"Understanding that all our bad actions come from a place of trauma and pain and try to understand rather than to judge." You hit the nail on head with this one! It is like some sort of self defense mechanism that not always comes across the right way and those at the receiving end not always understand those reactions come from place of pain or feeling worthless, not feeling appreciated and that in those moments while being harsh to others they are hoping that perhaps someone will show them compassion, ask them what is wrong. But even without lashing out on others, when you are not ok and your performance drops and you feel miserable then and there, some people would not ask what's wrong and rather look at them as being some pathetic creature and that is where the compassion is missing. It's such cold way to handle people. I wish that changed.
Thank you! And thank you for your comment as it brings out one more dimension to the topic!
You see, it is very hard to get compassion when the behaviour scream unkindness and the inside is crying. Here there is a little influence of the ego. Most people lack enough self esteem in order to admit they are hurt or that they have to apologise. And because they lack this very important inner resource, they can't be nice. They need to feel superior somehow. Actually it is sad, if you think it through. But it is not an excuse for bad behaviour. Compassion is very good and welcomed, but I believe it should be given to people who at least show they are willing to change their wrong doings. Causing pain comes from pain, but it does not justify the perpetuation of the pattern. It would be then toxic and deceiving and using it for getting "victim pity" . So there is a very fine line but in the end I belive in the power of kindness with a drop of realism .
I enjoyed reading and thank you for your quality answers in the replies! I enjoyed it too:)