The room was littered with half crushed cans of Mountain Dew, used tissues crusted together with assorted bodily fluids, and old computer parts picked up from thrift stores, still waiting to be repaired. The fitted cotton jersey bedsheets had long since been kicked to the side, and the bare mattress, lying directly on the carpeted floor, revealed all manners of stains. The only comforter was a wool moving blanket. The room had no windows; it was in the basement, and the overhanging lightbulb had burned out some time ago. A psychedelic screensaver on the dual monitor and a lamp without a shade in the corner provided enough light to justify his indifference in replacing it. Jerry called his computer setup his “battle station.” From there he would spend his days arguing with strangers scattered throughout the world, venting his frustrations with his disheveled life in the basement, blaming everyone for his misfortune— except, of course, for himself.
Jerry had been a straight-B student at the local public high school. His favorite subject was math, until he got to pre-calculus. Allegedly, in 11th grade, he had been placed in a higher math class than he was qualified for due to a complete fluke of a high score on the placement test, and it had taken weeks and a some failed quizzes to realize the mistake, at which point it was too late to do anything about his grade. For a short time, he went to community college, but left after two mediocre semesters. It was no use sticking around when he wasn’t going to make the grades he needed to get into a four year university, anyway. He insisted that his low grades were due to his “femininazi” sociology professor who had it out for him and his “liberal cuck” of an English TA, because he wasn’t a beta like the rest of them. He, like all white men these days, was the victim of discrimination.
For a while, he got a part time gig at Hobby Lobby, but minimum wage wasn’t going to get him out of his mom’s basement, and his cunt of a manager wouldn’t stop talking down to him. Besides, it was a travesty that a guy with a 160 IQ (according to an online test) was wasting his time with those losers. I mean, he had such a profound and sophisticated knowledge of the world that he even understood all of the references in Rick and Morty. Now he was reaching his thirties, unemployed, and still living with his mom. On a nurse’s salary, she could barely afford to support both of them, once the mortgage was factored in, let alone save for retirement. Whatever, that bitch deserves it, he thought.
A third rate psychiatrist may have deduced from his unjustified resentment toward his mother that he held some strange beliefs about women. Truth be told, at 28 years old, he had never had a girlfriend, and was still a virgin. It wasn’t his fault. All of those hypergamous sluts would never go for an incel like him. All he wanted was to find his 18 year old virgin looksmatch, but all of those Staceys just wanted their Chads by the time they hit 14. He’d read up on The Red Pill’s pickup artist advice and it had never worked, no matter how much he negged college aged girls and exploited their innate desire to be subservient to men. This would all be resolved if we just enforced monogamy, he sighed and thought to himself, as he cuddled up against his waifu pillow.
I remembered our last conversation about giving a free write a try and I did just that. I decided to do a free write to introduce a steem basic giveaway game. It's basically a clone of battleship. Check it out here.
love how vivid it starts out, then the depth of the joke begins
hahaha classic...
Hahaha thanks! That may or may not be because I didn't realize until I wrote the last sentence of the first paragraph that I was going to write a comedy piece at all. :p Had I known I probably would have done a much lamer job of setting it up. (Lamer? Is that a word? Google dictionary says yes, but I'm skeptical.)
This is why I love freewrites. I think I'm about to write a couple of mediocre paragraphs in comment form that I'm going to post on the @freewritehouse prompt just so they don't kick me out of their contest, and then something weird materializes and I'm like, OH, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS. I LIKE THIS.
It's very good!
You sure can weave fascinating and believable characters. Great job!
Haha, thanks! Hopefully this doesn't hit too close to home for anyone :X
hahahaha
I laughed and then I felt dirty as I scratched the stubble on my neck
I laughed and then I
Felt dirty as I scratched the
Stubble on my neck
- somebuttstuff
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Holy fuck that's a good bot
I KNOW RIGHT?
I fucking love that bot. Like, seriously one of Steemit's finest assets. Whoever came up with it is a GENIUS.
Also, sorry for making you feel dirty.
Lol this sounds pretty accurate to me. You must be a great human observer!
Thanks!
Bravo! You've captured a character and scene so many of us know or have known. Just, wow.
Hahah thanks! I know it's a cheap shot but I have a slight obsession with incel culture.
hahaha I never heard the word 'incel' before
If you want to lose several hours of your life to a very depressing corner of the internet, check out the r/braincels Subreddit. Or just Google "incel." I'm sorry for introducing you to this slash you're welcome.
This is the story of a depressed fellow, common give the guy a break, he might find love.
Today's prompt is here again.
True! Depression is a bitch. Occasionally when I see people like this on the internet I give them the benefit of the doubt for that reason. Unless they're the sort that start advocating for like, actual sex slavery.
Tragically hilarious - they're an odd sort, for sure, and in no short supply on some of the... uh... less positive parts of the internet.
This actually reminds me of a short story I wrote a while back about a guy desperately trying to fix his computer, only for it to be revealed he was using it for somewhat nefarious purposes... Your character bears many striking resemblances, haha. Great write!
I wanna read it! Share!
I've since read over it again, and, well, it just isn't up to standard, haha. Sorry to disappoint!
Very fluid narration very well written... I really liked it!
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