Buddhism talks about the difficulty of forcing something past or something future into the present moment, because in this simultaneity it disturbs the flow of the situation. If we force the past (trauma) into the present moment, we grieve or are angry, if we force the future into the present moment, we feel fear and uncertainty.
@erh.germany, your thought-provoking analysis reminds me of my favorite author, Caroline Myss. She reminds us that many people walk around with their wounds hanging around their necks like medals of honor. The wound becomes the lens that all events are analyzed from the past, expected in the future and explained away in the present. Myss says, yes, feel your feelings, recognize that you were wounded and provide space and time for your self to heal. But, remember to get off the boat on the other side of that healing. For if you remain on the boat, you will always be in the process of healing, and you will never be healed. 🌱
HaHa :D A comical shot: pain as glittering medals around the neck. I've heard this one before somewhere... it seems to form a winged expression. So there is something to it. One assumption could be that people wear these medals has to do with "the great pathology" (maybe a title for a book? ;.) and with the fact that now even the common citizen is psychologically fully trained in terms of the terminology and strategy for which attention is paid today.
... For me, it is like an inevitable logic, because when people feel trapped by their environment or work or the world, the only way out is pathology. Otherwise you have to function, do, do. . . It's a bit crazy, isn't it? That the currency for non-health and pain is such an extremely good currency?
My mother was born in 1929, when the opposite was true: People who weren't exactly academics and urbanites never heard of the unconscious and trauma. They just kept silent or raved. To put it very simply.
We have contemporary currents that can show us something. I think your picture of the boat is very fitting. I would say that for all people in helping professions it is a fantastic practice in exercising patience and creativity when people do not want to leave this boat.
Thank you for your visit, I am always happy to welcome new guests.
Yes, people lead with their wounds. They become their wounds. Without my wound, who am I? Many thrive on the special treatment and care lavished on those who are hurting. As Myss says, our society does not value healthy people. We think if someone is healthy then they do not need special treatment, care or support. This is so very untrue and a backwards way of existing, in my opinion. 🌱
That our society does not value the healthy is nothing I could not think otherwise. I could also say that the healthy don't value themselves, that's why they want to be sick, right? But where is the dividing line between healthy and sick? At what point does someone become so ill that he or she experiences a care for himself or herself in a unambiguous way through those who care for him or her? If I said, "I am healthy and you are sick," does that not arouse your resistance? Because in what way would I mean this sentence? Am I healthy on the whole and you sick on the whole? Besides: What does health mean at all? What illness?
It is difficult and I don't think it is possible to have a dialogue between the two of us in which the personal is left out and "society" takes its place. So when you say that you think that society doesn't care enough about the healthy, then this triggers the following assumption in me: That you think society doesn't take enough care of you. But what does the placeholder stand for? But for your living experiences, in which you consciously or unconsciously think of those who could be meant by it.
So it seems to me that in principle you affirm what you deny, "only the sick person receives attention", by saying: " from this it follows that the healthy person receives none". I say this intentionally a little extreme:)
Right now I am giving you my attention. At the same time, of course, I am also giving attention to myself, stimulated by what you said. But how do we both talk to each other so that we find confirmation in each other? In terms of the fact that I - a stranger - from now on represent a part of a society and you represent it for me. How can we both assume from each other that we care what one or the other says, feels and thinks?
Do I really talk to you and you to me? Is this doubt something that confuses and triggers feelings that are unloved? Can one embrace them instead?
Certainly, for there is no real "society" except by our own making. Our own personal universe is within our mind, and only what we have experience with (directly or indirectly) can influence our universe.
I was recently fretting over the reaction I thought someone would have to something I needed to tell them. I was anxious and worried and became consumed with what I thought they would think. But, I was finally able to step back and realize that these thoughts I was having were really my own reactions to deep fears or patters of thought that had become habit from my own past experiences. The other person had done nothing and I was simply projecting my universe on to them, making them the placeholder for my own feelings. 🌱
Oh ... And I just thought about a P.S.
something that may serve as a thumb rule is when people like to talk about trauma, their own and those of others, they usually maybe not so much traumatized. Those, who avoid talking or are quiet about it, were probably better off if they try to talk and work on what resources it could offer them.