Sometimes our emotional states can make us really absent-minded and we end up making stupid mistakes as a result. This video is a little bit about my recent experience of that and how I overcame it.
So on Thursday we went to an Industry Awards evening for the Stainless Steel industry as my dad was up for a Lifetime Achievement award for the company he created that has been going strong for over 30 years, as was one of his products. Unfortunately my dad passed away March this year from a rare bone marrow cancer topped with motor neuron disease.
I knew that when my mom had to go up to receive the award, that I would get a bit emotional but I wasn't fully prepared for how the emotion took over me completely!
It must have been this image of my mom standing there, accepting the award on my dad's behalf, in front of his photograph up on the screen.
I wasn't prepared for the linger of the emotion that followed. The whole of Friday I was so absent-minded and scatter-brained, making terrible mistakes all day long.
"True courage is the willingness to fully experience whatever you are feeling at the moment. You can attempt to run from your emotions, but eventually they will catch up with you. They will chase you, haunt you, until finally you give up the chase. "
-Brandon Bays
I've been doing a lot of reading and video watching about the power of now and the power of self-healing (which is completely related by the way).
"Emotion only lasts in our bodies for about 90 seconds. After that, the physical reaction dissipates, UNLESS our cognitive brain kicks in and starts connecting our [emotion] with past events."
-Jill Bolte Taylor
So, I decided to just do a bit of meditation, becoming completely mindful and aware of my thoughts, feelings and the state of my body. Then, instead of suppressing my emotions, to allow them to amplify and completely wash over me, and therefore out of me. It can be scary to amplify what we perceive as negative emotions, but once it's over (90 seconds later or less), complete love and wholeness takes over - and that his so therapeutic and transcending.
"Know that whatever is happening in your life right now, it's there for a reason. Just accept the things the way they are. Just relax and let go of all the mental constructs that your mind is creating. Acceptance leads to wholesome right action."
-Brandon Bays
Heeding the advice of all the wonderful information I have been learning, by fully and presently feeling an emotion that is bothering me, I have begun to notice this amazing clarity in my mind and even in the energy in my home. I am able to be a better mom, and actually I find myself my children behaving better - I think they are so sensitive to our emotional clutter!
"See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness... When you live in complete acceptance of what is, that is the end of all drama in your life."
-Eckhart Tolle
Thank you for watching, and I hope you can also find the courage to face your emotions and ultimately grow stronger because of them.
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Thanks a lot for sharing this message and the story behind your topic.
I really enjoyed watching and reading your related post with all these good quotes to underline your deep message and I fully agree with you. Thanks for the tips!
If we accept the current situation (place/time/relations/problems) and our place in life, we will achieve to be in the present moment.
And if we arrived there we have all the freedom to change the situation the way we want without any doubts and fear.
I hope you will turn the sad emotions into positive energy because that's the only important task in life.
Every person who passed away probably had the wish that we are happy with our life and we will give positive acts to others and we are not sad about the end of life of them.
This video and your post was such a positive act you did for you and the community!
####Thank you for sharing this and I wish you also a very nice day and week :)
Peace !
#engagetogrow
P.S. please never stop making videos! I like your video and you have much potential to share such positive things with us. I just followed you and stay excited for future content of you :)
Wow! Thank you - what a compliment! I nearly didn't post this video because of some technical difficulties but from the positive response I've received I am glad I persisted and could make a difference :)
I love your insight! It made me visualize a superhero flying down into the now to save the day ;) How bizarre is it that we have to train ourselves to exist presently.. We tend too much to project ourselves forward and back to try solve current issues - maybe this modern society and education drives us so far forward in our aspirations that we can't fully, presently enjoy the flow of life! That mindfulness, that present state = FLOW and flow is so very POWERFUL!
Thanks for stopping by and engaging so meaningfully! I followed you right back ;)
one good friend of mine told me once this thing, which I remember whole life: "we may not always be able what to see - but we always have choice of HOW to see it!" in other words, actually we may practice and train and after a while get used to or even become proficient at changing our perception of some particular situation or objects or ... our emotional response (its "color", intensity, etc) towards that thing. after all, that's what we do ourselves: it is we who chooses and decides how to react on something or view, perceive it! :)
but not all emotion have to be checked and curbed. some of them are actually good emotions! :)
I absolutely agree! That reminds me of something my friend also told me that the everything and everyone we encounter is a mirror of ourselves and what we need to learn in order to grow.
Thanks so much for your comment and your resteem!
Shine on! Steem on!
that is also true, although I haven't heard it from your friend. :)
figured that out myself a while ago.
basically, we create certain within - then project that externally.
thus sort of "materialize" that what we need... in brief...
but yeah, the keyword here is: GROWTH! personally.
Great! Many things here to learn. Yes agree with you we can find the courage by facing emotions. Thanks for share.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thanks so much for the resteem!
I love Eckhart Tolle and The Power Of Now
It's a good book to read to get your grounded
Glad it helped you
And so sorry about your Dad
Hugs <3
Thank you so much for the comment, vote and resteem <3
Sincere condolences for the loss of your dad. I can imagine the difficulty when losing someone in the family.
Its true that when we need to face our deepest and darkest emotions, we all struggle and sometimes we breakdown in pieces.
It's picking up the pieces that is important and the first step to everything. Stay strong
You are right! It is so important to put yourself back together but magical when you can put yourself back together even better than before the struggle :)
Love to you! <3
Sorry to hear that abt your dad.
Accepting it would sure make it easy to let go instead of just whinning about it. Sometimes it sure is hard to accept it but for or good we should embrace it and by doing so like you said it will pas away.
Thanks for bringing up the topic. Learned sth today and it sure is an important lesson.
Thank you for your meaningful engagement and for the resteem <3
A lot to be said for mindfulness. I know I need to make a routine of daily mindfulness but something "else" always gets in the way - which is stupid. There's an app called "Mindspace" that I use which I find to be helpful to guide me in.
Sorry to hear about your Dad but it looks like he had a very successful life and has left a great legacy behind. I always like to think that they are only physically gone but the spirit lives on.
Thanks for sharing your deep story, nice to feel some human emotions on the internet for a change :)
Ah, I've seen a lot of ads for Mindspace! I have been using an app called Calm which is also really good! I am trying to try and achieve that state more and more without the app - weaning myself so to speak - and that is very useful when you are not able to do a full on meditation in order to access that state..
Yeah, he really has left an awesome legacy :)
Thanks for stopping by :)
Ah yea I have seen adverts for calm too. Yea removing all distractions and just letting yourself breathe for 5 minutes sounds so easy but if you don't know what you're doing it is pretty difficult!
I am not sure what the full meditation state is like but it sounds wonderful.
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I am so sorry for your loss, please know I am sending love your way <333 I am thankful you took the extra time over the minute to share with us some great advice from your readings & personal experiences. I am presently working on the surrender/acceptance bit and this is very helpful <333
Namaste
I was just finished reading it after catching your resteem and writing a reply, you found a great steemian here! Big love!
So glad it was helpful!! :) Thank you so much for your comment - it really means so much to me! Surrender and acceptance is sometimes so hard and we tend to resist it but once we let go..... the love, light and truth that follows is so amazing, healing and transcending! <3
Namaste
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Wow! Such an honour again! Thanks so much!
Beautiful post @wildwanderer. For some reason I have issues with dtube videos. It's sad that your dad didn't make it to the ceremony, but I am sure he was there in spirit. Hopefully he knew about his award prior to his passing.
It's amazing when you're able to see your feelings for what they are, let them do their thing and pass. To me it's empowering. Life has gotten so much better when you value the moment than dwell on the past. The better I get more stress free life becomes and the better my relationship is with myself.
Overall very inspiring.
Thanks so much for the lovely comment and your insight 💙 Unfortunately my dad wasn’t aware of his award before passing but I’m sure he was there in spirit..
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You're very welcome. It's a shame the award came after, still a great thing and memory of your father.
Thank you so much for this post @wildwanderer, and I'm so sorry to hear about your father; I can certainly understand why all of those emotions surfaced at the awards ceremony for him.
I've read The Power of Now and found it very interesting; but if and when you do, there's no such thing as stress anymore! Thank you again for sharing this:)
I’m so glad you enjoyed this post 🦋
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First time watching your Dtube!!
I'm so happy to see a well written description in the post!
I love "Eckhart Tolle"
I'll consume the following advice for now...
"When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness"
See you here again with Dtube and Happy November :)
Thank you so much for taking the time to check out my post :) I think sometimes I talk too much :P
Ah, Eckart Tolle is mind blowing!!!
Happy November to you too :)
This post is sponsored by @SteemitBloggers in collaboration with @appreciator. Just keep up the good work.
Hi Saffa!
I didn't watch your video as I run on mobile phone data and not normal internet :P BUT... luckily I got to read!
The self healing is the next trick I want up my sleeve also, for me I have the repeating "getting pissed off" with small things, like waiting to cross a busy street when nobody wants to stop for "poor me who's got to go get the bus in the rain".. Repetitive mind patterns of the imaginary self!
I was bang on it for a few years even when I think back now, complete awareness of the mind and daily meditation, beautiful rythum.. But then usually what happens is a rythum thats good for the I, is then changed when external situations change, the classic being like meeting a woman and then suddenly there's 2 me's and well.. Ive not been lucky enough yet to meet a woman that meditated and most likely wouldn't change this nice rythum of yoga and meditation. But as we know, when it shall, it shall etc etc !
Its so mad how quick the mind gets back into complaining mode, if I skip 2 days back to back with no med, then it can easily turn into 2 weeks before I stop and say "hey when did I last stop and be still?!", and realize the minds been in power so quickly relapsed drinking coffee again etc..
We are changing though, by every word we write, by every word we
read of hear from others like yourself, and so we are only progressing!
I was going to post relating to the self, but after reading a responding, I think I'll just go for 10 mins and close the eyes, and then write something!
Wow! What a deep and meaningful response! I love this thank you!
Self Healing is such an amazing possibility that it seems the powers of modern society want to strip us of by elevating doctors, pharmaceuticals, psychologists, etc. over the possibilities of nutrition and meditation - and I love how you abbreviated it to med - as it should be the only meds we should be on!
If you are interested in self healing - these are a couple of great authors that have crossed my path recently: Brandon Bays (particularly her book "The Journey" - really digs into the "how-to" -she healed herself from a cancerous basketball sized tumor in 6 weeks), Joe Dispenza (I've been watching alot of his Youtube vids and he is amazing too - if you have a chance to connect to some WiFi I highly recommend him! -he healed himself from a Spinal injury in 12 weeks!).. I'll just give you those two for now but there are more and more people that are proving the effectiveness of self healing!!
Regarding your "relapses" - ever thought of doing NLP? - with a bit of reading you can probably learn to do it yourself.. but otherwise, try @ladyofavalon's post: Meditation Excercise
This has helped me with a few things like anger and the saddness :)
Have a wonderful weekend! And thanks for also resteeming <3
☺
Thanks for the two suggestions of who to find, I will look for their work later! That sound mental, healing the cancer and the spine! I know its real though as when I was younger a friend of the family broke his forearm, and repaired it in two weeks by himself,he studied karate at a very hi level and even got invited to sharolin temples to learn. I was like 11 but I remeber this!
Did you ever noticice the words meditation and medication are so close to eachother 😉
Nealry forgot to ask,what is NLP?
Wow! Awesome story about your friend!
It’s so affirmative to me that those words are so similar that we have so much power when we harness our minds!
So NLP is short for neuro linguistic programming.. so you go for a session with a NLP practitioner and they use specific language to guide you through a session to clear negative belief patterns that you have sub consciously formed likely from incidents from when you are young - NLP has proven very successful with varying things from phobias, to weight loss, to breaking through into new income brackets etc
I know it sounds a bit like hypnosis but it’s not 🌈
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Thank you for sharing this message. I just was talking with my daughter in law who lost her dad recently about allowing the grief to come and experience it - and I mentioned Edgar Tolle to her as well.
Hugs to you.
It’s hard but so important to not suppress the emotions- you’ve definitely recommend the right book to help her through it 🌈💙 my heart goes out to her!
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thank you so much. I played your video for her and she really liked it.
Our emotion gets worse by listening to what others are saying..which put us at a risk of madness....i did not saw #dtubesnap but reading the pharases make me belive you got a strong head on your shoulder.....
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Thanks so much 🌈💕
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Good post, thanks
What wonderful insights @wildwanderer and you nailed your video! :)
Learning to process emotions is something I doing constantly as part of my self-awareness and self check too. Of course I never have everything figured out but I love what you advise about:
Love this snap and the write up so much, thank you for sharing it in the midst of your emotions! My condolences and love to you for the loss of your dad, hugs 💕 I'm glad to see you taking time to process your grief and understand your emotions welling up when your mom received the award. He must be so proud of the both of you.
Thank you so much 😘
Self-awareness practice and check is such a wonderful habit to form! Glad you are enjoying the benefits of this also!
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Your Dad must have been a hell of good guy and very talented to build his company and have it last thirty years in a industry like the specialized steels.
I your thoughts and advice on the emotional aspect are equally good and worth contemplation for sure. Thanks for sharing it via #steemitbloggers.
Thanks so much 🤗 Yeah my dad was incredible businessman, husband and father! I don’t know how he got all that nailed down so well 💙
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You are most welcome. Obviously I didn't know your father but my guess would be he got all that nailed down so well because he cared about being the best at all those roles you mentioned. That is a characteristic that is common in people who are successful in many roles.
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Wow! Firstly, it is so nice to read this from a fellow South African. Secondly, my condolences on your loss. As I still have both my parents, I cannot imagine your loss. Thirdly, I really needed to read this today. It's been an emotional trying time for me due to personal reasons I choose not to share publicly. Just know that your words have settled deep in this author's heart.
I will be following your posts closely.
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This is magnificent and clean!!
Thank you :)
Spam, I just flagged all your computer generated comments..