The art I carry inside: Life is a WIP (Work in progress)

in #art5 years ago

file - copia (2).jpg


Some time ago I wanted to learn to draw. In the process I noticed several things. Among them, that I am more blind than I thought, and I am not able to see reality at its 100 %; that drawing is not my thing; that I have more patience than I thought, but not enough; I can do what I want if I have a the purpose, but having a true purpose it's difficult; and that I am extremely hard on myself.

From time to time I remember this specific drawing, and it makes me learn new things every time. I could never finish it, because it got lost. I looked for it throughout the entire house and I could never find it. I had invested so much time in it, that I did not even think about starting again from scratch. Just thinking about it makes me feel lazy. I spent about 6 hours drawing just the lips, probably because it was so hard to SEE. New shadows and textures always appeared, it was magic.

I used to put so much methodism, time and effort into my drawings that I clung to them and it hurt to give them away. I only draw for people who are extremely special to me, and I can count them with one hand. It is a way of expressing something I don't have words for.

I don't even try to make this kind of drawings anymore. When I do draw, it's usually emotional, disastrous, specific, maybe sad, maybe aggressive, probably both. There are no methods, just discharge. It's no longer about learning, it is about expressing myself when words don't get anywhere, and when there are no effective ways to say what I really feel. I prefer this kind of art much more for myself.

Lindsay, the drawing, stayed like a work in progress forever, wherever it is. If I ever find it, I'll finish it. The thing is that at least my life is always like this: a work in progress, in constant construction. Sometimes I feel lazy, I go into hiatus for a long time, I don't go forward at all. Sometimes I get lost and I can't find myself in ages. Sometimes I leave things in half. Sometimes the thought of starting over gets me existentially lazy. I know what I can do if I want to, but most of the time I just don't want to.

Ah but how awesome I am when I do want to. Suddenly I have super powers when I give my 100%. Sometimes I manage to channel that person I know I am. But it's not easy.



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I tried the drawing thing for a whole year. I bought all the pencils, special erasers, everything. I thought I needed the right tools or I wasn't going to be able to make good drawings. It was obviously bullshit, those with art inside can create amazing stuff with little resources. Which led me to believe that this wasn't my thing. I could do it, sure. But it wasn't something I carried inside.

Some people carry art inside. Learning their kind of art is a process where they just learn how to channel whatever is already inside of them. This wasn't exactly it for me. It felt forced, mostly. At least these kind of drawings, because I reallly love realistic drawings. But then I discovered I also love messy drawings, and they seem more like me.

Something stayed with me: when I like someone, or if I see someone specially symetric, I get a huge urge to draw them. Doing so, I felt like I coul caress every inch of them so carefully. I can learn the shape of their lips and the way they mirror light. Art is not the thing I do, it's the thing they are.

Anyway, drawing is not for me. I'm too lazy. I only do it when I want to get dirty (lolol), or if I want to give someone special a special part of me, or if I want to touch someone and I can't hehe.

I think it's important to discover what we carry inside. What we carry will come out on its own. It will probably require some kind of effort, and maybe it will hurt. Only it won't feel forced but natural. Discovering your own way of art is a difficult thing. We want to immitate all the time. We even want to immitate reality, and what for? Who are you really? Express yourself.

Art serves no practical purpose, it is only fuel for the soul.


All drawings are obviously my own.

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At first I was super jealous of your art...then I read how long it took you...lol... Maybe I could draw like that if I took that kind of time. LOL.

Drawing takes a lot of time and patience...but there's little point in drawing "life-like" things. Might as well just get a camera. The artist is in the variations of reality. Learning techniques, including ones to draw more realistic drawings, is important, but you have to find the art inside yourself. When you look at an artists work over their lifetime, you can see that journey, trying to learn oneself.

I think for you, if you wanted to learn drawing, perhaps you need to teach yourself to not care quite as much about detail. At least not on everything. There are tricks you can learn to mimic the look of things without being so detailed.

I just get amazed by artist that create paintings/drawings that are almost picture. I understand there is not much creativity in that, but the process of observing reality is amazing. Details impress me. It's a great skill that I used to envy. But yeah, it's not me. Now I like to splash red paint everywhere and that's it.

I think that's you. Maybe you can incorporate some of that detail in the future. Make something that's deeply personal and has detail in all the right places.

I drew boobs and she had her throat cut :D

Pictures or it didn’t happen 😝 but seriously you are an amazing artist, but I totally feel you. You must be true to yourself, that is real art for me, and it always shines through. Never is it pretentious or overbearing it just flows out as it wants to.

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Thank you <3 I think I can find something in the middle, I'm still discovering what I can do. I'm glad you liked it :D

Art serves no practical purpose

Oscar Wilde would be real proud of you!

We even want to immitate reality,

I forgot who said art was art because it is not nature. But its definitely spot on. In my opinion in the end theres no better reason to make art than for yourself and for the ones you love. I think I wrote something about it not long ago.

Keep doing the thing--or in this case keep doing YOUR thing.

Btw the drawings super dope.

I think the purpose of art lies in other dimensions.

I feel like the things we create are born out of us but we're only a channel for they to come through. Art is a soul that takes over, and wants to express something, it wants to be.

but - but -that whats I say!

https://steemit.com/sndbox/@rasamuel/p3xafx3jw


Edited: I inserted wrong link at first. corrected.


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Hello @agnikana, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!