A Conversation About Empathy + Social Honesty 💏

in #socialhonesty7 years ago


In this conversation with Eric Bell, we discuss:

✨ How honesty has become an UNlearned behavior

✨ The special groups of people who are beyond the reach of social conditioning and, therefore, CANNOT lie

✨ The evolution of Lavish Listening

✨ The important roles of self-awareness, tension, conflict, disagreement and pain in our personal -- and, eventually, social -- transformation

✨ The special opportunity that arises, whenever you both want to, and also find it difficult to, say "No"

✨ The practicalities and principles of Non-Violent Communication (NVC)

✨ The beauty and freedom found in relationships that are cultivated for honest engagement

✨ How social dishonesty DELAYS applied Liberty and Anarchy

✨ The unnamed shape I drew is a prolate spheroid 🏈

✨ The distinction between honesty and unkindness; they get conflated and should not be, because they are not the same. Unkind honesty is, ultimately, unhelpful

✨ A process of giving yourself empathy

✨ The usefulness of a Feelings + Needs Inventory

✨ Discontent is a thing of value. And guidance. Attend to it.

✨ Being spanked/paddled is not a good response to honesty (evidenced with a personal story)

✨ Humans are strong, resilient and capable of honest relations with each other

✨ First, we (must) speak truth to the power INSIDE us. Then, we (can) speak truth to the powers OUTSIDE us. And all along the way, we (can) speak truth to the power inside those we immediately share our life with. 💗

This is the simple and transformative work of Social Honesty.

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Stay tuned for a free Social Honesty No-Paper!

In the meantime, please consider your relationships, with the simple trajectory below.
It is a visual tool for honest self-assessment, not lazy blaming of others:

1:Downward 👎🏽Backward--------2:Still 🛑Stuck--------3:Onward 🚀Upward

Do you have more 1s + 2s, then 3s? Social Honesty is all about relational 3s.

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Please also check out:

Why Sincerity Is The Best Social Strategy

@erikaharris

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Hello Erika, I like your honesty of this post my sister.

The Vesica Pisces symbol was used in my Child education classes to explain how we are in one circle as our inner self, the other circle is others. When ever we interact the circles combine creating the public self (the self that wants friendships) causing change without us knowing.
Honesty is the cure to retaining ones inner self.
Truth and hugs Heal..

Honesty is the cure to retaining ones inner self.

YES! And, I'd add... it's also the cure to INFLUENCING one's outer world/self to a more agreeable state. "Being the change," as Ghandi said... "sacred activism" as Andrew Harvey calls it.

Next time I see you, I'd enjoy hearing more about your child education classes. They sound cool and intriguing, for the curriculum to have included vesica pisces!

I love your thoughts, @healthiswealth! Thanks so much for sharing 'em.

Yes, yes, _INFLUENCING/manifesting one's world and self. YES!
Be the change.... Ghandi is a role model of mine, I use that in my intro post coming out soon if I could get some help with the video part?
It would be my pleasure to share with you about my child education classes also known as loving manipulation not to be mistaken for Manipulation
I look forward to seeing and chatting with you soon, big hugs!
Randall

Also, the picture you drew is the Vesica Pisces, a very ancient symbol to the entrance to knowledge and the womb, transformation.

@quantummonks: Vesica Piscis. Fish Bladder. Mystic Almond. Prolate Spheroid. Its name has gone through a few iterations, huh? lol

But you reminding me that the thing I was calling "our workspace" and "the playground," is hermetically known as the vesica -- and has a huge amount of energy behind and within it -- that is SUCH an important gift.

I might not have added its sacred geometric roots in the no-paper, had you not put it at the front of my mind just now. THANK YOU SO MUCH! May I have your permission to use your comment in it?

The term I think you were looking for the overlapping circles is Venn diagram.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venn_diagram

I really appreciated the experience you shared in regard to honesty in a 5th grade Catholic school classroom. I can identify with that experience with my own similar experiences throughout my lifetime.

An excellent example of several things.

One, how children are given conflicting messages in regard to honesty.

Two, how being honest with people who use force and aren't understanding and compassionate may not be a good opportunity to demonstrate honesty.

Three, for those who want honesty, be cognizant of what you are punishing/ rewarding. If the Principle understood the mixed message they we're sending, they probably would have chose differently... for their own long term effectiveness. But of course, someone would have to be honest with them to discover that.

I think this is a topic that still needs much more work and time to be understood by the vast majority. People have gold mines within themselves and each other. Having the courage to be honest with others as well as themselves is truly one of the paths to finding them.

Wow, thanks @mikeonfire for your rich feedback! I'd love to learn what additional "work and time" is needed "to be understood by the vast majority." The need for more honesty isn't OBVIOUS?

Your perspective is so helpful. And the fact you've made time now to share it -- in the midst of your own storm -- means even that much more. A great sacrifice of time and focus. Muchas gracias, mi hermano!

My pleasure. I think it's at the heart of what I was trying to figure out how to explain and demonstrate to people through the book I was writing. And the process of understanding it's immense value. But with the circumstances as they are I'm having to get a bit more creative. Which means I've got a great idea to share in the very near future.

Woohoo, I'm excited to hear about it, @mikeonfire!

Awesome wisdom erika, I had to look up autodidact.? But great message. Nice bit of coaching in the interview. Is NVC to PC,? in our relationship with ourselves, or others ? )) Socially irreverent ? .. go for it .. ))

"I had to look up..."

See? JUST what an autodidact would do! ;-)

Restem your post sir

POW! I appreciate that, @badol1994. THANKS :-)

Thanks i hope follow and upvoted me sir

This article really hit home for me: Great video dialogue. The part that really struck a cord for me what this in the writing portion: The beauty and freedom found in relationships that are cultivated for honest engagement - as it pertains to LAVISH LISTENING. Great work here and education.

Thanks for your feedback, @whatsnap! Hey, if it strikes a chord for you, then let honest engagement be your social standard.

And if you're interested in working directly together (for Lavish Listening or Social Honesty) you can schedule yourself HERE. Or if you have more questions, feel free to PM in steemit.chat, where I'm @erikaharris

If you like your post, follow you, if you want, you can upvote me or else there is no problem. https://steemit.com/@hrsh

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