that's in your own heart, then you should not be too fast to judge others.
We live in a world where nobody cares about facts anymore. We read things on social media, newspapers, listen to radio stations or watch televisions, then conclude on a matter without knowing the truth beyond what we were told.
People are hated just because someone else said something bad about them. Couples break up because they perceived their partner was cheating on them (even when they have not confirmed their suspicion).
Why are we so much in haste to pass conclusions? Are people's words and actions all we need to evaluate them? Could there be more to what we know or assume?
We forget that most media houses are outlets for propaganda and brainwashing. We also forget that everything anybody says is based on his perception, personal gains or motives. Most of what we know as facts are farther from the truth than we can ever imagine.
Times without number, I have seen people misjudge my actions, inaction and words. Sometimes when I fail to reply a text, I'm called a snub. Some say I'm full of pride. Sometimes, when I talk, my choice of words might betray my true intentions. But how else can you know what's in my heart if not through my words and actions? Time, give me more time. Don't be quick to conclude. Life is not all about what you hear or see.
My actions or in-actions could be as a result of personal battles I'm facing which you know nothing about. With time, I could get over it, or perhaps, you'll understand why I acted the way I did.
Why we need to be free from sentimental judgements and prejudice
Whenever you have a biased mind over anything, your heart will constantly look for evidence to support its stance. Also, a biased mind creates a mental picture that everything must fit into irrespective of what is true. Sadly, when people perceive that no matter what they do, you'll still pass a negative judgment on them, they become antagonistic against you which will further confirm your assertion of who they are.
Some notorious people are those who would have been the nicest if only they were properly treated with love and endurance.
The nicest people in the world are not those who sweet talk you into believing they are nice. Their actions are crude sometimes and may not be a true reflection of their innermost being. They may have the wrong choice of words. From a far, you can never tell who they really are. They are often misjudged. At some point, they become frustrated because other people don't understand them and they begin to live a life of isolation which further complicate issues for those around them.
Most of those who are refined in their attitudes of being nice are doing it for personal reasons. It happens even here on steemit. Some are only nice to whales and dolphins.... Some extend it to minnows because they hope minnows will grow some day and become valuable to them.
The people I value most are those who treat you right even when they know you can never return the favour. They offer help to strangers they may never see again. They work behind the scenes for the good of others without much publicity..... They do what they do not because they expect a payback today or tomorrow, but because they desire to do good.
Conclusion
I'll conclude with the story of Emeka and Chima.
Chima and Emeka were very close friends until they had a quarrel. For two days, they didn't communicate with each other. The third day, Emeka became uncomfortable with the malice and he sought for a means to make up with his friend.
On that fateful day, he was standing outside when Chima came back from work, as he walked towards the door, Emeka picked an object and threw it at him, unfortunately for him, the object landed on Chima's eye and caused a terrible accident. That act has kept them apart until date. Emeka begged to be heard, but no one gave him a listening ear. Chima now sees him as someone who could hurt him. Everyone judged him to be a wicked person that wanted to make his friend blind only because they had a quarrel. Emeka never meant to hurt his friend, all he wanted to do was to playfully break the silence between them, but everything turned out bad and no one believes his true intentions.
Many a time, the things we see were not intended the way we see them.
Be slow to judge even when you have enough evidence to pass judgements.
This world would have been a better place if we learn to love more, forgive more and judge less.
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Very true @ogoowinner
But it's not really easy. I used to keep dreadlocks because I love long hairs. But that really restricted me from going to different places. Some won't even want to hear what I want to say. Friends closed to be started confessing how they actually thought I was a bad guy and how they secretly called me names, so I Kukuma cut it because it's best to avoid too much talks from people especially when you are not a public figure .
Well in the case of Emeka, its quite unfortunate that in the process of apologizing, an incident occurred. Even me will believe that he purposely did that. I wish he thought of that before he made such actions
Conclusion
We all have to be careful in anything we do, always think of the positive and negative outcome before we make such actions. I know we cant really tell what will happen next. But it better we predict and take caution.
This is my on point of view. Thanks for sharing Your sincere Minnow
@michaelcj
Thank you for reading @micheal. However, I don't believe that I have to live my life to please others or live by their standards.
I Understand and support your belief. But I feel sometimes we just have to dance to people's tune for peace to rain.
Like a graduate going back to school to study what he feel it's best for him.
TIME WILL ONLY TELL WHO YOU REALLY ARE OR WHAT YOU WANT
My point of view though
@michaelcj
Here you hit it on the head. Judgement is only left for God, not humans.. We may think that we are right at the moment, suddenly if wind blow, the cock anus can be seen. Lets be of fare and always exercise our conscience. Thanks @ogoowinner you have really touch my heart. Though am new following you. Wish to exercise that friendship hand with you dear
Reflecting many of my own thoughts and feelings on the subject. Great story. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading.
The truth is everyone has personal demons. But we should try not to allow them get into the relationships we keep with people.
Because, not everyone is patient enough to understand. That being said; drawing conclusion is the bane of humans.
We have to cure this really. Well done dear. Keep steeming.
I really think that before people jump into conclusion about others, they should try to get a little close to them and know them properly.Some people are going through so much than they can explain and the least we can do is try not to judge them.
For ma, i was hated simply because they transfered the hatred from my parents to me
It does happen. Sorry about your bad experiences.
It actually made me the man i am today, totally independent thank you though, im Josediccus.
True talk Ogo,
Such a nice post...had to read it twice to fell ok ....the mgs is striaght to my soul....especially the last part (This world would have been a long place if we learn to love more, forgive more and judge less. )
People fail to understand that no human is crafted to perfection, will all posses cynicism.
But humans seems to fast at casting stones
Great post you have here @ogoowinner
My Judgement on you is, I sentence you to two hours of Bear Hugging by me
Someone is back full Gears!
We all need to take responsibility for how we treat each other knowing that we are in turn adding to our own personal growth or stagnation and the benefit or detriment of humanity. Thanks for sharing @ogoowinner
Hello @ogoowinner
If this is the goal of being nice within Steemit circle, then it is a good 'niceness'. Good write up
@eurogee
we should never make a judgement on a single look as we might not see what others have gone through
Hi @ogoowinner
I love this
It is possible to be good at all time even to people that don't deserve it,we do this not because of them but because of ourselves in order to keep our own conscience clean and enjoy what we love doing. Though it required determination to do this. It also take several patience and understanding about life and human being in order not to judge fellow human being without care about the reason behind their actions or reaction.
I think more understanding about life and human being will save that.
I look forward to reading more from you. Thanks.
@maintain4real-eu
Hi@ogoowinner, this caught my attention most I visit your blog.
The act of judging people wrongly based on personal feeling, a one-time encounter etc is what I termed as passive stereotype.
We're often misquoted, misconstrued, and misunderstood hence we're tagged what wrongly.
Most people do not understand human behavior. I wish everybody do... But hell no.
Quickly something came to my head, about 15 years back, I was in college. There was this our neighbor,was never in good term with my Mother. Theirs was more of an African cat and relationship dog. My mother would warned us never to go near her or accept anything as a gift from her... Meanwhile I have only witnessed them fought once and as a teenager I could figured out my Mother did made her fought.
I was returning from school one day, I had exhausted the 20naira my Mum gave me, and I had no fare to take me back home other than to use my leggediz Benz...
Just by the school gate I met the woman with her son, waiting for next public Bus...
To my surprise, she asked me to join her...though I've not always support my Mum but my siblings would not have her say hi before they take to their heel.
I did as she offered. Paid my fare. And as we approach our home, she whispered to me never to let me Mum aware of it as she wouldn't want her trouble...
My emphasis here is, I never took her for the impression my Mum had about her. She had helped me severally.
Everyone has got their feelings.
It is possible to live with the Devil if one can be an angel I wish everyone could know.
@bob-elr