Sometimes I like to write myself reminders.
Perhaps one day I will truly master this awareness!
Whenever you feel stuck in a situation that doesn't feel good, especially in circumstances that appear to be someone else's fault--instead of pointing the finger--the best, most effective and beneficial thing you can do is to look within and take responsibility for yourself.
For example:
If you feel your are being disrespected--ask yourself-- "Am I disrespecting myself?" Just remember, you put yourself in the situation in the first place!
If you feel abandoned-- ask yourself-- "Am I abandoning myself?" If you're not looking out for your own best interests and loving yourself unconditionally, you've abandoned yourself.
If you feel manipulated -- ask yourself-- "Do I get what I want by manipulating situations or others?" If you're trying to blame someone else for your problems and trying to get them to change to make yourself feel better--you're being a manipulator!!
If you take responsibility for putting yourself in the situation, being a part of an exchange, or simply even knowing that everything in your existence is about you, then you can become empowered to make change. Blaming, waiting, or demanding others to change will not solve your problems. If you don't take responsibility, the same situation will likely reappear in your reality in some other form, and will likely be even more magnified the next time, as you have not addressed the issue within that caused it in the first place.
It's hard for people to see that they are the true cause of their own discomfort. It's often difficult to understand how the actions of others reflect our own responsiblity because we have been trained that everything is on the outside of us. But the truth is that everything in our existence is about us, every relationship, every conversation, everything!!! Our lives unfold in accordance with our inner world, our experiences, ideas, traumas, thoughts and perceptions. We are the creators of our own realities! Acknowledging that and taking responsibility is the only real solution.
Other people are our own best mirrors, and they show us what we need to know about ourselves. We have the perfect opportunity to dissect the real root of the problem. Before lashing out, look within.
Once we take responsibility for our lives, we are no longer victims and we regain the power. There is no one else to blame. No judgment is needed -- see it for what it is, acknowledge it, accept it, change it. Judgment always adds another layer of dysfunction on top of the perceived existing problem, so just being committed to doing better from here on out keeps it simple.
I believe we are on this planet to experience unconditional love -- and that love begins with ourselves. Doing the inner work has vast rewards, including a freer mind, a healthier body, a fulfilled soul and a more rewarding all-around experience.
I often get advice from a very wise and benevolent friend of mine @quinneaker. Two of my favorite quotes from him are:
"It's all energy and it's all in alignment!" and
"There are no problems, just opportunities for solutions!"
AHO!!!
I highly recommend reading @quinneaker's blog: "If You are Feeling Lonely at the Holidays or Any Day, Consider This: There Is No One to Count on BUT Yourself"
There are no problems, just misunderstandings
Once better understanding is reached, problems are more likely to dissolve.
Great for people to learn to understand more of this.
Communication is definitely a key factor. Something I, and from my experience, most everyone, could do well to upgrade. Most of us are quick to judge and are quite adept at justification. Being in the moment and addressing things as they arise is also a very powerful opportunity. So grateful for your comment and presence here, @virtualgrowth!
Two of my favorites posted about "victim" recently and invite you to check out the other's post: Stop Being The Victim... by @mrwang
And so I shall @virtualgrowth. I guess it's time for a lot of introspection for many. Thanks for the heads up!
You are most welcome! ❤
I have long ago changed the word problem into opportunities, it is working fine.
Thank you!
Alchemizing is of great value! Life changing indeed. Thanks for your comment @schamangerbert.
You are welcome!
In the beginning it feels like taking responsibility will be painful and shaming. One of the biggest things I learned at the Garden is that taking responsibility is not only very liberating but empowering.
I felt stuck, like other people were to blame, like I was being manipulated and without realizing it I had made myself into a powerless victim.
The more I take responsibility the stronger and free I am.
I can guess what inspired this post. Many blessings mi hermanita.
It is often hard to face ourselves and acknowledge that we are responsible. As you say, it is worth the effort to delve in. Soon it feels much better to step out of the victim role and take responsibility. It is the path to freedom!
Why do our egos trick us into believing otherwise? Life is interesting.
I believe we have been trained in the ways of blame. And humanity has been asleep for so long, there is nothing to do but be victims and point the finger. It takes some awakening and conscious attention to recognize the contrary. And even more still to accept that is the case and DO something about it. Life is indeed interesting @loveon.
I totally agree! But it's still partially your fault I'm such a great cook and have evolved to be the much, much happier person than I was ...say...three years ago. Can I blame you for that? But, then, I am in alignment with it. <3
Hahahaha--of course, blame me if you must!! Whatever it takes to have energized the transformation--we'll go with that! It's great to be in alignment with such--and glad you did what you did with it! Pay it forward @loveon! I know you will.
❤️Thank you! ❤️
Awe---Tracy!! Thank you for showing up here and for sharing the love. Truly grateful for you!
Agree about taking responsibility. An interesting piece of psyche that i noticed -
a couple of my friends blame the table or chair when they knock into it. They tend to be the most unhappy. Small sample size but it seems interesting.
Thanks for your comment @numpypython!! It is actually seems kinda funny that someone would blame an inanimate object!! It does seem to be quite a popular thing to do. Moving unconsciously through their space and not having awareness of how they conduct their body seems like a valuable reason to blame a chair!! LOL They're likely feeling embarrassed for not taking responsibility for their actions, and thereby attempt to deflect and distract. I'm not surprised that those friends are the most unhappy. Generally, the more aware we are and the more responsibility we take, the happier we become.
Couldn't agree more, @everlove.
Thanks for being you @numpypython!
Merci pour ces paroles pleines de douceur, de vérité et de sagesse.
Thank you for these words full of gentleness, truth and wisdom.
great thinking about relationships in our life.
upvoted already :)
Thanks @royalmacro. It feels like time that many are rethinking their relationships and especially the one with themselves. Can't go astray with that!
Great reminder to look within and be the change! I appreciate that you continue to shine the light on how to live an empowered, responsible existence. Thank you, @everlove!! 💛
It takes diligence, perserverence and in the moment presence. I am grateful for the awareness and for the continued guiding light @quinneaker shines so brightly. Even in the toughest of times, solutions exist. Thank you @saramiller for being who you are and for examining this life with me. I truly appreciate you.
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Wow, what an awesome post. You really caught each and every struggle we have in life by the root. Thank you for sharing :)
Thank you for reading and for your comment @yoganarchista. I agree--that is truly at the root of our struggles. Now only if we can also work on effective communication as well. Our lives will be forever changed. Blessings to you.
What a great post. Thank you for taking the time to create this. :)
You're welcome @miahcelnewit2nd. I feel we can all use reminders to be responsible. That is where all our power is. Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment.