You see, it is very hard to get compassion when the behaviour scream unkindness and the inside is crying. Here there is a little influence of the ego. Most people lack enough self esteem in order to admit they are hurt or that they have to apologise. And because they lack this very important inner resource, they can't be nice. They need to feel superior somehow. Actually it is sad, if you think it through. But it is not an excuse for bad behaviour. Compassion is very good and welcomed, but I believe it should be given to people who at least show they are willing to change their wrong doings. Causing pain comes from pain, but it does not justify the perpetuation of the pattern. It would be then toxic and deceiving and using it for getting "victim pity" . So there is a very fine line but in the end I belive in the power of kindness with a drop of realism .
I enjoyed reading and thank you for your quality answers in the replies! I enjoyed it too:)