Humans can be really difficult to understand sometimes. I know, its ironical that we can’t understand our own selves but that’s because human behavior is ridiculously complex and dynamic.
Add to it the fact that there are over seven and a half billion of us on the planet, with each of us possessing a different set of characteristics, nature, preferences, mentality and what not. Therefore, there’s no surprise that sometimes people just don’t make sense.
Still, it’s one of my favorite things to do. To observe people and to try and understand why they do what they do. Maybe in understanding others, I will be able to understand myself too.
Anyways, today I want to talk about one such trait that is shared by most people and I simply don’t understand it, even though I am guilty of it myself! What I am talking about is, our tendency of not valuing things we have and only valuing them if we either don’t have them or fear losing them.
The Value of Things/People
So, let me give you an example. Let’s say you want a brand new laptop and have a particular model in mind that you really want to buy. The value of that laptop for you will be a lot, won’t it? Now, let’s say you are able to buy it one day.
Initially, you will be filled with joy and happiness but slowly, with time, the importance that you give to that laptop will decrease and you won’t even value it anymore. But, if someone threatens to take that laptop away from you, suddenly the very laptop will start to feel more valuable to you.
The same repeats in the case of people as well, but thankfully to a lesser degree than things. We always run after things or people that we don’t have in life and tend to take those for granted that are already there. It is only when we fear losing them, that we truly understand their importance.
I wonder why this is so. Clearly the things and people that we cherish are important to us, but why do we start taking them for granted? What changes?
Being Grateful Vs Having Desires
As I was reflecting upon this idea, I came to the conclusion that our tendency to do so could be because we have endless desires as human beings. No matter how many things we accumulate, there will always be that one more thing that we just have to have.
Having desires is not a bad thing. Yes, it can be bad for your mental peace but desires can also keep you motivated to keep working hard because if you don’t, you just won’t be able to fulfill them. So, in that sense it is ok.
But we also can’t ignore the better way to live your life and that is to be grateful for the things (and people) you have. Gratitude gives you a sense of fulfillment and the realization that you have more than what most people will ever get, is really an eye-opener.
And as I have said many times before and also in my “law of attraction” post, gratitude itself is a way to have even more stuff because the things and people you are grateful for (genuinely), the more you get of them. The universe makes sure of that.
This is something that just came to my mind and I just wanted to share this with you guys. I don’t even know if I made much sense at all as I was just writing what came to the mind. Have you ever had such a realization too?
People usually know the real value of things when they loose it. People take things for granted, but whenever we loose it. It suddently becomes the most important things. Thats why memories sometimes seems better than the reiality :)
Yes, exactly the point I was trying to make :)
I can relate to this a lot.
I pre-ordered a new tablet that looked really cool in the kickstarter campaign of the StartUp that was building it. I was really hyped and thought the technology was awesome.
However, it took more than half a year before the kickstarter ended, the production was finished, and mine was ready to be shipped. In the meantime, the enthusiasm had more or less died as I knew I was getting it for so long. Result? I haven't even opened it yet despite getting it two weeks ago!
Yeah, somehow we just 'lose interest' and things and people don't mean the same over time. Really makes one think about how we humans function.
Why are we always attracted to the wrong people? The reason is that what we are interested in is our own reflection. We value ourselves as much as we value ourselves, and we are loved as much as we think we deserve. Moreover, because of fear of change, we are attracted to people who will accept us as we are, and we always go the same way. @sauravrungta
No, that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about why we don't value things and people that are already there in our lives and are always running after those that aren't.
Like what Jean-Paul Sartre said, we are transcendent, thus our desires to acquire more has something to do with us wanting to be something more or else. We are not bound to be stuck in just one position, at least that's what these existentialist believed which applies to a lot of us. However, regarding losing things and recognizing it value when it's really gone out of our hand, that I think symbolizes how we like having everything on our hands, our control. Perhaps the value of so many things are not even their value itself but obviously how our hands our on them... Yes, that's it :)
Great point. I didn't even think about it like that.
Thank you. Nice to show you some perspective then :)
We Only Value Things We Don’t Have?
Yeah, we do!
We tend to think, what if - I had this, I was him, if if I bear this much of bank balance.... blah blah...
While we forget, "what we currently bear with us is more precious than the 'uncertain oes'."
'."It's also true - one should sense the things they want to achieve, why?? because it will help them picture the realness around them.
And, passively it will push towards unrelenting works and the roadmap to success.
Thank you @sauravrungta for this beautiful message!
PS: Would you mind sharing your Discord or Steemit chatroom link with me? I am extremely looking connect to your rward to exchanging connect to your words of wisdom closely!
Yes, it's the never ending desires that keep us in that state that makes us forget what we already have. That is why there are so many ungrateful people.
@sauravrungta why we are attracted to the bad things either we know that those things are bad but then also be attracted why?
I was not talking necessarily about the bad things but yes it is another thing we tend to do as well.
@sauravrungta dear can you make an article also on it like "why we are attracted towards the bad things actually we know that these things are bad? " So please talk about that and make an article related to that i'm looking forward to your nice response
best regards @waqarsabir786
Your post is exactly like what happend to me and it's terrible for being in this situation.
Yes, I know. Happens to all of us.
Humanity always finds something to ask yourself. This is usually not what they are.
"We think we will be happy if we have a lot of money. If we have a home, we are brand new, our house has a balcony, hele hele has a terrace, if everyone loves a brand car, if the car's tannery opens, we can see the sky we never looked at ..."
This is one of my articles, one paragraph, a little bit of a similar topic.
Congratulations on a nice article.
If you want to read:
https://steemit.com/writer/@slayer10/mutluluk-happiness-eng-tr
Yes, that is human nature to keep wanting more and more. Nicely put!
nice thoughts...
Thanks!
Interesting post again @sauravrungta.
I think our brain is the cause. Our spirit is constantly searching. Almost everyone suffers from it, because almost everyone lives from his / her thoughts. Even though we differ in terms of personality, we all think. Our brains are not made to be satisfied with this moment, they are made to solve problems. They are therefore made to search (for a solution to a seeming lack in our life).
Understand the illusion that we can find that 'more' - and can remain satisfied with it. You can not do that, it never stops. You will always want more. Or rather, your mind will always want more. It is not our fault, it is our brain's fault :)
hehe, I like how you said, it is not our fault it is our brain's fault. Kind of makes me feel the two are separate. Anyways, nicely put :)
I really loved it, It was such a wonderful Blog. After reading this essay, I thought about a beautiful Quote I have shown in my classes, and I want to share it to you "When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty, my only response is that I have a cup". It does not matter how much we've got, the most important thing is to appreciate we currently get in our hands.
Wow, I have never heard that one before and it is a really beautiful quote. :)
If we understood the value and mystery in a fluttering leaf or a blade of grass our hearts would never lack fulfillment, gratitude, and inspiration.
Agreed :)
I think that humans are collectors and hoarders, even at a young age we covet our toys, teddy bears, etc., with the latest addition most likely to be our favorite...at least for a little while.
I believe having something new like your laptop example, fulfills us on an emotional level. It's just a little strange that we should have such a relationship to an inanimate object.
So true. Hoarders is definitely an appropriate term.
beautiful post. my big brother @sauravrungta l like post & resteem this post
Thank you :)
why do i always wanna have curly hair, while all the curly hairs want straight hair like mine?
haha, because straight hair is awesome?? :P
We are weird like that. We always are so excited about buying something but once we have it, we don't value it. A tendency to take anything granted over a period of time.
Yes, it's sad really, if you think about it.
Beautiful post
Thank you :)
Because we forget to be grateful for what we have.
Exactly.
People who don't feel 'sorry' and/or 'guilt' of the wrongdoings are the one who are happy in life. This is one part of the human psychology. The feeling of 'no guilt' brings additional desires. No repentance, and they just move on, until when nobody knows. People who have a feeling of guilt are the people who are less happy, and have no such additional plainly desires. But then again, human behavior, psychology and philosophy coming together is such a vague thing.
This is a beautiful post @sauravrungta. True to your lines, "Maybe in understanding others, I will be able to understand myself too". That's what we all should be doing.
That's a really good point and I agree with it. Sad that such times have befallen humanity.
Good stuff I upvote it
I will be happy
If u upvote my stuff
https://steemit.com/writing/@raza786/7llfb4
Thanks :)
I agree, wanting something we don't have can be difficult, "The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence" is easy to say but hard to live by, especially when it comes to feeling grateful for and not jealous of others.
Agreed.
Feelings developed to serve a function, they drive us. Desire for something drives us to do what it takes to get it. Fear of losing something drives us to protect it.
It is only natural that we won't feel those feelings for things that we have and aren't threatened.
As of value, well, I believe we do have value for the things we have, but we don't often check that value. It's like pain. When you're in pain you notice it, but when the pain goes away, it is much harder noticing it's not there any more, you have to be very mindful of yourself to be able to do that.
If I think about things that I have, and what value they have to me, I can tell they do. Some of the things, anyway. There are definitely things I have acquired and then didn't have any desire for.
This is so beautifully put and thanks for providing a different view point to the idea I was discussing. The example of pain is really on point!
Having gratitude for life seems like an advantage to me. If we are always thinking about the next thing or wondering why things didn't go differently, we'll be trapped in our mind instead of being present in the moment. When we have gratitude for what we have, all around us, it helps us stay in the moment, which is where we have all our power to act and work towards adding(and in doing so, receiving) value.
Exactly! I wish more of us realize this. There would be a lot less negativity in the world.
When i readed your post the first thing that camed to my mind is , The love feelings , you love a person that dont have the same feelings for you and the one that loves you , well you dont have feelings for him crazy world...
Yeah, it is pretty crazy!
Hi there,
Thank you for such a thoughtful post! I also want to admit that I like to observe people :) Only because of the curiosity of how they live their lives. I have also lived in many different cultures and have learned so much from that. It really does make you reflect on how you do things yourself.
It is a very important subject. It might even be THE key to happiness? Material things comes and go and we will always keep striving for more and better. It has been proven MANY times that it doesn't make us happy. Actually the opposite. The people who live a minimalistic life are shown to be happier.
I keep a gratitude journal to remind myself every morning and night about all the things I have in my life and each time I feel more and more rich. I would recommend to everyone I meet to do the same. If we focus on all the things we already have we feel fulfilled <3
Gratefulness is the key,
Thank you for sharing!
A lot of love and happiness to you!
You lead an amazing life, being able to live in many different cultures and experiencing life in all its forms. You said it perfectly that gratitude is indeed the key to happiness. The more grateful we are, the happier and more fulfilled we feel. The more we run after materialistic things, the less fulfilled we feel. It's ironic really! hehe
Thanks for reading and a lot of love and happiness to you too :)
From what I've seen it all comes down to powerful drives of personal hopes, dreams, and fears. We have visions of the person we want to be then we try to set ourselves up to be that person or we have inner demons which drive us to something we believe will comfort us or keep us safe. It sounds trite to say it, but knowing what you are capable of, what you are actually willing to do, and your long term interests brings a lot less waste and drama into your life.
Knowing all these things and conciously reviewing them as we make decisions helps a lot but I know with absolute certainty that I still want LOTS of ice cream and I'm certain that the fast metabolism that I don't want to have grown out of will keep me sexy-slim!
I agree that it is the human drive that causes us to behave in the way we do. Maybe it's THE reason why we do anything really. And yes, who doesn't love ice cream right? :D
I'm so glad that someone understands this and thank you so much for the kind words. I really appreciate it :)
There's someone else like me in the world and it's scary :)
You believe in gratitude consciousness .
Yes, I do.
nice
Thanks :)
i think this title was written to spark debate (that's good) but to make a broad statement like that 'Why Do We Only Value Things We Don’t Have?' is a bit of a generalization because that's not true for all of us, in fact i'd say that was an impossible statement -- i value this platform and the people on it for instance :)
Yeah, it was generalization and not all people are the same. That's why I wrote "a lot of people" instead of "all people".
Great post there, keep up good work !
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Thanks!