Wow @monchhichi23! Thank you for sharing your story with us! Your brief description of your past reminds me very much of the story of Job in the Christian Bible. Job was a good man, and the Devil made a wager with God that he could make Job curse the Lord he loved.
The Devil threw horrible circumstance after horrible circumstance at Job, but Job never lost his love for God.
Perhaps you weren't being punished at all. Perhaps in your previous existence you were in ideal circumstances and weren't given the opportunity to learn from pain—one of the greatest teachers and motivators for a human being. This feels especially true since it happened earlier in your life which gave you the opportunity to transcend Hell here on Earth and find your way to a Heavenly state of mind while you are still in your body.
Congratulations! That is an amazing accomplishment! Maintaining a positive mental attitude even when the going is rough is one of the most difficult skills one can master.
I'm sure you're keenly aware of the many lessons your early life struggles taught you. They litterally formed you into the bright being you are today!
So lovely! 😍