HI folks! Today I'm going to take you through a step by step tutorial on how to spread complete bullshit using the wonderful medium of memes.
Now you may be wondering why you would want to spread falsehoods across the interweb; but don't worry about that folks, there are quite literally tons of reasons why you would want to lie through memery. Here are just a few:
Highlighting an important cause that you feel isn't getting enough airtime.
A politician you don't like seems to be getting too popular, and you want to stick it to him/her.
You want to add weight to an unproven conspiracy theory that you believe in.
Just for the sheer hell of it.
You enjoy the feeling of putting out a complete lie, that people will one day repeat as truth.
And many, many more!!
So come on folks, let's take a look at the four basic rules of memebullshitia. After learning these sacred tenants you too can add to the growing, festering, digital pile of lies, misinformation, and complete bullshit!
Step One - Use Intelligent Dead People
This is probably the number one tactic of memebullshitia, hence it is the first thing you should remember. Writing stupid words next to intelligent people, make those words seem also intelligent.
This is a valuable trick, and it is the first lesson you should master young bullshitia padewon.
Step Two - Use A Popular Print Publication To Validate Your Claims
Using popular media to substantiate bullshit is a must have weapon in the armory of the memebullshitia artist. People trust credible publications because often that trust has been built up over decades, sometimes centuries. So why not take that trust and use it for your own ends?
Pretty bloody simple if you think about it logically.
Memebullshitia top tip: Try and make your bullshit quote far back in time; making it before the internet began is a brilliant way to confound the fact checkers. Either way it doesn't matter, as few people will ever fact check what's been written in a meme.
Step Three - Use Anonymous Agenda-Specific Professionals Making Ambiguous Statements
This is just common sense if you ask me! Nothing rams home a point down the throats of the deniers harder than a field professional, delivering it to them through sheer meme brutality. This combined with an ambiguous statement, that leaves the reader something to work out, and therefore feel clever, is memebullshitia 10th level stuff.
Just sit back with an umbrella to shield you from all the shit flying round after it has hit the fan.
Step Four - Use Quotation Marks
This little trick is subtle yet devastatingly effective. You might be thinking; hang on a sec, I'm already using the name of a much loved, defunkt publication from before the internet age; why the overkill?!
Well my little padewon, quotation marks are your cognitive lockpick; they allow you to hack into the brains of your readers and force them to believe what you have written is true. Everybody understands quotation marks mean the person actually said those things!
WARNING!!!Ignore this at your peril! Don't get called on your bullshit!!
Lesson Complete
Of course there are many steps to enlightenment and becoming a true memebullshita master; however these are the fundamental principles of bullshitting via memery.
Go; go now! Go and practise your art; the people must know, they must be deceived!!!
Go Forth Now My Brothers And Sisters!!! And Prey Tell Of Your Own Memebullshitia Experiences Below!!!
Till Next Time
Cryptogee
One summer, Miley Cyrus saw a young boy crying.
Miley asked "What's wrong?"
"The other kids are bullying me by throwing cherries at me", the boy responded.
"Never let anybody bully you or hold you down, kid. You go pick up a hatchet and you cut down every cherry tree in sight, I believe in you, and you can be anything you want to be in life", Miley told the boy.
That boy grew up to be George Washington.
#inspiration
(Also Re-Steemed, by the way.)
Like Abe Lincoln said: "Don't believe everything you see on the internet!"
+2 for using an apocryphal story about washington!
Thanks! Now let me just google apocr.. apocryphal..
Great word! TIL!
Miley will always be an inspiration to me :-)
Cg
Step three type bullshit memes are a pet peeve of mine. I'm stunned how many people fall for them, and at the same time it's interesting how much a picture of a random professional-looking person and a fancy quote next to it can achieve.
There is also another type of bullshit infomeme which is similar to step three type memes. It has (multiple) ambiguous statements with no sources, but uses just random pictures instead of an ambiguous professional. It seems to be fallen out of fashion a bit, but I used to come across them frequently a couple years ago.
Here's a good example by US Uncut FB page:
(I haven't checked if any of these statements are true or not, but honestly I couldn't care less.)
But anyways, excellent post, resteemed and followed.
Yeah that's a classic, throw ambiguous statements together to add to their power; not. :-)
Cg
Many years ago, when I was still at facebook, I go the idea to combine real quotes with contrasting images and fonts. I left Facebook before really getting the thing up and running, so all I have is this fine quote by the early serial killer Carl Panzram
"I never killed anybody"
Charles Manson
Great, @cryptogee. This is one of the best reads I've had all week. :)
Haha, cool glad you like :-)
Cg
Gandalf said,"trust in your senses young skywalker, for you are the boy who lived and we must prepare for battle against the Klingon's army!
#TrueStory
Lolzapalooza! :-)
Cg
Mission accomplished! Win!
1000 points!
Cg?
Cg is my signoff :-)
Cg
lol cool I get it now
Bc
I remember watching an interview on London Real where a dude claimed that Tesla believed "Earth is not a planet, but a realm". Seeing as I can't find any reliable source for the quote, I tend to think that the guy got it from a meme. The method works!
That is one killer meme! It is mad that people don't look at them a bit more critically. Though I have been caught out in the past, so can't claim the complete high ground on this one :-)
Cg
Oh yeah, the quote marks thing, it really does work on people!!
Thank you - usefully!