A recent passing of a schoolmate reminded me of how truly short and unpredictable life can be. But more than that, it made me realise how perplexing it is to consolidate the sorrow of losing someone, when all the memories you have of that person encompasses laughter and happiness.
Photo credit Melissa Askew on Unsplash
Things get additionally baffling when the person and memories are tied to a period in my personal life that was both impactful and tragic. It was the start of my annual jump from one school to another, thus teaching me to adapt to new environments and learning to make new friends. By the same token, I lost one of the most important persons in my life then.
Ultimately, I choose to find the bright spot in everything in order to move on with life. And, by habit (or possibly to survive trauma), my mind and emotions chose mostly positive experiences, while making sure that I acknowledge and embrace the not-so-positive ones as part of my growth. Blessings in disguise, I like to say.
Which brings me to when we are to die, sooner or later
I wonder if my friend would want people to celebrate his life rather than mourn his passing.
I personally would hope that when I die, people who knew me will remember the kindness and positive times that we shared. Little tears, and more happy nostalgia abound while reconnecting with old friends and acquaintances. Like a reunion party. That's how I envision my funeral to be like.
Dear Lee,
Thank you for the laughter. You definitely made my transition to a new school and new environment memorable and happy. I'm sorry I don't get to tell you this in person. I'm sorry that I'm not as sad as I should be. I can't help but think you are at peace now and I only have fond memories of you. Maybe it's also because we weren't as close compared to your other long-time friends, and that's why I don't mourn your loss as much. But damn if I don't consider you my true friend.
You are missed.
As for the rest of my friends in St Patrick's Secondary School Tawau, especially class 2B of 1989 and class 2/3A of 1989-90, my message to you is that even though I don't text or be in a particular WhatApps group, or not connected with you via Facebook or other social media, I have not forgotten you. Our time was brief and I don't always articulate it, but in truth you are all dear to my heart and an important part of a special chapter in my life. I'm always grateful to be able to reconnect with those whom I have managed to. I'll be here as your friend if ever you need help or simply want to drop by and chat.
Just as long as it's not about MLM lol.
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