Today I can sit up. As I haven’t done so since Sunday night, I am celebrating this seemingly small thing. You know how something unexpected will knock you off of your trajectory, well my unexpected Life unsaddling sundae was a lovely bout of the worst food poisoning I’ve ever had.
The digestive pyrotechnics were pretty spectacular I must admit, although I kinda really hated the no sleep for 24 hours. Okay, and I hated the other part too. Well, I hate all of it.
I should have known that Life was going to smack me, for I have been ever so efficient for far too long. As I stood in my driveway conversing with my brother Sunday evening I began to feel the impending onslaught of my physical reckoning. I had just shot my friend’s new Rutger 6mm Creedmore and was high on the elation that results when one achieves a moment of tactical bliss. I should’ve remembered that life is about balance.
On the positive side I lost 7lbs in 24 hours. In America that’s a total win right there, I can hear the infomercial now, ”For only $49.95 we’ll ship you this salmonella in a cracker culture and you too can achieve amazing results overnight! Some biological functions and side effects will apply. See terms and conditions.”
I think today is Wednesday. I’m calling it Liberation Wednesday because I moved from a reclining position in my bed to an upright position on the couch. Things keep going like this and I might actually be able to put on my shoes and step out onto the porch for a bit! That’s some positive waves right there!
My hubs and the kiddos have taken good care of me. To them, the highest form of affection is to leave one completely alone. Also, we have a farm and a ton of chores, so when one of us is down, the down person suffers another additional affliction of others doing one’s chores guilt. So, I got to be sick and isolated, it was great.
Not that I was alone though. The pets knew their main caregiver was precariously on the edge of this realm. My cowboy corgi only left my side to eat or relieve herself, and this creature, Jager AKA Toe-bite-us Jr. lurked on the edges of my peripheral vision like a little constant of toe biting yes I’m still alive you noir colored heathen pain.
Pickles also did welfare checks, nothing is more therapeutic than your ear being placed into a full chokehold by a cat who is tripping through life in slow motion. I think his intent was to give me mild injuries in order to take my mind off of my illness, I could tell because of the purring as I lay dehydrated and bleeding. That’s my new superhero name btw, Dehyrdra.
And now I’m going to leave this report here. I think I need a sip of water and a nap, but remember, for only $49.95 you too can achieve almost instant weight loss and complete immobilization!
Sorry to hear you've been laid low! I'd take a 7# loss, but I'd skip the side effects...
Funny how the pets rally round when you are feeling awful...
Pets are the best when one is ailing. Well, except for when you are stuck in bed and your cat decides to puke on your carpet. Sigh. lol lol
Thanks for the condolences, I am almost back in action again ha ha:)
Oh my, that sounds rather unpleasant and draining.
You would absolutely make yourself a cool 6 figures marketing your couture weight loss product to the rich around CDA who would then take it back to LA. At least until the fda/cdc caught up with you, or public outcry at getting sick and having the ultimate explosive draining of their system happen for days on end. But hey, look how much weight they lost, it can't be THAT bad right? Maybe get it into the modeling world or the MMA world. What better to prep for an upcoming event than a few day purge to get those last few pounds off? 🤣
Glad you're on the mend. Hopefully this is getting the balance swung the other way so the next thing will be repayment for your troubles.
Ooh, I think there is a marketing director position open for you my friend! LOL!
I'm starting to think Life's idea of balance for me is like Crack The Whip, I'm hurtling back like an overly exuberant rock skipping across a placid pond. After The Great Draining it would be nice to have a bit of a sedate meander through things for a bit;)
Hope all is well on the other side of the hill!
Oh no! I am so sorry to hear you have been unwell. And I bet you had big plans for wrapping up things in the yard and garden before today's rain hit. Dang. Interesting how the pets kept an eye on you. Louie always knows when somebody isn't feeling well, and sticks to that person like a burr.