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RE: LauraLemons

in #life7 years ago

I am so unsure where to go with this comment and feel so deeply a sense of loss and guilt, that is quite irrational.

I had seen @lauralemons on the platform from time to time but never latched on, and hadn't seen the posts about struggling with alcohol or I would have been trying to help.

I feel I could have helped too.

That why it hurts so much.

I want to try and reach out to you and have, to see if I can reach into your life and offer you something too.

If only I had of connected through you to @lauralemons...

but who knows, maybe nothing I could have said or done would have made any difference anyway.

I have been one degree of separation from dog knows how many suicides now.

I don't know what that is supposed to mean.

I reiterate the offer I have made to you on discord and in dm several times
I am there for you, and have something concrete to offer you
lol, and it's not god
in case you were thinking that

anyway, my commiserations for your loss, and I know that means didlysquat right now

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Just that you took the time to stop by, read through and comment back shows you care and are supportive of stitch in this trying of times.

Much hat tip to you Sir Roo.

I hope you are not thinking back over the things you could have and didn't do and feeling regret.

Just think about the ones you did save and who they may have gone onto have a positive influence on.

Works for me.

<3

lol, I think the only ones I have saved so far have four legs @sammosk.

thanks for your kind words mate of mine.

U just quietly support your minnows and show the <3 :D

Thanks, spaingaroooooo!!!

thanks mate, I am chuffed to think you think that I help now. Maybe I do?

You might not say much, but every up-vote is encouraging :D
MANY have noticed! ;)

well shucks, thanks again.
I always feel like I never get to people's posts, and feel like a bad friend and follower, more often than a good one, so thanks for saying those nice things

First: Spain, I love ya. <3 Thank you for reaching out so much, and I am sorry that I haven't been in contact nearly as much as I should. I will work on that!

I understand the pain and guilt you feel, but I want you to try to eliminate that feeling, if you can. Or try to move on from it in a positive way.

One thing that I CAN say about my dear friend is that she could not be moved or swayed from her ways or thoughts easily. Which isn't really a bad thing, unless so much of their life is pain, negativity, and sadness. Which it was. Positive sentiments, encouragement, and advice did not go far with her, and that is okay. But it made it so hard to help her. And especially to save her from herself.

I have found that regret is one of the strongest, and at the same time, most futile feelings to experience. Please don't plague yourself with the could haves and should haves. Down that road lies madness. <3 <3 <3

no, in the end, I am pretty cool with it, and have mostly given up regrets.
Certainly this one is without true power, because I was still removed enough from the person, I only knew of her.

It's more her connection to you, it is insane to find myself only one person removed again, from someone who ended up there.

But believe me, thanks for noting and for caring.

I hope I can help you soon. I hope I can steer you towards external help, it's not really that I can do sweet fuck all, personally.
I just know some things that have helped me so much over these last few insane years.

I have a few tools in the old toolbox these days, and can get them out to knock people over the head with, that's all

haha
hope we talk at some point

I am stepping back just a bit from both steemit and discord, trying to get it to something not life and sanity threatening.

but you shout out and I am there
big hugs