I can definitely relate to the feeling of existential lonliness that you discuss here, and in the past I admit that I probably even experienced some of what your friend Nathan is going through. I'm quite sure that I grew out of the latter though.
I like the advice of looking inward when we experience existential lonliness. I try to practice mindfulness when I notice discomfort within me, of any sort. In doing so I find that the practice creates space between myself and the feeling. I've also noticed that the feeling is often fueled by my inner thoughts and self talk. Mindfulness reduces the thoughts though, by bringing me into the present moment. Mindfulness therefore reduces the feelings of loneliness by reducing the thoughts.
Great article as always. Enjoy the rest of your week and the weekend with your husband!
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Hi @leaky20 :)
As always, it's nice to see you here. I can honestly say I have experienced all three aspects I discussed here. In my teens I feared disapproval and failure. In the beginning of my relationship with my husband (we've been together for 15 years) I embraced his identity as my own for quite a while. After a while, despite all the new things I braved to explore, do, and "become" it still felt empty. Luckily I managed to find out why and rediscover my old self again without much psychological agony. Peace and calm returned swiftly after that.
As for existential loneliness. I do visit the island every once in a while :) There are occasions where I spend a lot of time there, there are others I manage to come back to mainland quite soon. I found interesting to hear you resort to mindfulness in order to deal with your existential loneliness. I have tried it many times before. Not only when feeling lonely, but also in times of anxiety or distress. I am not good at it. For me, the cognitive approach works best. I stay with my thoughts rationalize them and make peace with reality. Only then do they (thoughts) go away.
I wish you two a great evening and a peaceful weekend ahead! :)
Everyone is different so finding the strategy that works best for you is the key :)
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