The Self-Defeating Voice You Should Defeat.

in #motivation7 years ago

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You can't do it.

Now you've fucked everything up.

You're a bad person.

No wonder people think you're weird.

You'll never be good enough.

I am sure many of you have heard these little fuckers. They throw a wrench in your mood, your plans, and your motivation. Ironically, they tend to pop up most when you start to feel content, happy, and excited about the future. Why? They are your survival mechanisms, and they don't want you getting too goddamned relaxed now that things are going well.


I was watching an interview/conversation a couple of days ago between Vayner Media's Gary Vaynerchuk and multi-millionaire, world famous motivational speaker and businessman Tony Robbins. It was a great interview. Something Robbins said really jumped out at me. He said something like Look, we have a 200 million year old brain trained to look for potential bad things that could happen in order to help us survive.

This functionality is especially pronounced in those who have been abused, are extremely empathic, or traumatized. Your brain is trained to look for the potential bad things that might happen because in the past they have happened. Your brain is trying to protect you, but there comes a point where this functionality can go haywire and become counterproductive resulting in neurosis, phobias, compulsive behaviors, worrying, and obsessions. In most cases our physiology reacts to a stressor as if it were an ACTUAL LION in the room with us.

Now, granted, there is an ominous cloud of dread floating around (especially in highly conscious groups of individuals) about the state--the government--and the murders, abuses, kidnapping, rape and slaughter perpetrated by this entity daily, and that shit adds up. ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO ARE WELL-READ and well-versed in history. Even here, though, the fear can become paralyzing and counterproductive if not transmuted into anger, action, intention, or purpose.

So how do I combat these huge feelings of dread--both state and un-state-related--when they hit me?


I don't know. I really do not think there is a one-size-fits-all answer. Talking to someone who can understand definitely helps, even if you think your worries, feelings, or concerns are invalid or irrational. Feel your feelings, and don't run away from them. Take action directly into them, and ultimately...and always...

Keep moving.

(And sometimes "keep moving" means slowing down and getting back in touch with yourself)

BUT ALWAYS...

Keep pushing forward and KEEP FUCKING MOVING, HOMEY!!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!

~KafkA

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Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)

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I"m in Japan too! Near Tokyo. Good article - I've always been the defiant one about norms and society in general, always questioning, never just accepting, making my own path. Following.

Fear is a survival mechanism, in a world where we don't survive anymore. I find confronting myself about how I'm feeling and repeating the mantra of Apocalypto, "Fear is sickness. It will crawl into the soul of everyone who engages it."

Thanks for this. Following you now!

I don't know. I really do not think there is a one-size-fits-all answer. Talking to someone who can understand definitely helps, even if you think your worries, feelings, or concerns are invalid or irrational. Feel your feelings, and don't run away from them. Take action directly into them, and ultimately...and always...

I really like this part, it makes me motivated and understand, this is a very good warning

Interesting post, thank you for sharing! Just this week I was reading the book 'The untrue story of you' written by Bryan Hubbard. He states that negative thoughts and emotions are unfinished events that have occured to you in the past and re-occur in the present as long as it isn't finished to you. A way of protecting yourself, but also limiting your growth and limiting living your potential as well. This to me makes a lot of sense

Questioning your emotional states is one way to go about it. When you're feeling crappy, acknowledging that your crappy emotional state is not the state of the world, but a response to the thoughts that you're thinking, helps diffuse it and even let it go. Of course, some people may find it impossible to let go of fear or anxiety while others may do it almost instantly. We all have different weak spots, so it's good to have a wide arsenal of mental and emotional exercises and releasing techniques.

Sedona Method is one that is simple and amazing and I have seen it help people with phobias, anger issues and even chronic depression.

So true. What we are thinking dictates our emotive state.

Sharing your feeling with other can help, But in Asian countries we do not have professional help like the western countries have, here we rely on our close relationships @kafkanarchy84

I am in an Asian country. I also rely on my close relationships :) I agree, though, that many people in Western countries are too dependent on people with "certifications" and actually very lonely due to the culture and lifestyle.

When I said "sharing your feelings with others" I did not mean only doing so with professionals, but with friends, family, and people we care for and trust.

Yes. It feels like we are being encouraged to disconnect from personal relationships and to connect more with online "friends." Thank you for posting this.

I alway felt that action is the best way to defeat self doubt in my life.

Didn't even know, that our brains are " trained to look for the potential bad things that might happen because in the past they have happened."
Nice thing to know.

"Keep moving.
(And sometimes "keep moving" means slowing down and getting back in touch with yourself)

BUT ALWAYS...

Keep pushing forward and KEEP FUCKING MOVING, HOMEY!!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!"

very nice bars =D

Don't know where i picked it up but what helped me is to realize this: Fear is misuse of imagination. Cause who are you to know what the future looks like? Just stay focussed and rather think "I will do this easily"
We gonna get through it all :)
Cheers

Very inspirational words and advice. Will follow for more content, thanks!

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True talk! Doubt is the mother of hypocrisy. We gotta keep moving and when we start feeling down, we have to be down with a up attitude.

"The biggest enemy is yourself" - This is so true! Thank you for your motivational post! Followed you!

This picture really helps me when I am afraid of doing something:
https://steemit.com/motivation/@theaustrianguy/the-single-most-motivating-picture-i-have-ever-seen-and-how-it-even-can-be-related-to-todays-cryptocurreny-crash
Did you know it?

I like to call that negative thinking the "shitty commitee ". But I dont believe you can think your way out of it , its best to act your way into good thinking , not think your way into good action .
And thats why your "keep moving " montra works . Stay in action , keep moving . Mental masterbation is not the way , the grouch and the brainstorm is not for us !

WELL SAID!!!!

That is a great mental state to put ourselfs into, to use action as a force to drive a different higher vibration than what is holding us back. A saying form Albert Eintstein rings a bell in my head when I read what you wrote: "we cannot think our selves out of a problem with the same thinking that created the problem" ..thanks for the reminder! Following and upvoted both of you! @teslagreenhawk

Thank you, @teslagreenhawk (excellent user name, by the way), for this excellent comment. Followed back!

I HAVE A FUKING CHOIR IN MY HEAD! LOL

About six months ago I was critically ill and my convalescence was so draining; while lying in bed I suddenly heard this voice saying : get up and move because if you don't do it - no-one can do it for you! Keep moving peeps. Love Ant Robins

Good points! I was raised in an Asian country and can relate to this well having gone through and still going through the challenges of fighting the inner voice in me that pulls me back!

Very interesting thanks for sharing

Stressors can triggers negatives thoughts when we're having difficulty managing them. Stressors can deplete our self-respect which causes an increase in hostility and anxiety in us. If we can learn to recognize that the reptilian part of our brain response with fight and flight or "get into survivor mode", we can learn better how to manage the situation.

Thanks for sharing this!

thanks enjoyed reading the post

Great post! We all have those beliefs and thoughts about ourselves that keep us from doing the things that we want or from being happy. If you can conquer those fears, you find that many goals are achievable. Appreciate the information. I think it will help many to begin looking deeper. @jbcoin

This is how I felt today when I woke up.

A funny monkey

nice monkey. I need one for my girlfriend lol

The hardest battle is always against your own mind. It will constantly tell you that you can't do this or that.

Super good article. Keep it up

powerful!
I'm very much like that, constantly beating myself down and panicing for no reason.
Lol. I regularly have nightmares about spiders! My mind is messed up :S

Hello again @kafkanarchy84! Thanks for posting this. Gary Vaynerchuk cracks me up! I listened to his audiobook "Crush It". It was pretty good. I agree with most of what they said in interview but I don't think it's the wisest time to be in the stock market! Thanks for the motivation! 😊👍🏻

Very inspirational! Thanks for sharing. And very happy to see someone from Japan, because I just started to learn Japanese =^_^= ありがとう!

Agree, Going forward step by step without hurrying things, being well grounded in reality and knowing when to ask for help without being ashamed of it.

But your philosophy finds people like me and kills them and it is no phobia. It is fact. So, we talk back, invent things, and succeed, we even defend our point of view. We also develop software

Every time I feel overwhelmed, I try to make it not about me. Do something unselfish for others, just for the good of it. Such as helping my neighbor or a colleague with their problem. Doing so fills me with joy and hope.

Life is movement. Like a river, it needs to flow. You cannot step into the same river twice. It is the same, but not. The water is always new.

Be like a river. No-one likes a stagnent pond ;)

I am working of defeating those fuckers now. They aren't going down without a fight... and neither am I. Not this time, anyway.

Hi there ✌🏻 I'm Vikky and I'm a new steemer! I'm not flooding, just sharing the funny stories with photos about my golden retriever puppy Mr. Oliver 🐶🐶🐶 Please follow me back and vote for my first posts) I'm really thankfull to you 😻

Isn't it interesting how seldom our fears come true? yet, haunt persist. This is the story of my life, too. Surprisingly, I am really good in emergency situations...especially ones that do not involve "me"...So, I suppose the fears are more about doubting myself in situations, rather than the event itself...
(I'm having an epiphany before even having my coffee). Time to get old school and break out the old journal. Thanks for this....(damn you irrational fears😩)🙃

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Negative self-talk is probably one of the most destructive things to an individual. "You are what you think". There is so much truth in that!

Great post, thanks for sharing!

Maybe you would like one of my "similar" recent posts too...

https://steemit.com/life/@jaynie/rockyourworld-stress-and-desperation-are-our-greatest-teachers