10 Things You Didn't Know About Facebook

in #life6 years ago (edited)

Check out @traf for original memes, one liners and other short comedy content created by my evil conjoined twin brother. We're so closely conjoined, in fact, you could easily mistaken us for a single regular person.


10 Things You Didn't Know About Facebook

While we're all having a swell time on Steemit, most of us, lets face it, still visit Facebook now and again; if for no other reason than because none of us have the time to stalk our exes in person these days. Here are some lesser known facts about the social media juggernaut that lie somewhere on the scale between almost interesting and almost true:

facebook.jpg

  1. The average Facebook user checks Facebook 16 times a day. As a point of comparison, the average Steemit user checks Steemit 16 times an hour to see if the fucking site's back up and running yet.

  2. You can't block Mark Zuckerberg on Facebook. I think I speak for everybody when I say I'm sick of seeing his videos of that talking animated penis pop up in my feed. Oh that's just his face? Nevermind then.

  3. The 'Like' button was initially going to be called the 'Awesome' button. Other rejected names include 'Fuck Yeah', 'I'd Tap That' and 'I don't really give a shit about your dinner/cat/baby, but the rules of social propriety dictate that I provide some meaningless validation of your existence here.'

  4. Mark Zuckerberg receives only a $1 yearly salary as the CEO of Facebook. And the kids working at the sweatshop I run think they've got it hard.

  5. Facebook has over 2 billion active monthly users, narrowly beating out the previous record held by your mom.

    face.jpg

  6. There are over 50 million dead people on Facebook. In fact, 10,000 Facebook users die each day, which begs the question: why don't we save all these people by taking down the site?

  7. The main color of Facebook is blue because Mark Zuckerberg suffers from red-green colorblindness. At least he'll be able to clearly see my balls.

  8. Facebook is responsible for 1/3 of all divorces in the USA, making it the number 1 source of marital break ups in the country. So if you're trapped in a loveless marriage, using Facebook is by no means a guarantee; you may have to resort to more drastic measures such as fucking the mother-in-law.

  9. Facebook tracks the sites you visit even after you sign out. You can imagine how inconvenient that is for someone like me where my roommate always borrows my laptop to visit porn sites right after I check up on how well my ex is holding up following our recent break up 4 years ago.

  10. You can change your language on Facebook to 'Pirate'. Doing so will rename your news feed to 'home port', friends list to 'crew roster' and trending topics becomes 'popular booty' etc. Clever eh? Now, if they really had a sense of humor, they would have offered braille as an option too.

Well there you go, hope you all learned something new about Facebook. With this information, you can all become billionaires by travelling back in time to 2005 and investing in the company, so what are you waiting for?


References
30 Facts you didn't know About Facebook!
15 Surprising Things You Didn't Know About Facebook


Images from pixabay.com


If you enjoyed this piece, please Upvote, Resteem and follow me @trafalgar, especially if you believe non steemit/crypto related articles are good for the platform. Also, check out my new account @traf for short one liners and memes.

Sort:  
There are 4 pages
Pages

It was worth the 3 attempts to vote and post a comment for this line alone....

Facebook has over 2 billion monthly active users, narrowly beating out the previous record held by your mom.

Fucking hilarious. 😂

haha yeah I can get really mature like that :)

Is your mum on FB, Perc?

My Mum doesn't even have WiFi babe let alone Facebook.

It got ways better though the last days. Doesn't take 10 attempts anymore 😉

Ya but how would you invest in the company? They’re not interested in your $10. Instead, save up to buy bitcoin in 2009 from Satoshi on the forums :)

Yah..agree..bitcoin for less than a dollar..2008? My 100 dollar was worth 100BTC..my 200 dollar will be worth more than 200 BTC..what a nice life i could have been..if i discovered BTC earlier...lol
300BTC times 6558 dollars..thats 1967400 times 50= P98,370,000..

Btw, Bitcoin's block chain does not go back to 2008.

That’s an insightful article in a very humorous way!

thanks a lot htliao :)

Could you do a

10 Things Facebook Knows About You.

hmm probably not a bad idea, maybe one day :)

Haha your humor is spot on lol ! Made me crack up for each point 😂

and theres a thing called Legacy contact
"You can nominate someone to take care of your facebook when something happens to you" :)

haha yes I guess it's wise to plan ahead when you're a pirate like me who's likely to walk the plank one day

such interesting info, I didn't know Mark Zuckerberg suffers from red-green colorblindness .. and also feel like steemit it so much better today .

better yes, still took me a few tries to post a reply here hehe

it was like that for me for the past days ,and but now I can post super fast! Can u guess it's pretty exciting for me ..lol

Lol. This is hilarious. Now, where's my delorean...

I'm borrowing it to stop zuckerberg's parents from ever meeting

Hahaha.I enjoyed the laugh.
Upvoted and resteemed :-)

thanks a salways lichtblick

Aha! Very interesting data, thanks for sharing.

谢谢

哈哈,不客气
很高兴看到你几个月之后再次发帖:)

Facebook and ( Instagram ) :))) It is one very big joke :)))

It even asks me money, That my neighbor can see me :)))
The only thing I do there, I but up my steemit links, just this.
And soon I close my Instagram too .

hopefully steemit can take over social media and we won't need the other anymore

Yes...and very soon :)

You miss one thing, and I make it 11, Facebook was Russia bitch during the election and it was responsible for Donald Trump Presidency, now the Democrats can't get over so, so censorship is at an all time high...lol

haha i'm happy to blame trump on anyone really

Hahahahaha...damn Trump and those Russian sponsored facebook ads...

hehe, love it 😂 I don't really want to check your fb though as it seems like you're just posting your blue balls over there 😜

yup! so zucky can get a good look at them

So as he's posting the Penis, you reply with balls 😂😂:D

You always manage to make me laugh, my dear. Everything you say has always a spark truth in it ..... thanks for the exchange my friend !! steem on....

thanks for checking out my post again :)

welcome my friend....

Hahaha! Every point cracked me up, man! I really wish you didn't put a number on them, because I wouldn't know how to rank them. Those sweatshop kids... ugh! Always finding things to complain about. I'm coughing up blood and having trouble breathing or my teeth are falling off PFT! Zuck's living on $1 a year, just like Steve Jobs that came before him. You won't ever see them complain, especially Jobs. In fact, they won't ever hear anything from him anytime soon.

Just a thought I had as I was sitting in the toilet: what if you had @traf's profile picture horizontally flipped to give that kind of juxtaposed feel to it?

haha thanks jedau
woudln't be a terrible idea :)

Right!? I mean, after all my other ideas, the only direction to go is up. So, yeah :D

We visit pages no longer live! - I think it's a fact. But now I do not want to visit my Facebook page)
The main color of Facebook is blue because Mark Zuckerberg suffers from red-green colorblindness. At least he'll be able to clearly see my balls. - lol
Trafalgar you are funny :)

haha thanks, glad you enjoyed it

Could you please post the link to that timetravelling machine? I already tried the wayback machine, but it didn't work, I'm still here, late at the party as always..

sry, link's down atm :(

Don't tell me, DDoS attacks again?

Very well written with the hilarious trafalgar spin

thank you travelgirl

Ha Ha ! Made my morning!!! Now I wonder is he really colorblind? Why doesn't he pop up in my feed, did I somehow block him...

haha you've blocked the unblockable

LOL I was literally ROFLing reading this one!!! hahahah I absolutely lost it at number 5!!! LOLOLOL

haha thanks a lot saurav :)

I am not sure about that single "regular" person part... ;)

lol, I guess i'm single for a reason then :)

Nah... single by choice! Funny and good looking... You're a catch! :)

(things are getting a little weird, that was meant in a completely heterosexual way) :)

thanks jrcornel, I never have to right swipe myself when you're around :)

Have a look on ur post haahaaa intresting @trafalgar
An one thing more facebook take money & steemit give money thats the difference.

Lets steem friends

haha so true

Keep posting like this that entertain us @trafalgar

Aaahhhhh @trafalgar it's great having you back. Here I was, navigating your list of 10 items confidently, all the while asserting to myself that I'm an old hand at humour & that nothing will truly catch me with my pants down when...

POW

I was blindsided by the Chuck Norris roudhouse kick to the side of the head that was point 5's mom reference!

I was not expecting that stealth attack as the sentence unfolded! Well done sir, well done!

thanks! great to be back
i burn out easily :(

the number 4 is a game that all rich do to pay less taxes, when you are an employee pay more taxes than investors or owner of a enterprise.

Lol

Very clever. What a hoot!

thanks a lot, glad you enjoyed it

Hilarious post. Thanks for the LOL!

This Guy

Well, People takes Facebook as a necessity while its only a social media platform. It doesn't provide us value in any sense except sometimes people get the person of their dreams over there :) Lol.

Can we stop with FakeBook? Better Yesterday dan today.

Lets STEEM

@trafalgar i am not sure you'll see my comment or not But One more fact that you missed out is, facebook is worlds biggest (hidden) market search company, which sells the users database. I have an app and its well devopled when I open my facebook profile its shows me; facebook bots tracking my records with browsing history i see many cookies and catchy files too. they have a bots inside, they are tracking everyones personal data, they knows where we are seeing, where we are clicking on our own profile. Thats very dangerous.
thanks. your post made me openedup little.
😑😐😏

thanks a lot, sorry I can't load every message very well because when there are a lot of replies the page doesn't load for me

yes facebook is notorious for tracking your browsing info and selling your information

Wow @trafalgar you are so kind, totally agreed fb and google does the same and we knowz their clients too.
Thanks for your precious reply I wish you all the best. you doing great work. 😍😍

Awesome post. Keep it up!

Ahahahhahha...while Reading ur post I just ended up burning my hand in the cup of hot tea xD

Very interesting facts indeed.

Hello sir @trafalgar please help me. You can tell me how to grow steem rank.I follow you sir .I resteem your post sir.
Please help sir and follow me sir.

This was hilarious! I shot coffee out of my nose ffs!

Of course, I did not know any of that about Facebook. Thanks for sharing!

hey..@trafalgar great post thanks for sharing...

Well the most shocking part was that of salary of the ceo . I really can't believe that . All the point are amazing . Sir plz I need your your support . Sir plz give suggestions to improve my blog and also upvote some of my comment sir plz. It's a humble request to you.

Thanks for the information. for sharing,
Thanks @trafalgar
Have a great day

Very good post my friends @trafalgar
thanks for the information my frends
i upvote and resteem
I would be very happy if you are willing to visit my blog

This is more cancerous than aids @trafalgar

can't be too bad then, don't think aids is a form of cancer

Since I joined steemit I am no more interested in any other social media mate!
You are absolutely right about the average daily steemit user checking 16 times an hour!!!

ya it's taking me a few tries just to post this reply haha

  1. I don't check even once.
  2. Had a little idea of that, I think from his movie
  3. Just came to know
  4. Mark has so many other things to do to get required money.
  5. New thing
  6. Approximation and not exact
  7. Just came to know
  8. Just came to know, but have so many other thing to worry about
  9. Very bad
  10. I should check out!

Help me grow, any help appreciated ☺

your content is hilarious 😂😂

thank you for checking it out

I hope we get a steem powered time machine soon ;) now stop stalking your ex :D

haha
5 more minutes of stalking mommy, then i'll be done i promise!

There are 4 pages
Pages