Hi @leaky20 :)
As always, it's nice to see you here. I can honestly say I have experienced all three aspects I discussed here. In my teens I feared disapproval and failure. In the beginning of my relationship with my husband (we've been together for 15 years) I embraced his identity as my own for quite a while. After a while, despite all the new things I braved to explore, do, and "become" it still felt empty. Luckily I managed to find out why and rediscover my old self again without much psychological agony. Peace and calm returned swiftly after that.
As for existential loneliness. I do visit the island every once in a while :) There are occasions where I spend a lot of time there, there are others I manage to come back to mainland quite soon. I found interesting to hear you resort to mindfulness in order to deal with your existential loneliness. I have tried it many times before. Not only when feeling lonely, but also in times of anxiety or distress. I am not good at it. For me, the cognitive approach works best. I stay with my thoughts rationalize them and make peace with reality. Only then do they (thoughts) go away.
I wish you two a great evening and a peaceful weekend ahead! :)
Everyone is different so finding the strategy that works best for you is the key :)
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