Most people have some kind of pet peeve that gets to them more than anything else. Can you guess mine?
I was just invited to a discord server for community organizers. I joined and started having a nice conversation with the people there. Then someone said something that set me off. It's something I've heard a lot before, and sometimes I can ignore it, but something about the timing or just my mood, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I wasn't extremely rude but the word "cocksucker" was used and that is a word I almost never use. What's my "trigger"? I'm sure @ryivhnn and @vincentnijman can guess it, I've already mentioned it before.
"Personal Branding" or "Marketing yourself"
Whenever I hear these words I want to punch someone in the teeth. I've been trying to remain authentic my whole life, despite the digital age making it more and more common to "brand yourself". "All business is branding business" according to Tai Lopez and whoever he may have taken that from. In general, yes, most profitable business does depend on branding. So if we are talking about business, OK, I get it. But what about when talking to people who aren't thinking about business every day?
Authenticity has been something I've striven for since I was young. It actually didn't come easy to me at first because I never liked conflict and was rather shy growing up so I kept a lot inside before. As I've gotten older I've learned to speak my mind without so many reservations. It took a long time.
I've actually turned down multiple opportunities for fame and fortune because they would have required me to be something I wasn't or to package what I am into an easily digested product. I will never see myself as a product though.
"Self Branding" is one way to frame the world and it has become part of pop culture, in a way it is almost forced upon us if we want to achieve success. Of course some people achieve success without it but they are constantly misunderstood.
I do not like being forced to use other peoples framing. I do not like culture that is forced upon me. What about the username @whatamidoing and the pineapple head? Aren't they a form of branding? To you maybe, but not to me. I like things that are just absurd enough to make people smile and think for a second. I am well aware that my username and profile pic are things that people can easily remember. Maybe I even wanted them to be easy to remember. Sometimes I even play them up a little bit and use pictures in my posts with pineapples. But I don't put much time into manipulating you into how to pay attention to my posts.
I'm just trying to have fun. I'm just making art. I probably would be very good at branding, I understand it and I think many artists are naturally good at it. But I just don't think in those terms. You may see everything you do as business, but I see everything I do as art. I can't control how you see the world, but I can voice my distaste for something, except in many instances, "self branding" is just so prevalent that to question it seems out of place.
For me to call everything one does in public "self branding" is akin to calling someone a "cocksucker" for every nice deed they do. And so I used the word "cocksucker" to illustrate how vulgar this word feels to me.
Don't get me wrong, I am not criticizing you for branding yourself. I just find it disrespectful when people bring that word near me, the same way you might feel disrespected if I used words like "cocksucker" all the time. It's vulgar to some and not to others, but in general you try to respect others personal culture.
I hope that in the future I am able to separate myself from my feelings and recognize this for what it is, culture shock. We have different cultures, I am not part of the business culture. I don't necessarily need to respect the business culture but I should be able to recognize that it is a cultural difference and not let it fire me up so me. I'm not sorry. I want to change this for me, not for anyone else, because I would like to be as "trigger-less" as possible.
She probably had no idea how very different our culture is, that it's even a matter of culture, or that her concept of "self marketing" is part of her framing. I should be more understanding that it's part of the culture though. If I'm in a country where people burp during a meal to be polite, I don't believe it’s neccesary for me to hold a deep respect for all other culture, but I'm not going to achieve much by telling people how gross it is. In the same way, I'm not sure getting heated over these words is going to achieve much. Or maybe it will, who knows? The whole world seems to conform to this culture and if no one questions it, there will be no one from outside to come and introduce any other ideas. I do hope she there is no bad blood between us now though.
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by @skyleap
The term "self-marketing" gives me flashbacks to my days as a telemarketer...come to think of it, someone yelling "cocksucker" reminds me of being a telemarkerter too.
I get you though, sometimes it feels like no one is capable of being "real" and when people start throwing terms like branding around it can touch that nerve, for sure.
If it makes you feel any better, I have yelled some horrible stuff at people for way less noble reasons, like holding up traffic or taking too long to order at the drive through when all I want is a goddamn chocolate shake. We are all fallible, we get mad for complicated reasons that may not be apparent to others, and, every now and then, we have to call someone a cocksucker.
You know, I don’t really get bothered by the way other people frame the world, it’s when their framing becomes part of the cultural narrative and I get sucked into conversations where I am not really allowed to speak my language anymore that drives me nuts.
Haha thanks for the understanding. I don’t feel bad about it, I’m just trying to be better and better where I don’t feel “triggered” by others and ave full control of my reaction, even if my reaction is to call someone a coccsucker....I didn’t call her that though! I just said that’s how those words feel to me.
Haha I get you. I know the feeling you are talking about. I wrote my last post about one of things that sets me off sometimes in fact.
As long as you are aware how you react you can make an effort to control it a little more. I was pretty good at keeping my cool when I was forced to work in groups but there was one time where I came damn close to assaulting someone over it. I could handle the fact that half of the people didn't pull their weight and that some tried to live out their control fetish in the lamest setting ever but on that occasion an individual altered my work without my knowledge the day of a presentation and left me without functional notes. I didn't end up hitting him but I did rip his notes out of his hand and I never gave them back so we both had to wing it that day lol. That was childish of me but I got pushed a little too far I guess. Trying is the important part even if it doesn't always work and you seem to have that down.
I probably would have made a scene "before I talk about ----- I'd like to bring attention to the fact that a turd faced idiot known as -------- has made sure my hard work has been for nothing"
I think it's most favorable to act angry when you actually just want to make a point or to feel angry without letting it affect your actions. I might have done the same thing as you and I don't know if I'd feel bad about it. It really depends on whether you are doing it out of respect for yourself or disrespect for them.
That would have worked too lol. Yeah there is a bit more to that story I had been fed up with that guy for a few days leading up to that incident it worked out for me better than him in the end. I was a slacker through my younger years so I had developed my ability to bullshit my way through assignments like that and he hadn't. Whether I took his notes out of some kind of self respect is another question. I would have actually given them back if he was willing to ask but I think he saw that I was on the edge of violence and he didn't want to push his luck.
He was a wealthy hipster who dressed homeless because he thought it was fashionable. He would do beginner's yoga poses in public where all the regular people were just trying to smoke or have some coffee and then do that judgmental cough so we would all know how much our 'lifestyles" offended him. So before we both got put in a group to give a 15 - 30 minute presentation on King Lear, I already wanted to huck a brick or two at him. Anyway, the group met twice and he got it in his head that he was the "leader." He tried to dictate what everyone would talk about. The nineteen year old kids that made up most of the group just went with it but I refused to change my work to fit his vision (I was on topic but I was not going to make his case for him). The presentation came the next day and one the others in the group showed me the final printout of the power point (which he "accidentally" forgot to send me) and all the information I was supposed to cover was replaced with the garbage he wanted me to cover. You can see, that there was a build-up to me mugging him for his notes.
I agree with you on reserving anger for when it is called for or when it has an effect for sure, though.
There was a time I vomited from the word networking but branding and marketing made/ make me feel worse. Although - these days - I try to change my attitude towards money and see it as a way more positive thing. It helped a little bit, I found a folded 5 euro note in my wallet even though I thought - only yesterday - that it was empty :>)
It’s really sad too cause I think networking could easily mean something good, like “really connecting in a way in which tovbuild something useful”. I’m tempted to use this word sometimes but then I think of how others use it and therefore how ots interpretted and I don’t.
I tried to see the worse stuff (death disease and war) as being positive first and now money is really easy for me to see as positive. It’s just energy that isn’t flowing freely. We can help it move freely if we allow it to flow towards us....massage the money!
I see what you mean about networking. I could definitely see it as positive too. The same goes for death and disease ( the opposite of ease ;> ) ) but doing the same for war, not sure about that.
I am training myself to see money as a positive thing and it already starts flowing to me ( and from my hands ) more easily.
Peace out ( in other words, war , haha )
Vomit is the perfect verb lol
How the hell, why the hell, why HERE the hell would you brand yourself as a cheap, purchaseable thing? Might as well call myself a whore off the bat.
Don't change. Stay pineapple! Keep (s)wearing (nicely) your feelings on your sleeve. Never suck UP to (or even on) anything.
Pineapple is my brand, apparently! Hahahha I love the parenthesis! Hahaha
Ahaha what, you really called them that? How did that go down? Love it. Branding schmanding. It's all just awful to me. Come as you are xx
I did not call anyone a cocksucker! They’d have to do way worse for me to insult them so vulgarly. I just used the word to illustrate how the word “self branding” felt to me. Cocksucker shmockfucker. X-D
😘😉🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think the fact that the conversation was in English may give some degree of cultural home team!
What’s your native language then?
It is English. I really wish I could speak another language!
As a musician, I've failed miserably at "marketing" myself....
And I'm ok with that.
lol
You are better off! Almost everyone who does a good job marketing themselves gets lost in the expectations they create and no longer feel free to just create what comes to them. You post your music here? I will try to get good internet so I can listen!
I also have my issues with this new culture of self branding. Because when I know a person does this, there is no way I believe one word they say. They have to stick to their concept of themselves...what an odd thing to do. And I always question myself how those people get so much followers and believers in what they are saying as it is obvious that all is just for the self branding. But yeah it was and will be a strange world we live in with much more new trends to come...I hope humaneness survives ;)
It’s the same as all branding though. People know commercials are all just meant to brainwash us and don’t have much honesty or sincerity in them, but they work anyway. I think it’s an attitude of “that’s just how it is” and they always use the worst things to compare those people/things with and feel like “they’re not all that bad, at least they donate money to whatever cause” or “at least they are a good mother/father” .
Most awfulness stems from the fact that people just don’t believe anything better is possible, or that they are actually impacting the world around them.
Well I could probably guess but I'm too scared to now XD
Yeh you know I'm not into any of that stuff either. I've also gotten to a point where I won't even read certain headlines unless I either immediately recognise the author or am looking for something specific that has a possibility of being in tha article XD
Guess? I said it right after I made you guess X-D
I don’t think it’s all that bad on steemit, and I don’t even have to make an effort to ignore people who treat themselves like merchandise. My internal GPS keeps me away from the worst of them and then there are a few who aren’t just used to all that and who I can feel the genuine part of them indernearth. I mostly just hate when I have to adjust my language to business, Hipster,”digital nomad” speak in order to convey ideas in a chat room (not ours of course).
Timothy Ferris made a podcast about why he doesn't think branding is a big deal. He said all you have to do is find 1,000 die hard fans, and they'll do all your marketing for you. If you look at what he does, he doesn't have a brand really at all. And Jerry Banfield comes to mind who puts out tons of stuff on every subject from spirituality to gardening to how to make money streaming video online.
That’s a good point. Not only does treating everything like a brand destroy authenticity, it’s probably not even neccesary.
Still, I’m sure the self branders would say Jerry is going for the “new age space cadet vibe”.
I’ve actually really tried to brand my work. I’ve never been able to cause as soon as I think I’ve got something I grow and change it. I’ve changed the name of my vintage clothing store on Etsy five times.
Dude, if you are branding a store, that's totally different, it really depends on what the priorities are. If the stores main goal is to feed you then brand away! And I'm not saying it can't be more than just a business. What bothers me is when people become brands and that becomes such a widely accepted thing that there is no escaping that kind of framing when talking with others about any kind of development.
I've never been able to be in any kind of box. Even in school when everyone had their category: goth or skater or hippie, or..... I could never do one. I was..... all of them. I still am ha ha.
I understand. I always felt like I could identify with the ideals of a punk or hippie but never wanted to look or sound like one. I can relate to a culture without conforming to it.
Conforming
I have a lot alot of people I can't follow because it feels so self focused, like they are some kind of step above,, and the language to their 'following' makes me start to trigger also, lol. Some even have great stuff, but I just can't do it . I feel you. I am in a big crypto group and I lose it every now and then on these people trying to be like ' So, we all hate Ripple, but we have some right?" , like " no, sorry to be a moral asshole but I don't fucking play life that and fuck you" lol. I feel it hahaha
I tend to just stay away from anything that sounds too formally written unless it’s fiction maybe. I’m fine with people having different culture, even when that culture is essentially inauthentic, what bothers me is when that culture is so dominant I can’t get away from it or when people kind of assume their culture is just accepted by all and dominate the conversation simply through the framing of every discussion.
You might want to kill me. If I knew Ripple wasn’t my best shot at making tons of $ id probably buy some and then sell it and put those big profits into something I believed in. There are lots of other coins that I think are easier to do well with though. Once again though, I wouldn’t expect everyone should do it the way I do it.
Do you Discord?
Yeah I'm on discord, but still pretty new and not super super active . My name on there is the same as here @Kilbride . I understand that people want out of the system, and I know we can't be saintlike- its impossible for me not to eat or work without somehow participating with companies we don't believe in. it just bothers me that it is more of a way of them saying 'we act cool like we care about doing things better but that's just a front because we are really here to help ourselves'. It wasn't that someone just said they buy ripple, it was the way in which they want both the pirate cred but still get the house slave rations. Just say where you really are, you know? And there are some things I just don't do out of like 'this is just too evil' like I don't shop at Wal Mart- but I know that buying most stuff anywhere else is really not thaaat much better. But , I also don't go on and on about walmart like I'm better than everyone- I say why I don't shop there and admit that its small and people can do what they want with it (except my family lol- I gave them the indepth anti Walmart spiel for almost two decades now ).
Trying matters! Even if you still eat McDonald’s sometimes, eating once a month is a lot better than eating once a day. People don’t have to be perfect and everything is set up where it’s hard not to be a hypocrite sometimes. We were raised with all of this after all.
You are doing well.
I can’t find you on discord, you aren't in nycof the many rooms I’m in
I'm only in Curie PAL Steemcleaners and Sia coin on discord..
I've had a few people tell me that "FireAwayMarmot" is a bad brand name because it has too many syllables and uses soft consonants. When I reply, "but I like it" they tell me that it doesn't matter if I like it, other people won't.
What you are doesn’t matter, it only matter s what other people think you are, right? Bleeeehhh. Some people need more time alone in nature. They can’t even imagine what it’s like to be alone without internet.
Wow that's beautiful work