I used to complain a lot. Everything was someone else's fault. It really was. I wasn't making it up. That's the reality that I was living in and so thinking of myself as a victim was a natural reaction to my circumstance. I was bullied, treated terribly by the opposite sex, and my hard work resulted in mediocre grades in school. I imagine things could have continued forever like that and I would have lived a pretty average life, not exactly rocking it but getting by, hitting lots of bumps in the road and cursing them rather than being thankful for every little thing in my life.
So what happened?
I realized that things only change if I make an effort to change them...and stick with it...and fall down...and get back up again....and change the plan....and fall down again....and always keep working at it. When I was 18 and insecure I had a pretty bad breakup. She met a guy on the bus and three days later the past 4 months had been erased from her memory. I was so upset. I looked at myself and felt totally useless. I had been studying my ass of for C's, I had no talents, no passion other than passively listening to music and being a hipster.
One day, rolling in bed, not really wanting to get up I imagined what success would look like to me. Unlike many of my peers, I saw success as being able to impact the world in a positive way. I spent a few days imagining. Since I loved music and always wanted to write songs, of course I would be writing music. I felt ignorant about the world, a successful version of myself would be able to speak many languages and communicate well, confident, rather than insecure.
After a few days I decided to make it happen. I would be the Rock Lee (Naruto reference) of music and language study, make up for my lack of innate talent with hard work and perseverance . I wasn't sure which language to study at first so I went online to search for information on food and music and lifestyle from other countries. In the process I found an album that blew me away, by a Japanese pop singer (I hated pop) and I knew I had to go to Japan to discover what could have inspired this music.
3 days later I had a guitar and a Japanese textbook.
I can't express with words how I felt when I read my first book in Japanese or had my first show a few years later. It wasn't the sense of satisfaction of the ego. I knew that I was achieving my purpose for being here on this earth. I didn't want to brag, and I didn't need people's praise, just achieving these things were enough. I had given my life meaning and I would continue to from that point on. Now I hardly go a day where I don't feel that something was accomplished or without he feeling that the day was beautiful or unique in some way.
So give your life meaning.
You don't have to search for meaning, make it! When you aren't sure how to make something big happen, start small. All the small things you do with passion and excitement tend to tie together to pave a way for bigger things to happen. Start by thinking about what you like. Then
"Be Awesome" community
The second most recent thing I have done out of excitement was join steemit. The most recent was creating and promoting the very simple and straightforward Be Awesome discord chat, a chat based around the desire to make deeper connections with fellow steemians. If you need help thinking of what little or big things you can do to give your life purpose, let's talk about it. If you just want to make friends and talk about some "deep shit" , welcome! The community is still growing but if you make one new friend, isn't it worth it already? If you want to know what album it was that inspired me to start studying Japanese, find me in the chats ;-)
Be Awesome discord channel
Post explaining the reason for the Be Awesome Chat
I can rely a lot to this post.
When I started to take responsibilty for everything which happened in my life, was the day (actually it is a process till this day) where my life turned around.
I was the one in charge, the one who called the shots, the hero of my own movie.
You give up so much power if everything is just happening to you.
As my perspective on life changed, everything started to happen for me.
I was clearing up my values and following them. I started to use time instead of just waiting for the day to end.
Dont get me wrong things are not perfect and never will be, since once you started to pursuit goals, there will come others but just the ride is awsome and I enjoy it.
Applause ! & Upvote. (Please don't be offended by my giving a 50% of my 60 some cents vote lol. Since we can only upvote so many things now, I've decided to do 50% on comments and save the 100% for posts.)
I would never be offended by an upvoted. doesnt matter how many %.
I do the same btw. need to remain some voting power
That's really does sound like me. It kind of turned me into a workaholic for a while but eventually I found balance.
There is no real destination, you just kind of keep moving and it gets more and more fun as you figure out how it all works. :-)
You are absolutely right, having more of an external locus of control (like where you blame everyone and everything) for your setbacks isn't going to get you far. Once you begin thinking internally you start to make progress as the first step in your journey starts with you.
I can't believe I didn't use the term external lotus of control in this article haha. You are so right. It's not easy from some perspective though. That's why I keep trying to say it in a hundred different ways.
Well being able to easily explain things in multiple ways helps to teach people and everyone learns differently. So it's a good thing :)
So interesting to read about others experiences, in many ways I think everyone goes through the same struggles. I notice lots of good communication going on through many of us "newer" members I think its going to be a very strong group in a year or so. Teamwork makes the Steem work!
I hope the connections being made here now will lead to truly great accomplishments. I see that happening
The sensitive types always get pushed around at the start of life, mine was no different. I took to beating myself up over it. Like I should have been able to make more out of myself or somehow triumph through adversity. It's a bad cycle.
When I find someone in that cycle now I just tell them that they have value as that was what I learned.
And I tell everyone I meet about steemit because I believe it can change the world.
You can change the world. You give steemit it's meaning, you know what I mean? Make it happen! Life is full of feedback loops, we gotta turn the negative ones into positive ones
We love these feedback loops, I have created several just this morning lol.
I can imagine it was rough going through that breakup, but often times we must first be destroyed in order to proceed with progression. Stars go supernova and devastate entire solar systems, just to give birth to a new star and a new solar system. I'm glad to read that you have used this event as a catalyst towards progression, best of luck in your journey!
It was a long time ago, I almost forget but I remember how strongly I felt that I needed a change and it was almost anger at myself that started me off. I tortured myself with study and practice at first until I started to see results and then it became fun. Turning the downward spirals into upward spirals can be tricky, still working on a formula to help people struggling with similar issues. I suppose it often does require some kind of explosion.
Isn't it odd how what seems to be such powerful events at the time turn into fading memories with time? Sounds like you definitely learned a lot from the experience though. :)
You have said it all.. give your life a meaning. Do not relegate your self as a loser!
Thanks for sharing this @whatamidoing
and please do stay in touch
I followed you so it'll be easy to stay in touch ;-)
Thanks bro
Such a beautiful perspective. l've been thinking about this a lot lately - what if I just lived the life I wanted? What if I only do what I want? How can I be someone who hopefully enriches the lives of others as well as my own?
Then , as you know, I found out I'm gonna be a mom - and these thoughts are daily. It's not just about me now - I've always been a perma student - but hopping from interest to interest - a dabbler. Piano, guitar, trumpet, Arabic, Spanish - etc. Now, I feel like I must pursue my hobbies, and dedicate my life to what I want so I can be a badass mom.
The moment you decided to live life on your terms - and become the best you - you did the whole world a favor because we can all learn and find inspiration in all that you share.
Keep at it :-)
You can give the most love when you give yourself love
You might find later that all the things you dabbled in serve some kind of purpose and that they tie together in some roundabout way. Just keep doing what excites you, I'm sure being an amazing mom will be on the top of the list
:-)
turns out you did have talent, after all... takes guts and dreams to make them happen, of course, and maybe nobody will notice until you get to the place and then they will be like 'i never knew you had it in you'. You never know what you got in you until you test it :)
I always kind of knew I could do great things, it just felt like I was fighting against the world. Once I started really working towards it I found allies and now that I found steemit I feel like the change is here.
"It's you and me, against the world. We attack at dawn." :)
Wisdom is freedom! Blessings!
;-)
In every shit day is something good also :)
Just be awesome !
When god hands you lemons.....find a new god!!!!!
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Life has no purpose until it is given to it, write your own destiny man! Love the words bro! Dream BIG!!
Yeah, you see where I am coming from real well :-) Followed
Cheers bro :)
Amazing post!! You nailed it, and many of the comment's are right on!!
Thanks! I hope I can bring together a bunch of great passionate people with ideas together through my writing :-D ....followed!
I enjoyed your content and I am just starting to find my way. Thank you and have a nice day.
Glad if I can help :-)
I was able to correlate. well written post @whatamidoing
Thanks, stick around ;-)
I wrote an article about a similar situation im dealing with. Thanks i needed that. https://steemit.com/life/@jhip626/need-more-meaning-in-your-life
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" I imagined what success would look like to me. "
I accomplished all the dreams I had 25 years ago. but I realised it's not about the money or the accomplishment, because I never felt satisfied even when I succeeded. Then I took a long time to rethink my whole approach and somewhat I figured out that it was the journey and the challenge that give me fullfillment, not the goal itself.
It feels good to succeed things, but you are right, "happiness" that depends on such accomplishments will always be temporary whereas here is a kind of peace that can be rewritten into your very being. That lasts rough everything. :-D
I have learned to do the things I can and not waste time because we only get to live for a short period of time @whatamidoing
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