A Dedication
My dad, how can I best explain him? An original...yes, that’s it.
When we were younger he was never afraid to be silly. Hogan’s Heroes would come on the television and he would do this crazy march to the theme song. He could also whistle the theme to the Andy Griffith show almost flawlessly.
He taught me how to work on bikes at six years of age, and fix cars at age thirteen. He taught me to shoot a rifle, throw a baseball, and a punch. I still remember the day he showed me how to tie a necktie. He also taught me to never take life too seriously. We had an immense amount of fun growing up.
The list of useful lessons he taught me could go on and on but among the most important things he impressed upon me was to never be afraid to take chances, to always do my best, be honorable, and to always try to do the right thing.
Dad was like superman to me when I was a boy. He was strong and refused to take anything from anyone. He would do anything for those people he liked but watch out if you fell on the other side of that spectrum.
It wasn’t until I got a little older than I learned of his tough and horrific childhood. My grandfather died when my dad was three years old. My grandmother tried her best to raise him and his other three siblings as a single mother. Times were different in the 1940's and my grandmother came to the realization that she couldn’t raise her children alone. As a result, my father and his older sister were placed into the foster care system.
During those years my dad suffered a lot of abuse at the hands of some of his foster parents. He tells stories of how he had to keep the coal furnace of his foster parents' home fired at night and was beaten if he fell asleep and let it go out.
To this day he has no ill feelings towards his mother. He understands that she did her best to raise him. They remained close until my grandmother’s death.
Despite the challenges my father went on to have a successful life. He always had a decent job, bought a house, and raised a family. What amazes me most about my dad is he survived it all with a great kindness still intact. He would do anything for the people he cares about. Still, the challenges of his childhood didn’t leave him unscathed. He’s suffered from horrible bouts of depression throughout his entire life.
Announcement
According to the World Health Organization, worldwide, around 50 million people have dementia, and there are nearly 10 million new cases every year. Alzheimer's disease is the most common form of dementia and may contribute to 60–70% of cases.
Those who’ve been reading my blog for a while might remember my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease about three-and-a-half years ago. Over this past year, mainly through video calls because of coronavirus, I’ve watched his condition rapidly deteriorate.
He still recognizes my brother and I but no longer knows who my mother is most of the time and is suffering from frequent hallucinations.
Because of his great impact on my life I’ve decided to dedicate my next book, MindFul Moments, to my father. I’ve also decided to donate 10% of the net proceeds of the book sales to The Alzheimer’s Association.
I dedicate this book to my father, Verlo Victor Walton, the man who taught me to be a man. Someone who has gone through unspeakable challenges in his life and survived with kindness still dwelling in his heart. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I will always remember our time together on this Earth.
I can tell you firsthand, Alzheimer’s is an unspeakably cruel disease. It not only robs people of their memories but of their identities and dignity. We must find a way to fight it with all of the resources at our disposal. This disease forces the victim’s loved ones to say a very long and painful goodbye, watching the person they know and love fade away, little by little...day by day.
If everything works out as planned, I want to surprise my dad with a copy of Mindful Moments when I go to visit him in early November.
A Small Request
Do me a favor.
Stop whatever you're doing. Reach out to an older relative today that you haven’t talked to for a while.
Give them the gift of a few minutes out of your day, let them know they still matter to you while you still can.
None of us know what will happen tomorrow. Try to enjoy each of the moments that remain.
This one small act could mean all the difference in the world to them (and to you).
With Gratitude,
Eric Vance Walton
(All pictures are original.)
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Sounds like he is a really great guy. My grandma had a bit of dementia before she passed several years ago. I went to see her towards the end and she recognized my face but thought I was my grandpa from years ago. She called me his name instead of mine. That is awesome that you are donating some of the proceeds. Every little bit makes a difference!
Thanks, he is. It's such a weird disease. From the conversations I've had with him it sounds like his thought process is almost like a radio that's stuck between two stations. He's getting bits and pieces of the current reality but it's all muddled with memories of the past and things he's recently watched on television or even a conversation that he overheard a few minutes ago. He misplaces things and believes there are children taking the things he misplaces. It all seems so real to him.
That is scary. It is crazy how little we still understand about the human body even after all these years.
Sure is! Thanks for the comments, Bozz!
I feel that this is the best way to live life, to relax about it, to enjoy it, to overcome the bad things that come ahead.
What a pity that your father suffers from this disease, i understand your pain, my grandparents on my mother's side are suffering from this too and it is very difficult to see how they forget everything little by little... it reminds me of one of my favorite movies ¨The notebook¨.
I hope he doesn't suffer too much, and have a good day.
Thank you @tripode! I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents. The Notebook was an excellent (but sad) movie.
Well... i wouldn't say it's sad... i say it has a realistic touch and give me the hope to have a love like they had, till the death appart them.
Already this post is a beautiful tribute, a beautiful dedication to your father, Eric. I'm so excited about this post, I'm crying. I know how important parents are, especially good ones, to make good people. My father also left me a huge legacy and hands full of love, before he died. Even though he may forget you, it is nice that you remind him of all the nice things he did for you. Hugs and greetings, amigo
Thank you @nancybriti! The memories they leave us with are a excellent legacy. I consider myself very lucky to have two loving parents. Not everyone in the world is that lucky. Thanks again for your kind words and enjoy the rest of your week!
Hello dear friend @ericvancewalton good evening
I am deeply sorry for your father's illness, and how things are going lately
I really appreciate the advice to communicate with the people we love, it is true that no one has bought life and we never know what may happen tomorrow.
I have an anecdote about it, my father was very different from yours, he was not a bad person, he had two defects that made him an ogre
He was very jealous of my mother, that sickly jealousy, on weekends he liked to have a glass of gin, this made him hallucinate and turned him into a beater, it was the reason for my mother to separate when I was 8 years old.
When I was 21 years old, he made me call because he wanted to apologize for what he did, as you know at that age one takes the world ahead, after several years I regretted not having come to his call, when I did it already had passed away
What weighs on me is that I did not give him the opportunity to apologize and say many things that I would have liked to say
Life is as you say, nobody knows what will happen tomorrow
What a beautiful tribute you do to your father, without a doubt he will be very proud of you
have a wonderful night and a happy rest dear friend
Thank you, my friend. It's been such a tough year.
I'm very sorry to hear about your father! Try not to blame yourself too much for not being eager to meet with him. It takes people different amounts of time to heal and forgive. You must not have been quite ready yet.
Take care of yourself and have a good rest of the week!
Whatever stripes one of their memory is a terrible thing if you ask me. Alzheimer’s disease is something I'm not really familiar with but then seems your dad has been a fighter and hopefully he won't get all worse to the extent of losing every memory. You have a vivid memory of him and everything and it's quite cruel he's having to go all through this.
Thanks! Yes, it's been horrible to watch him slowly lose his memories, identity, and personality. The memory of him will surely remain in those who love him. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Maybe after everything with the Corona you can go be with him and well keep also keeping the memory alive. He's been a strong man from everything you've narrated
I plan on visiting him in about a month. I hope to be able to give him a copy of the book once it's done. Alzheimer's is, sadly, a degenerative disease though. It will only get worse from here. We plan to enjoy all the moments we have left.
Oh goodness me! Well I hope you get to have longer moments to spend with him. It's so saddening
Thank you @josediccus!
I think it's amazing that your Dad did not become bitter after being ill-treated like that as a child, sounds like you had a wonderful childhood! Dedicating the book to your Dad is a great tribute to this special man.
I really like his snazzy boots;)
You are so right, Alzheimer's must be one of the most cruel diseases! I've known a couple of people who had brilliant minds, become afflicted with this. Families end up losing the person they loved twice; firstly to the disease and then when they die; it is terribly sad!
Thank you for the reminder to spend more time with our older folk!
Thanks, Lizelle! I've marveled at how he didn't let his experiences turn bitter myself. My brother and I did have a decent childhood. Looking back, the best part is they let us make our own mistakes and find our own paths. I see so many people who, as adults, are afraid they're going to make mistakes so they're hesitant to try anything new.
He's always made sure to shine his boots/shoes, he spends hours on them. : )
It certainly is cruel. I'm going to try to make it down there once in October and again in November. It's nearly a thousand mile drive but I'll break it up into two days. Too bad it's not safer to fly, that would make things a whole lot easier.
Thanks for your comment and I hope you're having a great week!
That's the best thing they could ever do for you; my parents were the same, let us make our own choices and made us believe that anything is possible if you set your mind to it!
Ever thought you'd be saying this in the year 2020?
A road trip can actually be a really nice experience when you take it slow and take in the countryside!
It must be terribly difficult for your Mom!
Good morning! Yes, who would have thought?! This year has turned reality upside down hasn't it? I don't mind road trips but this one will be grueling. Since I'm staying with my parents when I get there I'll probably have to drive straight through. It's 15 or so hours and used to do this regularly when I was younger but I have a feeling it'll be a little more difficult at my age now.
It certainly has been tough on my Mom. She's exhausted most of the time but doesn't feel it's quite time for a memory care facility yet. My brother and I don't always agree but told her that we'll support her wishes. We're looking at getting some kind of social worker to make regular visits to access the situation but it's unclear if the Veterans Administration offers this kind of support for Alzheimer's patients. We're trying to get to the bottom of that now.
I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week!
This was a great read and beautiful tribute @ericvancewalton, God bless your father. Thank you @lizelle.
Thank you @dandays, I really appreciate it!