in #life4 months ago

“The sorrow we feel when we lose a loved one is the price we pay to have had them in our lives.”
Rob Liano

Lead Guitar at the Metal Band WORMBOX
I took this photo and cloned it with a digital background creation - concert 2007 in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada


in younger and happier times

​ ​


the last time we met in person
2015 in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada

Over a year ago my first-born son posted this guitar piece on Soundcloud. It pains me to no end to listen to this and having found out that he passed away on October 27th 2023. - He was just 52 years old! His funeral is set for November 3rd 2023 in Calgary, Alberta. Jay was his nickname, in fact he went under Jay Wormbox on Facebook. Wormbox is the name of the band he was the lead guitarist. His given name is Jason Rapp. RIP my son - I love you and my heart aches. Perhaps we see each other again when I too will go over the rainbow bridge. I weep as I write this.
The illustration for this piece is a drawing of mine called MEMENTO MORI - in retrospect a foreboding?
the solo itself is quite different from Wormbox, a great personal touch.

7306a222-18e6-4996-bcc0-ca5dca318a5f.jpgServices in Calgary, Alberta, Canada


heavy metal group from Calgary
photos taken by me at a live event in Lethbridge, Alberta

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after the gig, at my house in Lethbridge
Jason on the right, with his arm around me

.... and Jason in the yard with my young son Otti

1551513_10152339893717470_6528099030022251469_n.jpgthis photo I took in 2007 is also found on Jason's Facebook page

To trace back to earlier times

Jason's Birth and early childhood

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Our Baby Jason Josef
born at Lethbridge Municipal Hospital
October 23rd 1971 at 10:18 PM
Weight 9 lbs 11 oz
Mary Jane & Otto Rapp

Scan_20230722 Jason Birth Certificate.jpg
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Early Childhood

at our place near city center in Lethbridge, Alberta
gone all 'Austrian' after a vacation: my mother got us the outfits

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44018799810_97e5568470_k-Jason July 1977.jpg6 years old - a polaroid, just like the ones above - I leave it like that, with my handwriting on it

Mary-Jane and Jason at Hochosterwitz .jpga few years later, in Austria at the castle Hochosterwitz in Carynthia - July 1981
Otto and Jason in Venice crp .jpga trip across the border from Carynthia, we visited Venice, Italy - July 1981

Unfortunately, I lost a lot of pictures in crashed drives and laptops, as well as lost albums. I recovered a scant few because I had sent hard copies to my mother, and found some in a box she saved. From Dia Slides I recovered a few pictures from a trip of just the two of us to Victoria in 1986.

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at Butchard Gardens in Victoria ▲ and having lunch at the Butchard Gardens ►
making a funny face chewing his food, so I cropped it out ▼

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taking a trip to Ucluet, Pacific Rim National Park on Vancouver Island, whale watching ►

02660003.JPGPacific Rim Rainforest - playing Tarzan ▲
if you squint, you spy him, right side center

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Jason Uclueat Vancouver Island 1986.jpg
02660010.JPGwe stayed in a cabin on the Canadian Princess in Ucluet - this was the lounge on that ship.

As mentioned before, there is a large gap in my photo record
in these past few days, other family members and friends of Jason sent me some pictures
but I also downloaded some from his Facebook page

Photos from Jason's Family & Friends

with his sisters Nicole and Tasha



FB_IMG_1698597804816.jpgJason with his daughter Trista


climbing seems his passion
remember a photo from BC in 1986 as a 15 year old
there would be a few more - I uploaded most of what I have to my Flickr album

The last time I met Jason in person again, after I moved to Austria in 2011
was on a visit to Canada four years later

My Canadian Visit 2015

11951451_10152939784442470_3438175307132459120_o.jpgl to r: my younger son Otto FJ, granddaughter Trista, myself, grandson Sebastian and my dear elder son Jason


Otto FJ's mother Christan on the left


now it was Otto FJ's turn to take the picture
(we took turns with the camera)

Quote from a friend on Facebook directed me to a scene in Lord of the Rings, between King Theoden and Gandalf

Theoden : No parent should have to bury their child.
Gandalf : He was strong in life. His spirit will find the way to the halls of your fathers.


Calgary, Alberta, Canada on October 3rd 2023 at 2:00 PM

I am thankful to my granddaughter Trista Rapp for sending me these photos from the service.





Trista also put together a touching video on Canva:
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A short version of a brillant performance I posted on YouTube just now

this is a clip taken from the original YouTube video JAY WORMBOX SHREDDING

Jay from Wormbox at Shred Fest Against Cancer Fundraiser @ The Underground, Calgary, January 24, 2009 - it is just too bad that the sound is not so good on something I consider one of his most accomplished performances

I still cannot believe he is gone!
there is so much I would have wanted to discuss with him
we used to talk quite often via messenger, and he sometimes called me on that service, sometimes in the middle of the night, not realizing the time difference.
These past few days I kept waking up, thinking I should call him back.

late night selfie on Friday, November 3rd 2023, the day of the service for Jason
I was there in spirit

Visit my website





should you not be on the blockchain, or have no upvote power, or this post is already older than 7 days, you can always just buy me a coffee.


Es tut mir sehr leid, von deinem Verlust zu hören. So jung!
Ich wünsche Dir viel Kraft in den nächsten Tagen.

Danke für deine Anteilnahme, mein Freund! Ich habe dich beim Wiener Hive Stammtisch vermisst. Es war eine Zweierpartie mit Viktor, wir haben auch u.a. darüber gesprochen.

Otto, I'm writing this comment listening to the Solo Keys track. He was a great musician! I am sad to learn someone you love dearly is gone. I don't know you well but I hope your heart heals. Don't be afraid to reach out for help from those you trust if you need it.

I truly appreciate your comment. I just wish he would have recorded more - I actually encouraged him at the time he posted it a year ago. Because it was so different from what he was doing with his metal band (which basically had not done much since 2012). At that time he suffered from carpal tunnel syndrome and could not do any sustained playing. In conversations later he said it was getting better.
I am still in shock. He used to call me from Canada, time difference of 8 hours behind mine in Austria, so I got calls at 3 AM. These days I sort of wake up around that time thinking I should call him .... until I realize he is not there anymore. 😥

Musicians getting repetitive stress injuries is much harder on them than it sounds to most people. I know this because a friend couldn't play guitar after injuring himself. He became depressed enough to drop out of college. I wish he recorded more too,

Additional Information regarding the band my son Jason belonged to - whatever you find on the web is mostly outdated, but this bio shows how the band started:


Wormbox formed in early 2004 in Calgary, Alberta, when brothers Mark and Rick Fiset answered a musicians wanted ad and met two longtime friends James Jameson and Jay Rapp. Musically, things came together very quickly while the search for the right vocalist continued. After a few months and many auditions, Alex Liddy entered the picture and the puzzle was complete.
Rather than rushing out to play shows as soon as they were able, the decision was made to hold off and make sure they were as happy as they could possibly be with the performance of the songs, as well as have more to offer to people on top of well rehearsed, well crafted songs. With a demo recorded, an extensive line of merchandise, and as much of a stage and light show as they could muster - since most local clubs seemed to be lacking in that area - they decided it was time to take it to the people, and they did it with a vengeance.
The shows got better and better, they received great reviews locally and abroad, and a fan base that continued to grow stronger. Wormbox captured the attention of Cyclone records shortly after their first couple months of playing live and they proved to be a very helpful ally and spread the news far and wide that Wormbox was a band to watch out for. Cyclone records offered their services to do a digital only re-release of the self titled "Wormbox" demo which was named one of the top ten Canadian metal releases of 2005 by metal net radio's Dr. Steel. Not bad for a CD that was only meant to land in the hands of promoters in order to start booking some local shows.
"The Greatest Underground Show On Earth" which was a compilation CD of metal bands hailing from the city of Calgary, was also released by Cyclone records and featured another track by Wormbox, "Hate Therapy," which also garnered more great reviews and public awareness for the band.
March of 2007 Wormbox entered Monster Music Studios and emerged two and a half months later with a new full length CD entitled "The Judas Chair" which was engineered, mixed and mastered by Rodger Sallans. On a side note, all of the CD artwork, as with all Wormbox promotional material from day one, was illustrated and designed by members of the band. The CD was released to the public on May 25, 2007 and Wormbox is currently in the process of playing shows and promoting The Judas Chair to bring it to the public eye.
In September of 2007 Wormbox was chosen as the only Canadian metal band to perform at Locofest 2007. The open air festival which took place just outside of Boston, Massachucetts and featured headliners HEAVEN & HELL (Black Sabbath with Dio), ALICE COOPER, QUEENSRYCHE and SHADOWS FALL was definitely a dream come true for the 5 dudes from Calgary, and the experience of a lifetime.
In February 2008 Cyclone Records released their second compilation of Calgary Metal - "The Greatest Underground Show On Earth - Vol. 2" which features the Wormbox track Harbor The Curse. The same track also appears on the As We Storm Canada compilation, as well as the Fateless Empire compilation. Harbor The Curse was also featured on Revolver magazine's meet & greet page at and Wormbox also appeared in 2 issues of the magazine in early 2009.
Currently Wormbox is in the process of writing the follow-up to The Judas Chair, the new material thus far is once again a step up in the evolution of the band.
Wormbox has earned a reputation of having the best live show in the Calgary area and they continue to strive to improve that with each performance, standing firmly in their belief that "Every stage deserves to be treated as a stage.especially yours!"

Yesterday, Jason's girlfriend Anette contacted me and gave me access to a cache of stuff from her laptop (that Jason also used), which she uploaded to Google Drive. Much of it are sound files of Jason playing and practicing, but also older files of jam sessions with his band, and also special sessions with his drummer friend James. The cache of files is almost 7 GB. A quick survey of some of the files show that some of it is a motherlode of great stuff.
I was also able to make screenshots of the only 3 short videos on Facebook, he posted of himself playing, which were from September and October of this year.

Wirklich tragisch, mein Beileid, sehr schön zusammengestelltes Album.

Otto. I can't even find the words. The idea of losing a son is unfathomable to me. My condolences to you and your family. He was clearly a wonderful and talented person, just like his dad.

Thank you Rick, and thanks for reblogging it! I appreciate this. I am working my way through this and my days are pretty much preoccupied right now, desperately wanting to time-travel back to happier times ..... so many photos I had lost on crashed drives when I didn't know any better to do backups. When last we talked, there were plans for him to come to Austria for a visit: my sister was going to help finance it - my sis, who just lost her husband a few months ago. It has not been a good year .......

It really is true that when it rains, it pours. And it can be really hard to see through the fog during these times. Do you still have those drives? Did they completely die?

yes, I still have them. Maybe I should see if they can be recovered. One is a laptop, and two external drives.

Yeah, it really depends on how the drive is damaged, as to how easy or hard it is to fix it. For instance, I have had some old western digital drives fail where won't even power up. I bought an identical drive, removed the circuit board from it and installed it on the broken one and it worked right away. You have to get the exact same model drive though. If it has broken internally, this is more complicated, however.

WD is one of them, Lacie another. The laptop is a Acer.
The drive that works best for me is a 2TB Seagate. Thinking about getting another Seagate, maybe 5TB.

So sorry to hear your news. May he rest in piece and his music live on.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. As a father myself, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you must be going through. My condolences.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, it must be so painful for you not to be there with him in his final journey

Ohhh dear @thermoplastic I am so so sorry, truly no parents should have to bury their children.

My deepest condolences my dearest, please be strong♥️

sending maximum love, having lost a son there are no words, just know you are not alone.

Mein aufrichtiges Beileid.

Thank you everyone for your comments!

Since then I received more photos from after the service from Jason's sister Tasha. Also Trista promised to send me a copy of the live stream soon.
Once I have all the additional info gathered, I will post a update.
My young son Otti, Jason's half brother, attended the services, and he is seen here on this group photo in the middle, to the right (his left) Jason's daughter Trista and son Sebastian, far left their mother Clair. Sebastian and Otti are almost the same age, only a couple of months apart, but Otti is their uncle!
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