I had full intentions of writing another "update" post when we returned from Dallas, back to Mexico last Friday, but I've been busy filling my days with busy work, solely for the purpose of not having to think too much. sigh ... that only lasts for so long, so here I sit, facing my reality.
Good news first; Our oldest son is coming for a visit next week and our time with my brother, his family, and my parents in Dallas for Thanksgiving was successful! It's always great to see family; I didn't realize how much I had been missing them. The bad news; I didn't realize how much I had been missing them, which now, makes me miss them even more. I have to admit that I get lonely sometimes, with Brian not well and resting so much, and then seeing family really struck that chord. More bad news; my mother is in the beginning stages of Dementia/Alzheimer's (it's not clear which yet), but suffice it to say that I'm definite that it's one of those. I heard several times, Is that your real hair color, over the course of one week, to which I replied, Yes mom, except for where I cover the gray. And guess what? I have more gray after that week :) She and I talked and joked a lot about it all, and I will continue to do so because she's my mom and I love her. My father, who never ever has asked for help with anything in his entire life, asked if I'd be able to come and help out in the summer; he's feeling terribly overwhelmed with it all. Of course, it all depends on Brian ... fingers crossed, he's still here then. A girl can wish!
Which takes me to what you're all waiting for: news on Brian, so here it goes:
(I've chosen bullet points because I realize that
our posts (Brian and I), have reached many in the steemit community, and many of you came part way into our story, wondering what this was all about. So I'm going to give a Reader's Digest condensed version of it all. For those of you familiar with it, skip to the last few bullets :)
- Brian was diagnosed with cancer and like most, we tried chemo but it was a terrible experience. Out of that year, there were 10 months of horrible sickness, then one month of hope, excitement, and optimism, a month that made us believe it was working, only to return to square one by the next month, the end of that year.
- His cancer was a self-contained tumor, wrapped around his adrenal gland; a biopsy proved inoperable, for fear of it metastasizing, so our options were to try chemo again (a resounding NO, or live with it). We chose life! The doctors said in about 5 years his other organs would begin to be affected, which is what has happened now.
- At this time, he was also afflicted with horrendous joint pain, from head to toe. We presumed the worse, some sort of bone cancer, but to this day, we have no clear answers as to what it is exactly, but he continually suffers from it. Fluid from his joints were finally sent to the Mayo clinic, but the results returned as unknown crystals (helpful, right? :), so he was put on a high dose of Prednisone, which is a steroid meant for short term use. He's been on it for years, and it of course comes with a host of side effects, including calcium depletion, so now his bones break when most of us would simply shake it off, and his teeth, all but seven, have broken off in his mouth. I kid you not, the last tooth broke eating spaghetti. How I wish that was a joke.
- Financially, it's been beyond difficult, because his tumor chose the adrenal gland as its host, so any stress whatsoever activated it, which led to him having seizures. At the time, he worked for a large franchise and we owned/operated one of the restaurants. Needless to say, we gave them both up and lived off our savings, which evaporated after a few years, during which Brian applied for Provincial Disability, but it was no easy process. We actually had one woman tell him, I'm sorry sir, in her monotone phone voice, but cancer is not a disability.
- During this time, we downsized and eventually bought a large 5th wheel/RV, which we lived in for years. It started off as a cheaper way to live, but in the end, our cement pad in Vancouver had an increase to $2000/month, if you can believe it! Our plan was to do some travelling while he was still healthy, but instead we made our way to Mexico.
- Most of you know our love story, and maybe assumed that I didn't go back to work (I'd been teaching high school before we bought the restaurant) because we wanted to be together. But the fact is, we had to be together; his seizures often left him not breathing, and once I found him in a bath, under water, without a ripple or movement in that tub. I've revived him, given CPR, more times than I can count. So necessity and love has kept us as one. Practically speaking, it has been very difficult; his pension is about $1400/month, so yes, that's what we've been living on. I do have Federally locked in RRSP's (US equivalent to 401K), but I can't access it until I'm 55 years old, two+ more years. There have been times where we've borrowed from family and friends, and one of Brian's friends started a Go Fund Me, and here on Steemit, @davemccoy, when he found out we couldn't afford some medication, started a steemit fundraiser of sorts, and many many many of you joined in. I've had people recently here ask me to post Brian's PayPal account: [email protected] too. Asking for help has never been easy for Brian and I, but throughout our steemit journey, we've both learned that others want to help us, just like we've always helped people in need during our more prosperous times. We are still rendered speechless when we think of it all.
- We finally moved to Mexico because we could simply no longer afford to live on Brian's pension in Vancouver (which is where both our boys live) or the surrounding area. Mexico was always in our Golden Years Plan, but together we decided that life together, in a place that we love, enjoying every moment was worth the move. It was the right decision, however there have been times when our one son in particular needed us, and we were unable to make the journey back because we'd already used our allotted savings to return for Brian's 6 month check-up and necessary time limit to keep our Canadian medical plan active. This whole process has been paved with bits and pieces of guilt, even though I know in my brain, it's out of my control.
- Over this past year, Brian has also developed lumps in all the tell-tale spots of lymph node tumors, and my last post described the more recent changes in his health, like coughing up blood, and the same in his other bodily functions; this continues unfortunately, fairly regularly. So the writing is probably on the wall, but I've been choosing to read it without my glasses on most days :) Like I said earlier, a girl can wish, right?
This post turned out much longer than I originally anticipated, so I'm going to end it there. As usual, Brian and I want to thank all of you for your continued love, support, prayers, positive vibes, checking in on Discord etc.
You've all become our family,
Lots of love,
Brian and Lynn
Brian has been blessed in one thing, for sure, @lynncoyle1... having you as his partner. Please send him my love!
awww @novacadian<3 Thank you!! from both of us :)
A lovely comment, and so true.
Thanks for the update Lynn, my best wishes to you both x
You're welcome Asher, and thank you! I'm dipping my toes back into steemit this week and hope I can keep it up; I've missed it all ... you included :)
So glad that you had a good time with your family, @lynncoyle1. I did a Thanksgiving (sort of) Sunday Supper here and made pumpkin pie, so I thought of you and Brian - a lot.
Sorry to hear about your mum - that is very difficult. And scary. I am sorry.
I am glad, though, to hear that @briancourteau is soldiering on and that you have the visit from your son to look forward to.
Take care, both of you
Fiona
Thank you @fionasfavourites! It's so heartwarming and amazing to know that there are literally people all around the world, rooting for us <3
I shared this post with my husband because I mention you guys from time to time. He's not into this "online thing" at all, bust since I was hacked is very much supportive of the Seemit family. Tom also sends greetings and best wishes to you both.
awww that's sweet! Thank you; hugs to both you and Tom then :)
Followed and upvoted!
Love the photo! 💕💕💕 ...to you both! And warm huggsss!!
Thank you @ackhoo! I love it too; my sister-in-law just happened to snap it at the perfect time <3
Great picture! Upvoted!!
To you both,
This is both extremely saddening and beautiful at the same time. Your love for each other is priceless and I hope you can somehow enjoy every last day. Please except my gift to help you worry and stress less about your finances and relax a little bit more and just be with each other.
Love Brendan xoxo
Oh Brendan, I don't know what to say! Thank you so so so much for your kindness and generosity, from both Brian and myself. I'm at a loss for words, but please know that we will never forget this <3
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Thanks for the update, Lynn. It's lovely that you keep us up-to-date, in spite of having other things on your mind. I'll come back here later with my own account
aww thanks @simplymike! I've found that I've been missing everyone here, so I'm going to try to dabble a bit this week and see how it all goes :)
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So sorry for not reading and commenting.. you are going through such a heart breaking situation... I will pray god for you.
Thank you @dev1993; that means a lot. Brian and I both appreciate you taking the time to read my post, and of course for the prayers <3
I wish some miracle will happen and he will be alright soon.. God is not so cruel... This is not fair.. Love will win for sure...
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Thank you for that! We're hoping for a miracle, but if there's one thing that I've learned in my life, it's that life is not fair, but how we deal with that unfairness is what makes or breaks our characters. Brian and I chose life and love, for however long we have together.
Now... I'm still hoping for a miracle :)
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Thinking of you two often. Such a heartbreaking situation. Prayers, Love, Good Vibes...
.
. Miracles ❤🙏🎶❤🎁 so appreciate the update Lynn. HUGS (i wish i could make it all better)
I'm hoping for a miracle as well @yogajill, and I'm hoping with everyone here hoping for the same, it's entirely possible <3 Thank you! Lots of hugs back ... your comments always make me feel better <3
Beeebeersss 🧡💐🧡💐🧡💐
Hugs!! Laughs😁 laughs & laughs. #smiLe
May you be blessed with more patience & wishing for good health for both of you
@lynncoyle1
Thank you very much @sherbanu <3 We appreciate that!
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@lynncoyle1,
Hey Lynn. Tough post to read ... tough, too, to write.
Respecting your Mom, we'll talk via DM. Alas, I know a lot about the subject. Respecting Brian ... I wish I had something pithy or inspirational to offer. I don't.
I sent @jaynie a DM, requesting a Rally Upvote on Steemitbloggers. I'm not sure if that's how it works but I suspect she'll be in here soon enough anyway.
I'm going to put on my creative QuillFire hat. It's a dangerous endeavor but sometimes worthwhile.
Say Hi to Brian.
Quill
Ah, yes, @quillfire, I am sure you can offer some useful information to @lynncoyle1. And I endorse your suggestion to @jaynie. Ha! I'm slow - she's alread done it. Not that some of us needed much prompting to head over here!
Thank you @quillfire, and yes, it was very difficult to write; exhausting and emotionally draining. But I'm glad I did it. It's interesting, but sometimes I'm beyond thankful for steemit because I've used it as a kind of journal, transcribing my life with Brian over the past year; and he's done the same. I know I'll be happy to have those records.
Thanks for being the bug in jaynie's ear as well :) I appreciate it.
Brian say hi back.
Really glad you had such a good time with your family. Even better your son coming to see you. I don't think we realize how isolated we get when something big like this happens. The bad part is that is when we need the the most.
I can only imagine your head and heart are spinning. It stink's about your mom too. We'll ask for dementia, it is easier to work with. Routines are key. Alzheimer's that is a whole new type of hurt. My grandmother had it. As much as I have people that I wish Karma would bite in the butt, this is not anything I would wish on anyone.
You guys prove one thing about life. That is you do right by others, they will do right by you. You're wonderful people and I think everyone, well almost everyone on the platform knows you or knows about you, which is why they want to help.
On the other side, you're getting when life has you down, it's going to drop the 'People's Elbow' on you (sorry good spot to reference The Rock :D )
You know I'm here if you need me. 💜🐔(the chicken is for Brian)
Thanks @tryskele, I appreciate that, and Brian loved the chicken :)
It's looking like dimentia, so that's good. My parents are still in their farm house and they've talked about moving for years, but we're all thinking that the window of opportunity is quickly closing; it may just be way too confusing for mom to move to a new place now. Hence the help my dad needs.
That's so nice of you to say! I really am continually in awe of all the caring and support here. I've been missing everyone here (you included of course) because it often is my support system and outlet when it's just the two of us ... which as you know, is most of the time.
thank you again for all the love <3
By the way, I love the Rock, in a totally inappropriate way haha Brian and I have a deal; if ever given the opportunity, it would be ok to stray. Me with the Rock, Brian with Jennifer Aniston LOL
Great picture. Love you guys. You are often in my prayers.
Thank you @steven-patrick :) My sister-in-law snapped it at the perfect time. I love it too! and Brian and I both really appreciate all the prayers <3
My thoughts are with you both. Enjoy all of the good moments!
Thank you @whatsup; we are and will continue doing just that <3
I'm sorry it has continued to progress. We're still praying for healing for Brian and peace for you both. If there's something I can do, please let me know. I'll do my best.
Thank you @themanwithnoname! You really are a great guy :) And with so many prayers and positive thoughts from around this steemit world, anything is possible!
Great to hear that you and Brian had a great Thanksgiving Lynn.
It sounds like you're being pulled three ways you poor girl, make sure you take good care of yourself as well as those around you.
Thank you @livinguktaiwan; I appreciate you saying that. There are times when I just immerse myself in a book and shut everything off for a while, and I swim in our pool a lot. It's the best way for me to unwind and forget everything for a little while ... you'd think I'd have a lot less fat on these bones haha
Life is not what happens to you but how you chose to react to it. Looks like you are living life to the fullest and are an inspiration.
Thank you so much for recognizing that @zekepickleman! That's exactly what Brian and I have done and will continue to do as long as possible. We both appreciate your support <3
This was nice.
Other than that, tough to read, but you guys know the best what feels right for you :) You're definitely BOTH an inspiration for sharing this story here with us.
Thank you @matkodurko! It's all such a heavy, so I try to put a little something lighter at the end :) We appreciate you following us on this journey too!
So much going on for you!! I am glad that you got to see your family and sad that your mom is getting sick. Wishing all of you the best!!
Thank you @mariannewest! It's a lot, for sure, but sometimes life just tests our strength I guess. I hope she's done now though :)
I hope so too!! You certainly are being tested.
Much love to you!
Thank you again Marianne :)
It has been months since I last heard from Brian and Lyn so in my mind I thought something horrible had happened to Brian but blessed be the holy name of the Lord, he is well.
All my prayers to Brian and I love you both.
thank you so very much @ireneblessing!! Brian is hanging in there, and we both appreciate all the prayers from you :)
It's a relieve to be able to hear both your news. Love and prayers as always. Love you guys!
Thank you @joelai! Brian and I really appreciate your love and prayers too! <3
HUGS!!
Dear I know the story but its again making me tear up, everything you two do is everything you want in this stage in life. Again sending My box of hugs Ad love this time by DHL than you can enjoy it first thing tomorrow 😘 And Brian I said it before I have deep respect for the path you choose to take😘
Britt
Hey @brittandjosie! Thank you for the box of hugs and love; they arrived right when I needed them :) and Brian says thank you for that too; many do not understand his chosen path, but those who do, like yourself, really respect it. As do I. Thank you again for your support; it really means a lot <3
Hi dear great to hear from you this early saturday morning. Respect is always the best way to go and by respecting a choice in life its not said to be easier but more easy on the hart of All the people involved, anddddd remember he wont leave you, he Will be right along side of you whenever wherever so be prepared Mr. Coyle is part of you and that Will never Change.
Thanks for telling me I hope others read this too and Will respect some more in this life that would make the steemisfere a whole lot nicer
😘
❤️❤️
😉
Both of you continue to be in our thoughts and prayers 🙏 💙
Thank you so much @thekittygirl! Brian and I appreciate your continued support; keep the prayers coming please <3
Thank you for your time for updating us eventhough you have so much to handle right now.
I pray you will find strength as you strengthen Brian. Sending my love and hugs to you.
💗💕💖
awww @iamjadeline, thank you so much for that! I just think it's only fair, since all of you have joined this journey with us <3 Brian and I really appreciate your love and support, and I'll take virtual hugs any day of the week :)
❤️
Thank you @kaerpediem for your caring, from both of us <3
Thanks for the update, send my love to Brian too !
It's summer in MExico too right now? Or is it not south enough?
It must have felt great to see the family a little, living abroad can be a bitch sometimes, stay strong and proud no matter what...
Much love.
Thank you @edprivat, and Brian says thank you too!
It's still summer here, just a little cooler than a few months ago, although the locals say it's winter and have jeans and hoodies on all the time. I'm still in shorts and tank tops though :)
It was wonderful seeing family, and you're right, it can be a bitch being so far away from them, but this is the right spot for us right now.
that's my goal <3 Thank you again...for everything!
My pleasure it's summer here in South Africa, the heat is just keeping us inside all day :)
Lot's of love to you guys!
We don't "know" each other, but know that there are people thinking about you and hoping with you. Sending hugs from the #steemutblogger family
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Thank you @felt.buzz! Brian and I appreciate that. It's amazing to me to think that people all around the world are rooting for us :)
Are you new (ish?) to steemitbloggers? It's a great little community, isn't it?!
Yes, been on steemitbloggers for a month or so, but actively posting (everyday) on steemit for a year. Whatever happens it seems you and Brian are lucky to have each other enjoy each day, hour, second as much as you can.
Take care
Posted using Partiko Android
❤️❤️
It's really inspirational that you can stay positive despite this awful card you have been dealt. This is the first time I have seen the whole story from you and I can only send my thoughts over to you both.
Thank you so much @nickyhavey. Brian and I both have had our bouts of negativity and this isn't fair tantrums, but truthfully, it's way too draining to think that way. We decided to focus on the good, on what we do have, because I know, many never find what we were lucky to find in each other.
Thank you again <3
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Hi please look into Rick Simpson Oil.
I have heard so many success stories.
thoughts are with you both
Thank you @andre-ager! Actually, Brian has been using it for some time and it's really slowed the seizures down; I also make CBD oil and it cured the tumors in his mouth!
Great photo that shows the absolute love and dedication you 2 share. Once again, amongst the grim reality of your post...I think it also shows us all a world of inspiration. As always, you guys are in my heart. ❤️
Thank you @blewitt; I love that photo too. My sister-in-law snapped it at the perfect time! I'm also glad that our story is inspirational; it kind of lends meaning to the whole thing. Thank you for your continued love and support ... it means a lot to us <3
Glad to hear there are some good times as well. Have you ever heard of the Gerson Institute? A friend of mine went there and was healed completely. If you want to know more pls contact me dm in discord! Blessings
Oh, there are a lot of good times still @claudiaz; every day actually :) And I have heard of the Gerson Institute! I'm so happy for your friend and their recovery, but my friend who went wasn't so lucky, even though she said it was a great place and felt that it gave her longevity. I appreciate the idea though for sure, and of course your continued support and caring <3
you are very welcome @lynncoyle1, and you are right every day is a gift and a reason to be happy, that is why its called "the present"! blessings to both of you!
Love and hugs to you and Brian!
Thank you Roger! from Brian too :) We hope you and Sheila are doing well!
I'm loving these metaphors (or is it euphemisms?, grammar was never my strong point...). I'm starting to think that you will run out of them before anything else!
... but glad that you both are still myopic!
I figure that it's all so heavy, so I have to try and lighten it up at the end a bit! Glad you're enjoying them. And it's metaphors for sure; euphemisms are when you try to make something awful sound a bit better, like he passed away for he died ... ok, poor choice, how about this one ... she's big boned, instead of saying she's fat ? :)
You brought the English teacher out in me there for a second.
Seriously thought @bengy, thank you for your continued support; it really does mean a lot!
Hahaha that's awesome! Love Cartman 😊
Good to know both of you are okay. Sending love and light to both of you.
@roselifecoach, thank you so much for your continued love and support! It really does mean so much to Brian and myself <3
That's the only thing I can do, I wish can be more...
Dear @lynncoyle1 and Brian, I hove no words to say about what you should or you shouldn't do. Maybe you can find Curcuma Zedoaria (White Turmeric) and honey. Some more leaf that you can use also Moringa leaf (Moringa oleifera L), it has high protein, C vit, and it can be use to reduce the pain of the joints, the recent resource by the medic researcher in Gajah Mada University, you can use moringa leaf to treat the cencer. God bless you both my dear friend
Thank you very much @el-nailul; I have heard of both and use tumeric and fresh honey all the time in our tea. I will try to find Moringa leaf though; as I age, my joints are starting to bother me too. As always, Brian and I sincerely appreciate your prayers and support!
My friend @lynncoyle1, you are most welcome, which kind of turmeric you are using for tea?. I hope you can find something useful for both of you in one or another way.
Just regular orange tumeric, but I'm on the hunt for white now too😊 Thank you so much for caring like you do ❤️
So glad to hear you have had time with family, with more family arriving it helps! Take care Lynn
Thank you Joan, I appreciate that! We're both so excited to see our son too, and you're right, it's a huge help in so many ways :)
I agree with @novacadian... Brian is the most luck person in the world, he has you!
awww thank you Dave! I agree haha but I know I'm pretty darn lucky myself!
via GIPHY
Thank you @traciyork! I'm just waiting for a teleporter to give you a hug in person <3
Glad to hear you're safely back in Mexico @lynncoyle1 and that you enjoyed your time with your family.
So sorry to hear about your mum. As if you didn't have enough to handle at the moment. 😢
Thanks for the bullet point story. There was lots in there I didn't know like how long Brian has been sick and that he tried chemo previously, for example.
There certainly has been loads going on here while you have been away. And, I suspect, there is more to come.
Wishing you both a peaceful evening. 💙
Thank you @gillianpearce. There were so many who joined in our story part way, and many like you who just missed bits and pieces along the way, that this seemed the way to go. I'm glad that I too have a journal of this past year, all the details especially. My mind tends to remember things in generalities, so I know I'll be happy to have a record of the good and bad here forever.
Thank you for your continued love and support, from both of us <3
So sorry to hear about your mum, and believe it or not we do like to hear about you too. I'm so glad to hear that you got to go home to your family for a while and the trip was enjoyable. We don't do thanksgiving in Ireland, but I so look forward to Christmas because my brother and sister live the other side of the country and we don't see each other much. I miss them all the time and its so nice to catch up over the holidays.
Send my hugs to Brian, and a big hug to you too xx
Thank you @paulag; I do believe I'm worthy of everyone's interest too :) It's always great to see family, and catch up. There's something so comfortable and fun about it. And Christmas is really just around the corner for you too! :)
Thanks for the hugs, from both of us, and I'm sending a big one your way too <3
You both are beautiful souls, and I'm sending all my love <3 <3 <3
awww @veryspider! Thank you so much, from both of us <3
Good to see you back. And inspired by your positiveness. Having a partner like you can give strength to anyone. Brian and you are fighting hard by keeping positive...that is best way to go.....👍
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Thank you @steemflow! And you're absolutely right; there was a time where Brian and I took turns being negative about it all, and that kind of energy is just ... well, negative :) Regardless of all the bad, there's always good too; we just have to keep our eyes open for it! Thank you again, from both of us.