Memoir
/ˈmemˌwär/ noun. a record of events written by a person having intimate knowledge of them and based on personal observation. Usually memoirs. an account of one's personal life and experiences; autobiography. the published record of the proceedings of a group or organization, as of a learned society.
For those who missed the inaugural post explaining what the Memoir Monday initiative is all about you can find it here.
This week’s Memoir Monday question:
What advice would you give to future generations of your family?
My answer:
I have no idea how much the world has changed since I’ve written this. Humanity is struggling with more than a few challenges in our present time (2024) – political divisiveness, disinformation, artificial intelligence, corporatism, war, and the list goes on. I fear we’ve likely left you with a bit of a mess and I’m truly sorry about that. We’re just a few years from the advent of artificial general intelligence and no one knows how that will turn out or what impact it will have on humanity. Will it be utopian or dystopian? My guess is it will be a little of both.
It's often said that, “people get the leaders they deserve” but I don’t think a majority of common people from our present time are inherently bad or particularly deserving of the mess that society is in now. I think decades of misplaced trust in elected officials, divisive social media algorithms, and our own collective apathy have brought us here. I sincerely hope, in your time, leaders are more in line with the will of the people and things are better, overall. I’m sure many of the fundamentals have remained the same in the future.
The first thing I want to tell you is you come from a long line of very tough and resourceful people. These people have found creative ways to survive and thrive in some of the harshest environments you can imagine.
The Waltons were among the first Europeans to set foot on this continent, escaping religious persecution from the Church of England, they were Quakers. According to legend, four Walton brothers sailed from England to the colonies in the late 1600's. Below is a photo of the death certificate for one of the original Walton brothers’ descendants.
The Fmura’s, my maternal relatives, were equally as resourceful. My great-grandfather, Taras Fmura, come to America through Ellis Island alone from Russia in the late 1800’s at the age of eighteen.
Here's a little advice I’ve learned from fifty-two years on this crazy and beautiful planet, I hope you can use some or all of this as a shortcut in your own life:
Be an enthusiast of life. By this I mean at as young of an age as possible notice what captures your interest, things you really enjoy doing, things that make you lose track of time. Develop these interests into a lifelong career. Learn everything you can about them and practice them religiously. You’ll never be perfect but you can always be better. Don’t be afraid to fail or reinvent yourself, if you’re successful in life you’ll do both of these things more than once.
Learn how to meditate and practice regularly. I wrote a book about this and it might still be in print. Keep your body fit and healthy. Develop an exercise routine when you’re young and it’ll pay infinite dividends. Chose physical activities you enjoy so you don’t dread it. Feed yourself with as many optimistic things as you can and laugh often. You’ll have some very tough days but know those difficulties won’t last forever if you make good choices. Life will be much shorter and longer than you think. I know this sounds confusing but you’ll understand this in due time.
Don’t live beyond your means, work hard not to get into debt. If you have no choice but to get into debt get out as soon as you can. Debt is the enemy of true freedom. Start saving money as early as you can so you can use the advantage of time and compound interest. Use this money to build an economic engine that will make you more money. This way, your money will multiply many times over 24/7/365 and will be working for you instead of you working for it. Think of personal debt as a shackle.
As I said before, don’t be afraid to try things and fail. Nothing valuable in life is gained by being risk-averse. Develop an entrepreneurial mindset and several streams of income. Working for others is okay but never believe you’re indispensable to them and always have a side income. Except for a few rare cases, employers rarely have your best interest in mind. Remember, no one has life figured out, everyone on Earth is winging it and some people are just better actors.
Keep your promises as often as you can. Be on time, being late is a sign of disrespect. Give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. Be as kind as you can be, everyone is struggling in one way or another. Make reading a habit, develop a passion for self-directed learning. The entirety of the world’s knowledge is within reach in seconds. Challenge yourself intellectually and you will develop a thirst for knowledge. Learn to crave the excitement of being out of your comfort zone, you begin by regularly attempting small things that scare you. A university degree is good if someone else pays for it but it’s not worth going into debt for. Paying back student loans will make it more difficult for you to amass the money for that economic engine I mentioned and will make it infinitely harder to attain freedom.
Be very choosy about the company you keep. If someone fills you with positive energy and laughter you’d better keep them around. If people around you are habitually — in trouble, in need of help, chaos, drama, sad, or negative and don’t show any interest in getting better you must leave them behind if you want a happy, fulfilling life. You can’t change people or even help them if they aren’t interested in learning their lessons. They will only drag you down and bring you misery. The only person you can change is yourself, then you change the world by proxy. Oh, and be especially weary of charisma. Charismatic individuals usually have agendas that won’t turn out good for you. Often they are sociopaths who are like blackholes, gobbling up anyone in their vicinity.
Value making memories over acquiring things. I assure you travel is the best education and investment because it’s an insurance policy against cynicism and bigotry. As you get older you’ll see that cynicism will constantly be knocking on your door, try not let it in. During your travels you’ll learn much about yourself and the world. You won’t be as easily manipulated by the media or those in power. You’ll know first-hand that people who live and think differently from you aren’t inherently bad and realize there’s no shortage of beauty and kindness. Transform your home into a place of warmth, simplicity, and peace that you and your family can retreat from the harshness and chaos of the world.
Last but not least, I’d like to mention your superpower. If you remember nothing else from this remember these next few sentences. No two people see the world in the exact same way. We’re all like self-contained micro-universes that exist on a slightly different wavelength or in a different dimension. This can be pretty damned frustrating when you’re trying to agree with someone about something like what to have for dinner, but it also makes life superbly interesting. Unabashedly being yourself (owning your own unique dimension, perspective, and/or personality) and reflecting it out into the world is your superpower.
Do all or some of these things, and chances are, you’ll be a happier and more successful human in the long run. I wish I could talk to you face-to-face and experience life in your time but, unfortunately, this is a one-sided conversation. Just remember, whatever challenges life throws at you you must find a way to stay hopeful a keep the flame of optimism alive. Hope will see you through to the next day's dawn when absolutely all else fails you. Be well, be kind, and know you are loved. You only get one life and lots of those who came before you have made significant sacrifices so you could have this opportunity, try your best to make the most of it.
Rules for Participation
- Please reblog this first post and share on other social platforms so we cast the widest net possible for this initiative;
- Pictures paint a thousand words. Include pictures in your posts if you have them;
- Answer each Memoir Monday prompt question in your own post. The prompt question will be published each Monday but you'll have the entire week to answer and publish your own post; and
- Lastly, be sure to include the tag #memoirmonday.
It's as simple as that!
At the end of this next twelve months we'll have created something immensely valuable together. It's so important to know our "whys" in life and there's no better way to do that than this.
Someday all that will be left of our existence are memories of us, our deeds, and words. It's up to you to leave as rich of a heritage as possible for future generations to learn from. So, go ahead, tell your stories. I can't wait to read them.
Enjoy the day. I want to sincerely thank all of the participants thus far. I've really enjoy reading your posts!
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YES! To all of this, so so behind everything you said here.
I wish more families focused on this, on where one comes from. There's so much strength that gets lost, I feel, in forgetting our "tribe".
I'm very intrigued by your maternal ancestors - it's a very unusual Russian name. I looked it up (sorry, I was curious!) and found a Starokonstantinov in modern-day Ukraine. Obviously Russia at the time. It does seem closer to modern-day Ukrainian names, but maybe I'm completely off here?
Okay, weird curiosity over. Really love everything you said here! And will definitely be contributing this week.:) Hope you're having a great weekend, Eric!
I feel like this is especially an issue in America because, so often, the genealogical trail goes cold just a few generations back. Also, the phrase "easy times make weak men/people" is so true.
You have to be right about the town. I can't tell you how happy I am you've deciphered the town Taras came from! This has been a family mystery for years because we couldn't find anything about it. We just figured it was a clerical error made by the census taker. His surname was something completely different before he came to America -- Prostopunik or something close to that (I'll have to dig up the document that has his surname listed). We have no clue why it was changed to Fmura. We originally thought it was changed by Ellis Island staff because there's always been the rumor that they would change people's names when they couldn't communicate with the people they were processing but I've learned recently that this rumor was untrue. Many of the people coming to America wanted a fresh start and chose different names themselves, which seems odd to me. Maybe some were running from something or just didn't want to be found?
Thank you @honeydue! I really appreciate your help here, a new piece to the puzzle was revealed. I hope you have a wonderful week and I'm looking forward to your contribution to Memoir Monday!
It does seem strange! I know I've heard it said about Asian immigrants, for instance, that they changed their names so it would be easier to integrate in a new community since their real names would be difficult to pronounce (as I'm sure would be the case for Slavic names, also) and would contribute to that sentiment of "othering".
My pleasure. Hope it's the right one - it was literally the first thing that came up on Google, so can't take too much credit for it :D
You're likely right, they probably were trying to choose names that would make them more likely to be accepted and assimilate. That's so opposite of how protective we are of our racial/national identities now.
Funny! I have no idea why finding the town online was so difficult for us? I even had a Russian friend of mine (who lives here) try to help and he thought it was a clerical error. I wonder if Google search results are somehow different in America? Time to turn on that VPN and find out. : )
I am impressed that you can trace your family's origins back to the year 1600. In my culture we give almost no importance to historical memory. Most of us go as far back in time as our grandparents or great-grandparents. Very few can talk about the origins of their families, going back more than 80 or 100 years.
Today's world is really complicated, when I was born in the middle of the 20th century everything was simpler, the future was provisional, but my granddaughters are facing conditions that can be difficult.
I see that in your publication you insist a lot on talking about values, about coexistence. I also believe that this is important.
I will keep an eye on your publication. Thank you for the initiative, dear @ericvancewalton . A big hug from Maracay.
Note: I use translator, my native language is Spanish.
Yes, the first four Walton brothers sailed from England to the Colonies in 1682 aboard a ship called the Welcome.
It was simpler when I was raised in the 1970s too. I'm not sure if it was easier or not here. I didn't always notice the struggles my parents were going through when I was younger.
I really appreciate your participation! Thank you!
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When I read this yesterday, I paused and I cried. It was too resourceful. All of the things you share here are true. Life has dealt me so many blows that I have come to understand them as I go.
Is it reinventing oneself? I first learned about its importance when I read the 48 Laws of Power and I can say for a fact that book changed my life. Failing and reinventing oneself will always happen if we are planning to be successful. The best part is that I began to notice a pattern. That is, when we fail, we do not lose as much as we thought we did initially. Why? The lessons gained will always be useful for the next phase of our lives.
Learning how money works came later in my life and I am grateful first to George Samuel Clason, Secondly to Robert Kiyosaki, thirdly, to the Leofinace community, and finally to Morgan Housel. Every tiny bit and piece of stuff I learn about money is linked to these aforementioned people and places. And while I have stumbled and failed a couple of times, financially, I have not lost hope. I will use all the accumulated knowledge to build again, that is for sure.
Surely, reading is the best thing that has happened to me. I will forever be grateful to Mom for pushing me in that direction.
About the company we keep, Robert Greene made me realize that there is no use keeping negative people around because they will drown us in their sadness. A shackle we might never come out from. I will always remember his words;
Please, let me stop here because if I want to comment on everything you are saying to your child, it will become a full post. I hope he gets to read this. I have lived through some of them, and I am hoping to live some more since I am still very young. I will always be grateful to the Almighty for the early exposure.
Please, expect my entry for this week's memoir Monday. All the best. Have a great week
Thank you Iska. It sounds like you're on a wonderful path. The secrets and shortcuts to a happy, successful life can be found in books like the ones you're reading. It's a shame more people don't take advantage of that knowledge. I'll be looking forward to your contribution to Memoir Monday!
Good morning @ericvancewalton. I find it very motivating to do this work of family memory, because much of what we are has its roots in the culture and family where we have developed.
I am pleasantly surprised how you treasure and value your family history having those old documents, I do not know much of my family lineage, however, I have collected something and I hope to share it in these proposals to which you invite us to participate.
Greetings and have a great day.
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
My brother and I have put many hours of research into our genealogy. We took a genetic test (23andMe) a decade or so ago and the result contradicted who/what we thought we were based on oral family stories. This is what caused us to start researching. Ancestry.com has a lot of free records available online and this is how we got access to a lot of the documents. Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful week!
If only there were more who think like you Eric, this world would be a better place!
I 100% agree with every piece of advice you give here, the stand-out for me personally is:
Making memories is something that enriches our lives forever, and can never be taken away from us! People place so much value on acquiring material things but that of course just puts one on a temporary high.
I find genealogy fascinating, yours is really interesting! It is such a pity that we do not keep record of family history when the older generation is still young, as memories fade, and they pass on hearsay, but at least one can then get a record of important happenings in their lifetime.
My son also did a DNA test and found the closest match is a lady from Texas, definitely related to hubby's grandfather. Dean still has to contact her (she fortunately chose that option, and shared her photo as well) I'm looking forward to that, but he's way too busy with work and discovering the new country they find themselves in!
Thank you for a thought-provoking topic, it's been a crazy couple of weeks with municipal strikes, all bnb's lowering their rates because of service-delivery failures in our city, but thankfully we ended up with good bookings again so I can heave a sigh of relief! Maintaining a big property can be costly, and my little side-hustle helps with that. (one of your pieces of advice which is vital) - never put all one's eggs into one basket they say, and it is so true!
It really feels like more people are waking up, hopefully it's enough to change the world before it's too late.
We made some good progress on our family tree. The details of the Walton side get a bit murky before England but as best we can determine two brothers fled Spain during the Inquisition (they were Jewish), landed and settled in Ireland, then the next generation(s) moved to England and settled in the London area (23andMe backs this up). I find it interesting that our family fled persecution twice but I guess that's how the world was back then.
You're welcome! I'm enjoying this more than any other initiative I've ever launched on Hive. It will make for a great year of writing.
I'm glad to hear your bookings picked up! Do utilities go out often in your area?
It is time to learn technology and it will benefit people to earn money in an easy way.
Don't live beyond your means,
work hard to stay out of debt...
These are words that are very inspiring for me. I really agree. Debt is a source of destruction and makes life uncomfortable. Have a nice day, Eric.
I don't think you can truly be free unless you are also free of debt. Thank you Eliana! Enjoy your week.
One thing I have come to discover is one should be an integrity of time and words. We should always keep to our promises to people just as you said and not only that but also make wise use of time
That is some awesomely sound advice. The crappy thing is, most people don't want to hear it when the time is prime for you to give it to them. I can see how getting it written down might make a difference. I just know every time I try to pass on some serious tidbits to my nieces and nephews they just kind of roll they eyes and laugh at me! :)
Thanks, my friend. Yeah, people have to be receptive before advice is any good. It's strange how most people are more receptive to the advice of a stranger than of someone they're close to. It's so painful to watch people make mistakes/ bad decisions sometimes. I know that eye roll well! Lol.
Yes, strangers or they wait until it is too late and the people close to them are gone. That's why I think it is good you are getting this down in writing. It might still be a resource to those people in the future.
I would say time is priceless and don't waste it in vain.
Another week of sharing beautiful memories. I hope to be a part of this.
I'll be looking forward to your entry!
How are you dear friend @ericvancewalton good afternoon
I loved this week's prefunct, it will be very interesting to talk about it
What an excellent recommendation.
Don't be afraid to fail or reinvent yourself, if you are successful in life you will do both more than once.
I take this opportunity to wish you a happy start to the week.
All is well, my friend. We're getting pummeled by a snowstorm through Tuesday but this really does look like the last of the snow. Thanks and I hope you have an excellent week as well!
Very thoughtful advice!
Thanks!
My entry;
https://ecency.com/hive-161155/@edith-4angelseu/echoes-of-wisdom
Today we see children who are less respectful of elders and always saying that we are wiser and times have changed but we should not forget that the older one is. The more experienced it is, the better it is. Today's youth should respect their elders, otherwise they will never succeed.
True!
Thanks alot dear.
Sharing on Twitter.
Wow beautiful set of words,
I would love to participate but I have no such deep advice rather seeking one, it's just couple of years post college and it's been a roller coster journey. thank you for your sane words.
Sometimes I look at our families members and one of the things I am really grateful of them is the fact that their eye really opened to a lot of things at the early stage of the importance of taking responsibilities. I will love the future generations to also apply this
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