Have you come prepared? Are you ready to see:
"Oooo."
"Ahh."
Those were the words of the common folk shortly after the big event. They might just be simple monkey sounds but somehow the grunts and groans manage to get the point across.
Problem solved = Happy monkey
It took many geniuses and a few regular folks to catch this little bugger.
I'm sure they're all exhausted now and will need a few days to regenerate the lost brain cells. I can assure you, the reader of this, those sweat glands of theirs located on and around the forehead are bone dry and will need time to refill — so be nice because there's nothing worse and more annoying than an overheating code master.
What the hell am I talking about?
Updates and the ensuing bugs!
Isn't it obvious?
I mean, everyone else is talking about it, so why can't I?
When the sesquipedalianist explains, do you understand? No. Apparently, "normal" people don't — and I probably just proved that.
Maybe that's why Justin eh does that normie stuff, eh?
And now it's my turn to do something normal!
For a change.
I just want to help.
I'm a normal man looking to help some normal people.
So I better just shut up and do it already.
There was a hardfork.
Mmhmm.
And everything was going smoothly until, The Bug.
Everyone was all like:
Ew! Bugs!
But unfortunately, us normal people couldn't actually see the bugs. We all sat there, like meth heads, feeling the bugs, can't see the bugs; 100% sure the bugs are there though because what else could it be?
So, whatever. Those smart people who know their shit got to work spraying their magic can of bug spray all over the blockchain until every last little critter was twitching its way to a final breath before becoming house dust that tends to gather on all the nice things we own.
Us normal people didn't even see the geniuses working because they must move at the speed of light, or maybe even faster, since they're so smart, and probably figured out a way.
All they said was a few thousand big words nobody understands like discombobulated or some shit and then carried on their merry way.
And we don't even know what these bugs look like!
Until now.
That's right!
For the first time in history, us normal people can catch a glimpse of what these masters of the universe are up against when they get down to brass tacks and take on all evil doers!
Behold!
That's what was eating the blockchain!
Isn't this exciting!
So now you can sleep soundly knowing damn well there are some professionals out there with balls and vaginas the size of galaxies protecting us from all the things that go bump in the night.
Just look at that thing! I'm so normal I wouldn't even know how to beat it over the head with a stick or fling feces at it and here we have these geniuses who are all like, "You there! Stop eating my blockchain, bitch." No more bugs. Just like that!
Amazing!
They sure have evolved since the first one in 1947.
Maybe the cameras got better?
That's what I was thinking.
hmm, how can anyone talk ill of such a colourful bug!
Some people just can't appreciate nature...
Sad!
It is truly amazing that such a messed up, nasty looking bug could be found and squashed by a group of genius steem developers and witnesses. Thanks for giving us "normies" an insight into what this horrible little bug that tried to eat our blockchain actually looked like. I'll sleep better tonight knowing that bug is safely dealt with.
Isn't it crazy though! Just imagine what would happen if it laid eggs and those damn things were crawling out of our USB ports! How would Ned explain that one to the news?!
Man, if that thing had laid eggs, it would have taken a hell of a lot more than just a fork to get rid of them... The witnesses would have had to decentralise a whole pallet load of bug spray.
Or maybe hire Mr Miyagi. Remember when he caught that fly with chopsticks? I do.
That would do it, then he could organise to give #newsteem a coat of paint, and "wax on, wax off" so it looks new also.
Can't wax off too much though.
that could get messy
The bug was chased from the blockchain, only to be discovered at the top of trending, where he must be constantly subdued through downvotes.
I think that's a different genus. At least I know how to fling feces at those ones.
Just a question. Could it be that after 'Reginald' got that fork jammed up his ass yesterday has turned into this vicious blockchain-eating creature?
Maybe one of Reginald's crotch crickets was shook loose during the ceremony? You might be on to something here.
It has happened before you know? There are cases in which some of those crickets later on became even president of the US ...
Wait how did you see the bugs? Is there something you're not telling us :O
I have magic eyes. Twas a birth defect. Can't date women with overly bushy eyebrows because of all the mites.
How come on the ball side this feels like it is a positive trait, on the vagina side a negative? Gender conditioning I guess.
I think it's a good balance if the sizes match. Big swollen balls can be a bad thing though. Why did you have to make me actually think about what I wrote?
It is best not to question, just sit back and enjoy - and hope to touch the sides of the art.
Sitting back and enjoying is my only option now. The first line of that specimen started about an hour after the chain went down, worked on it almost steady until about 2 hours before publishing. Now to just sit and wait for all these new curators to show up! ... lol
...any minute now...
If this is toi change, it will take a little while for habits to adjust and will largely be dependent on how much the DVs can remove from or upset the bidbot business. With enough variability, they will lose some of their largest users and, curation returns at the same time. No promises, as it is up to the community.
Martha get the damn bug spray! That blockchain bug is eating me again! Ouch! It's wants my blood.
Hungry little buggers they is.
WE NEED AN EXTERMINATOR!!!!!! Damn I smell them!
That...still laughing
Excellent. That one gets me as well. I want to say I don't normally laugh at my own stuff but sometimes I do.
Same taste? Funny...and I thought I was the only weird guy around :P
HA! Wouldn't that be fun. There's a few us lurking about.
That's one ugly bug!!! Might have made a good pet...
Just watch your finger when you go to, you know, stroke it.
Mmmmm, bug stroking!
This guy kind of looks like Reginald's older brother... Coincidence?
They might be distant cousins or maybe that's Reginald's brother from another mother. I'm not even sure.
Every single hardfork without fail bugs have eaten the chain...remember the one where no images would work? The blackout? That was actually kind of fun, but of course that was in 2017 when everything steemit was awesome. I really hope to see those days again, and it turns out that's not just wishful thinking, for the first time every steemit is being listed along with facebook, twitter etc. as a social media platform to look out for, yay!
When the chain goes down, it's usually because of preventative and protective measures kicking in. It's actually a good thing. People say, "It's broken!" but really it's stopping itself from breaking until people can fix the problem. That's smart. I like it.
A little (impersonal) heads-up message. You as someone posting #fiction on #creativecoin, you might be interested in participating in this writing contest. The challenge is to write a disturbing final scene for a nutrition inspired short scifi story. The winner will win (up to) 2500 (staked)CCC (depending on the number of contenders).
I appreciate the heads-up. I rarely enter contests. Lately the part of my brain that does the fiction went on a bit of a vacation. I'm even scrapping art projects that were seemingly going nowhere. In a bit of a creative funk, possibly burning out. I like the concept but again I rarely enter contests. I always like to see the folks who are struggling a bit win these things. They need it more than me.