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There he goes, trying to piss me off.
Have you considered feeding the jays? Corvids are competitors with bastards. If you befriend them, they will probably dive-bomb their competition. Asa bonus you'll have someone to talk to again, what with Chapman gone and all.

I don't know, I prefer to eat my food and not share it with anything else. For what it's worth when I throw stuff at birds I'm throwing warning shots because I know they'll get the message and leave me alone. When the chipmunks show up I'm aiming for their cute little heads because, as you've noted, they are bastards.

And you wonder why Champman took off with your blow torch.

Yeah well at least he didn't also take my breakfast scramble. I would have starved.

Curious why you aren't just eating the chipmunks...

Probably because I'm a terrible shot.

Try putting a peanut in a pot of boiling water. You can put a little ladder up against the pot to make it easy to climb in.