“People do not realize just how much they are putting at risk when they don’t accept what life presents them with, the questions and tasks that life sets them. When they resolve to spare themselves the pain and suffering, they owe to their nature. In so doing, they refuse to pay life’s dues and for this very reason, life then often leads them astray.
If we don’t accept our own destiny, a different kind of suffering takes its place: a neurosis develops, and I believe that that life which we have to live is not as bad as a neurosis. If I have to suffer, then let it be from my reality. A neurosis is a much greater curse! In general, a neurosis is a replacement for an evasion, an unconscious desire to cheat life, to avoid something. One cannot do more than live what one really is.
And we are all made up of opposites and conflicting tendencies. After much reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is better to live what one really is and accept the difficulties that arise as a result—because avoidance is much worse.
Today I can say: I have been true to myself I have done what I could to the best of my knowledge and conscience. Whether it was right or not, I cannot say. Suffering was inevitable in any case. But I want to suffer for those things which really belong to me.
A decisive factor for me in choosing this path was the knowledge that if I did not respond fully to my life’s purpose and challenges, then they would be inherited by my children, who would have to bear the burden of my unlived life in addition to their own difficulties. I am aware of what a heavy burden was passed on to me by my parents. Such a burden cannot simply be shaken off. You find yourself weighed down with an inheritance that you have to accept and carry around, like a snail carrying its house on its back.
Being ‘smart’ and behaving reasonably are not enough to get you through life. You may well spare yourself some trouble, but you cut yourself off from your own life in the process. I have seen the fate of those who have not lived their own lives, and it is simply horrible.
People who live out their destiny and fulfill it to the best of their knowledge and abilities have no reason for regret. In a way, Voltaire was right when he said one only has to regret surtout ce que l’on na pas fait (‘especially what we did not do’).
It is of immense importance that we as humans accept the debts incumbent on us.
In old age it is not the wonderful things that we perhaps missed out on seeing or experiencing that we will regret, but rather the moments when we let life pass us by.” — Reflections on the Life and Dreams of C.G. Jung.
@Ladyrebecca’s post yesterday, Are You Happy With Your Life Story? was one of those pieces of writing that sparked instant and deep reflection. It’s been rattling around inside my head, off-and-on, since reading the post yesterday. It made me realize what a rarity it is for people to be truly happy in this world. As I stated in my comment—They convince themselves they're content—they settle, excessively compromise to keep the peace, have secret desires they keep buried, wishes that they never see through.
Rebecca’s post really got me thinking about the many barriers to this elusive happiness and the steep prices we pay for not digging deep down within our souls and making our personal happiness our highest priority.
And then, this very morning, fate sent this quote by Carl Jung my way (thank you universe)!
Jung’s core idea, at least the way I understand it, is simple. Life presents certain tasks and challenges to us, and we must rise to meet them head-on. To dodge these dues is to cheat ourselves, to opt for a temporary feeling of safety that comes with a high cost. I’ve seen this in my own life. moments where I’ve given into fear and sidestepped discomfort—whether it was a difficult conversation, a risk I didn’t take, or a truth I just wasn’t ready to face. In the moment, it always feels like self-preservation. But Jung’s words made me realize that, almost always, it’s only postponing the inevitable. The neurosis he speaks of is hardly ever a clinical diagnosis. More often it’s the quiet unease of a life half-lived, the nagging sense that I’ve betrayed some essential part of myself, the shame of knowing you didn’t try.
Those prickly moments linger, nag us subconsciously, not as big failures but as quiet losses, the “what ifs” that whisper in the back of our minds. These moments are very effective at making us second guess ourselves and deconstructing our self-confidence in general. Jung’s wisdom pushes us to reframe suffering not as something to avoid but as a signal to ourselves and the world of a life lived fully. To suffer for what belongs to us, our truth, and our purpose, feels a hell of a lot more meaningful than suffering the emptiness and shame of avoidance.
I’m particularly struck by how Jung’s words challenge us to live with courage and accountability. Accepting “the debts incumbent on us” isn’t about being perfect or having all the answers. It’s about showing up for the messiness of life, for the contradictions within us, and for the tasks that call our name. It’s about choosing to pay now through effort, vulnerability, and honesty rather than paying later with the heavier toll of regret or neurosis. Jung’s reflection isn’t just a philosophical musing; it’s a call to action, a reminder that living authentically is both our greatest challenge and our deepest reward. This question has been following me about the world like a shadow lately, Am I living an authentic life? Maybe this is commonplace once you reach middle age and is something we should all be asking ourselves on a regular basis at whatever phase of life we’re in.
In the end, Jung leaves us all with a question. Am I willing to live what I really am, conflicts and all?
It’s a question I’ll carry with me as both a thought and a guide for the ways in which I rise to meet each moment. Because, as Jung so wonderfully reminds us, the cost of avoidance is profoundly greater than the cost of courage. The price we pay is much more valuable than money, it's sacrificing the seconds, minutes, and hours of our lives that we could be experiencing true happiness and fulfillment.
Are you living an authentic life? If not, what's holding you back from doing so?
All for now.
Beautifully written.
There's many that hold onto the story of their suffering without realizing that there's other stories to be written on top of, in addiction to, and to the side of these. I know, in particular, many men like this. I wonder if it's their ability to think creatively that limits them. The same stories oft repeated wear the sheep tracks in the mind.
I'm not sure if I'm happy, but I'm content. A world of difference. I don't suffer the bad things, just live them. Sometimes you just gotta hold on and ride.
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Thank you. I know a fair amount of people like that too. Some people seem to wrap the suffering around them like a cloak and it kind of becomes their identity, gives them self-worth (as if endless and needless suffering is a noble thing).
I don't know if it's even possible to always feel happy but if you're feeling content most of the time then I'd say you're winning at life.
Sometimes you just gotta hold on and ride. That is the God's honest truth. Bad things will happen to the best of people. The price of trying to avoid any pain or discomfort is a sheltered and uneventful life.
Several interesting topics in the publication such as authenticity in our lives, the burdens that our parents bequeathed us or the way we assume life at every moment of our lives.
In my case I live on my values and my possibilities, I do what I like and I am comfortable with it. This does not mean that I have everything I want or that I have economic comfort, on the contrary, but I have a life as authentic as possible.
As for what it is said that young people should do, I have my own criteria and I believe that everyone should live their own life, but it is necessary that they have the guidance of their parents, but they should make their own decisions and if they make mistakes, they should learn from their mistakes.
Like many others, my parents bequeathed me a legacy of values and principles that I am grateful for and that was the only wealth they left me. Thank you for sharing.
Happy weekend.
Cheers and greetings.
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Thank you very much for this recognition that I appreciate very much. Happy weekend. Cheers and greetings.
You're right, for better or worse this very much is a legacy that's left by our parents since they do so much to shape our realities as they're raising us. Happy weekend to you and thanks for reading/commenting!
I think that is definitely a hard question to answer. I think it is easy to identify all of the major life events that you are either content with or wish went the other way, but it's the smaller more benign thigs that really add up to really make your life what it is.
Yes, those small things add up. Each one is like a weight that we carry around with us.
Thoughtful in every which way, being human we doubt, are fearful, able on many occasions to rise from depth of despair to flourish.
Holding oneself accountable to forefathers is something inbred, each generation wishes to better their linage yet how many actually succeed.
Yes a difficult question to pose that would require extreme in depth reflection, knowing oneself, then being totally honest to oneself.
Thanks Joan. Thankfully the dopamine release we experience when we do stand up to our fears is even more powerful than the dread and despair felt when we dodge something that scares us. If people experience that feeling even once then oftentimes they start a chain reaction and have the courage to stand up to life's challenges more often.
All too often we simply don't want to stand out in a crowd, or make a fool of ourselves saying what we feel, overcoming that fear most definitely boosts ones character. Dig deep into courage one small step, suddenly you rewarded
Hey, Eric 😊... Nice to see your post again after my short break here, lol. First off, Jung wasn’t playing when he said dodging life’s “dues” ends up costing us way more in the long run. It's wild how we’ll hustle to avoid short term discomfort, only to sign up for long-term emptiness in return.
I love how you framed it as a call to action, not just a cute quote to repost. It’s so easy to read stuff like this and be like “wow, that’s deep” then just scroll on and do nothing. But your words shook me a bit like maybe I need to stop dodging my own tough convos, stop putting off the creative stuff I’ve buried because I’m scared it won’t be good enough. Maybe I need to stop asking for a “safe” life and start asking for a real one
I'm walking away from this ready to stop playing small. I want to own my weirdness, my fears, my dreams, all of it. Even if it’s messy. Especially if it’s messy. Appreciate you for sharing this. This wasn’t just vibes it was soul fuel. 🔥
I’ve been spending most of my time with my mom after her transplants, just roaming the internet. You can check my blog I wrote it. I'm a professional writer, incase you have suggestions and anything to hop on I'll appreciate it since I'm yet to get back on my feet after everything.
So glad to hear you've connected with this piece! I'm very sorry to hear about your Mother. I wish her a quick and full recovery. I'm close with two people who've received transplants and it's a true miracle. Thanks!
Yeahhhh!! Truly a miracle
Thanks for your kind words.
You know what's weird? Jung's advice on how to live our lives might fall on deaf ears as one chooses one's path in their youth, which, according to the same Jung, is dominated by the ego. It is only in the second half of life that one becomes focused on finding meaning and becoming his or her true self. How do you tell a young person to stop being obsessed by their career or social acceptance? How can they understand the consequences, the price they'll have to pay later in life?
I was going to lament that school doesn't teach children such things, but that would be pointless. I guess it is up to parents to tell their children to look for what gives meaning to their life and what makes them happy.
Sadly, few adults have the courage to face the very hard question of whether they have become who they were supposed to be. Who wants to face the notion they've fucked up their life?
Sorry if my comment turned a bit dark, but some of the people I had in mind when I wrote my post are rather close to me and it's incredibly sad to realize their stories won't end well.
Happy for you and the synchronicity Jung sent you :)) The same happened to me a few days ago when I was feeling a bit down and the universe responded with a video inspired by Jung that spoke to me like you wouldn't believe.
That is so true. I had a thought the other day that I wanted to explore more deeply—I was wondering if most creative talents are developed out of a need for young introverts to feed their egos, to seek attention/praise in measured ways that make them feel safe. That was likely what drove me to keep pushing forward in my teens, twenties, and even into my early thirties.
There are so many lessons to learn and false paths to avoid when we're young! It's a miracle any of us find our way out of that house of mirrors. Even if we do have parents or mentors to help guide us we need to be open to listening. I think most people probably get to a point where their suffering becomes greater than their fear of change or embarrassment that they made a huge mistake and then they course-correct.
Thanks, I'm experiencing so much synchronicity lately. It hasn't been this prevalent since my early twenties. Hopefully it lasts for a good long time. : ) I'm glad you're noticing it too when you need it. Synchronicity definitely adds a fun layer to our daily experience!
I think the load of the burden passes from one generation to the other has decreased in last decades. However, I think that it will increase again due to possible pandemics, economic crisis, AI caused unemployment.
I think that is the case. People are so much more open to therapy and speaking out when they feel they need help. The tech bros are painting a very rosy picture of the transition to AI but there definitely will be hardships along the way. The time for governments to start planning for the transition was about a decade ago, even if they start in earnest now it'll take some time for all the necessary social programs to be in place. I'm hearing 80% of jobs will be eliminated within the first decade and they're saying money, as we know it, will also be eliminated. I'm having a tough time even imagining how all that will work.
#hive #posh