“ The grass is always greener over the septic tank.”
- Erma Bombeck...
And the adventure continues...
...as does this overwhelming feeling of dread, which I seem unable to shake...
(Don't miss Part I of this tale of woe...)
Typical septic tank layout (source)
Septic Shock...(Part II)
An Adventure in Sovereignty
by Duncan Cary Palmer
In the last episode, our hero (that would be me) has set out to remediate a sadly serious septic situation...
STILL barely working... Help me!!! (source)
The chemical flushing process...
...is separated into four doses a couple of days apart. Theoretically, the heavy-duty oxygenation will clear up the clogs; of course, your mileage may vary.
The first batch goes "down the tubes" quite rapidly, giving me a false sense of optimism. Maybe it was that crushed section of pipe between the tank and the dog-leg pipe heading to the field? We'll have to wait and see, as these chemical processes take time...
The new outlet Tee(s) (author image)
While the leach-line flush process is being completed and the prescribed delays expire, I replace the outlet pipe and Tee. Unfortunately, due to a leaky toilet, the septic tank has almost entirely filled up ahead of my expected schedule. A 4-inch ball valve is supposed to arrive from Home Depot today, just in time to beat the overflow...
Well, scratch that plan... I get the delivery from the Depot, but they have somehow managed to send a completely unrelated part. The tide is rising, and I have to invent Plan B.
Forced to be creative, I kludge in a small drain pipe and another tiny "Tee" (both Tees visible in the image above) alongside and below the main outlet. Because the small Tee is at a lower level than the main drain, I should be able to lower the tank level when necessary to fiddle with pipes downstream... and yah, that will require opening a small valve and carrying the effluent to a sinkhole in five-gallon buckets. Fun!
I temporarily cap the tank outlet,
and (to my horror) when soon thereafter the tank fills to the outlet level, effluent is seeping around my piping job... Sh*t!
OH NO! It's leaking! (author image)
I have no choice but to temporarily connect the outlet to the leach field. This at least minimizes the amount leaking around the outlet pipes. But for now, a trickle still has to soak into the dirt at the bottom of the hole. Fortunately, we're far enough from neighbors that any minor odors dissipate on the wind.
Leaky Repair (author image)
As long as things are connected, we might as well check results of the chemical flush. I tell the household to go ahead again with the showers and dishwashing, and let's see how things run?
Dashed hopes...
To my great distress, the leach line remediation effort turns out to have been a "busted flush"... The field is seriously plugged, backing up and threatening to cause the septic tank to overflow. I am forced to once more put the household on septic rationing. No showers in the two main bathrooms; use a lot of paper plates; run the dishwasher as little as possible; flush solids only.
The knife is twisting in my gut again. Truth be told, many times I step outside to relieve myself in the bushes—somebody's gotta take a load off the system, right?—just don't tell Mama! She's unhappy enough as it is.
It seems my hopes for the chemical flush have been just another fool's paradise; the field flow rate is still desperately slow. Thank God, years ago (during a garage remodel) I had put some drains on a grey water system. The third bath and relocated laundry machines are already there, so it's not every drop of water in the house that exits by way of the septic. But (for now), everyone in the house has to walk down the hall to that third bath to take their showers.
Will I ever be able to make Mama happy again?
Maybe we'll find out next time.
Hold your breath, Part III of this fiasco—in which I abandon all earlier hopes and move on to truly desperate measures—will be along before you know it.
~FIN~
I love it! You make a eloquent writing/story out of fixing the toilet. Now that is talent! Thanks my friend.
Hi Troy!
Thanks for coming by. I hope you're doing well in the midst of all the global chaos.
I have these imaginations of my great grandchildren one day finding my stories like this one and having a good laugh...:D
😄😇😉
HIVE!D
Hey, @frankbacon,
Thanks for the great photo! Looks as if you've experienced the pain as well...
My condolences!
😄😇😉