ENGLISH VERSION
Hello Beautiful People! Let's talk about pain, that feeling that seems to be so negative, and that we all have experienced. But today I want to show you how far it is from being so. It is a pleasure to be able to share it through this beautiful community.
The truth is that I have learned that pain teaches us many of life's greatest lessons. Although it may seem incredible, pain even teaches us to love, despite being such a contrary feeling. Or at least we think so. Through pain we learn that the love we gave wasn't enough, or maybe it wasn't the healthiest, or we didn't manage to show it as much as we felt it. Or that we were simply not reciprocated.
Pain teaches us how we should and should not act. Although in many situations we fail to understand what we should learn. Many misunderstand that pain was made to teach us to be better, not the opposite. It is pain that opens our eyes. Without pain there is no love, and without love there is no pain.
Let me explain myself better: I know that it has happened to all of us at some time that we have felt disappointed, and this has usually been something very painful for us. But have you ever stopped to think, why does a disappointment hurt us so much? Or simply why do we get disappointed in someone?
You've heard the saying that the people you love the most are the ones who hurt you the most! And not because others didn't try to hurt you, but because the more you love someone, the more any disappointment, no matter how small, will hurt you. But that's not bad, not at all. It just shows us how much we love that person and the capacity with which we can love.
Many times I have sat and questioned myself, what I feel or what I perceive, and if it is the right thing to do. I do a self-analysis to determine if it's good or bad, if it's right or wrong. And believe me, many times I feel disappointed in myself. For not meeting my own expectations.
So let's think for a moment, if we are capable of disappointing ourselves, why do we expect anyone else to disappoint us? Disappointment is nothing more than realizing that people cannot always meet our expectations. Many times we blind ourselves and create very high expectations of someone just because of the love or appreciation we have for them.
Doesn't seem fair, does it? Maybe you never thought about it until now, or at least not in that way. It is very easy in the midst of our pain to judge others instead of ourselves. We always think, Why is this happening or doing this to me? Why to me?
But very little do we ask ourselves, Why does it hurt so much? Should I feel this way? Am I overreacting? Sometimes it is difficult to see that "something" is not working as we would like, because sometimes that can also mean that "something" is failing in me.
That's why many say: -From pain I learned not to believe, not to trust and not to love. Let me tell you that if you ever thought you learned this, you could not be more wrong. You did not learn anything, rather you unlearned, if that can be written like that. In short, you went backwards in your learning.
I firmly believe that anything we "learn" that does not improve us or help us in any good way, is not learning. Learning is to improve us, not to destroy us or others.
The pain of feeling betrayed should only teach you not to betray. The pain of physically losing someone you love, should only teach you that we are not eternal and you must always show your love. It also teaches us the great capacity we have to love. The pain of disappointment should only teach you not to disappoint others, nor demand so much from others.
The pain of heartbreak should teach you to make better choices without being driven by passion. Love increases the passion between two souls, but very rarely passion has the strength to fuel love. And if on the other hand the heartbreak was because of you, it should teach you to get rid of prejudices and love with the freedom to show everything you feel.
Family pain should only teach you that no matter how well you think you have known a person all your life, they will always surprise you. That no one is perfect and that love is about accepting those even with their flaws. This is one of the strongest pains, and that is because we are very close to those people, even more so with those with whom we have been raised for a lifetime, we have a special bond with them whether we want it or not.
The pain of being betrayed by a friend only teaches you that those you are friends with are not always your friends too. And that if you decide to be friends, you should do so without waiting for them to hold you in equal esteem, that only happens with a few. In many cases you will be more friends with them than they will be with you, and in many other cases they will be more your friends than you will be with them. That's the way it is, and you must accept it to live better. Be the friend you never had but always wanted to have.
Some of the greatest lessons of my life, I learned through pain. Many times it caused me to shut down and harden my feelings. I had the wrong approach. I had thought I had learned, but I had not. It was necessary to go through the same thing again, sometimes more than others, in order to learn. And I believe that life is like that, the less we learn, the more it is determined to teach us the lesson.
I learned when I took the time to stop and think differently, no longer why me, but what should I learn? I made a resolution to myself one day, that out of everything bad that will happen to me, something good must come out of it. And I learned not to take things so personally. And to be careful not to cause the same thing that hurt me, in others. And I'm still in the struggle of that constant practice.
Pain teaches us how I want to be treated, and how I should treat others. It teaches us how I want to be loved, and how to love others. It teaches us how I should treat and love myself. One thing I am sure of is that when we learn the lesson we don't repeat it. And if we repeat it, it doesn't hurt anymore.
Our life is a constant evolution and it comes through learning. Let's always try to learn in the best way. I hope that if you have passed through here, you have taken something good with you. Thanks for your time.
See you soon!
VERSIÓN ESPAÑOL
¡Hola Gente Bella! Hablemos del dolor, ese sentimiento que parece ser tan negativo, y que todos hemos experimentado. Pero hoy quiero mostrarles lo lejos que está de serlo en realidad. Es un gusto poder compartirlo a través de esta hermosa comunidad.
La verdad he aprendido que, el dolor nos enseña muchas de las más grandes lecciones de la vida. Aunque parezca increíble el dolor incluso nos enseña a amar, a pesar de ser un sentimiento tan contrario. O bueno al menos eso creemos. A través del dolor aprendemos que el amor que dábamos no era suficiente, o tal vez no era el más sano, o no logramos demostrarlo tanto como lo sentíamos. O que simplemente no éramos correspondidos.
El dolor nos enseña como debemos y no debemos actuar. Aunque en muchas situaciones no logramos entender que es lo que debemos aprender. Muchos mal entienden que el dolor se hizo para enseñarnos a ser mejores, no todo lo contrario. Y es que, es el dolor el que nos abre los ojos. Sin dolor no hay amor, y sin amor no hay dolor.
Deja que me explique mejor: Sé que a todos alguna vez nos ha pasado que nos hemos sentido decepcionados, y esto generalmente ha sido algo muy doloroso para nosotros. Pero nunca se han detenido a pensar, ¿por qué nos duele tanto una decepción? ¿O simplemente por qué nos decepcionamos de alguien?
Han escuchado eso de que, ¡A quienes mas amas son quienes más te hieren! Pues sí, así es. Y no porque otros no intenté hacerte daño, sino que mientras más amas a alguien más te dolerá cualquier decepción por pequeña que sea. Pero eso no está mal, para nada. Eso solo nos demuestra lo mucho que amamos a esa persona y la capacidad con la que podemos amar.
Muchas veces me he sentado a cuestionarme a mí misma, lo que siento o lo que percibo, y si es lo correcto. Me hago un auto análisis para determinar si es bueno o malo, si está bien o está mal. Y créanme, muchas veces me siento decepcionada de mí misma. Por no cumplir mis propias expectativas.
Entonces pensemos por un momento, si somos capaces de decepcionarnos a nosotros mismos, ¿Por qué pretendemos que nadie más nos decepcione? La decepción no es más que darnos cuenta que las personas no pueden siempre cumplir con nuestras expectativas. Muchas veces nos cegamos y creamos muy altas expectativas de alguien solo por el amor o aprecio que le tenemos.
No parece ser justo, ¿cierto? Quizás nunca lo habías pensado hasta ahora, o por lo menos no de esa manera. Es muy fácil en medio de nuestro dolor juzgar a otros en vez de a nosotros mismos. Siempre pensamos, ¿Por qué me está pasando o haciendo esto? ¿Por qué a mí?
Pero muy poco nos preguntamos, ¿Por qué me duele tanto? ¿Debería sentirme así? ¿Lo estoy exagerando? A veces es difícil ver que "algo" no funciona como quisiéramos, porque en ocasiones eso puede significar también que "algo" está fallando en mí.
Por eso muchos dicen: -Del dolor aprendí a no creer, a no confiar y a no amar. Déjeme decirle que si alguna vez usted pensó que aprendió esto, no pudo estar más equivocado. Usted no aprendió nada, más bien deshaprendio, si es que eso puede llegar a escribirse así. En fin retrocedió en su aprendizaje.
Creó firmemente que todo aquello que "aprendemos" y que no nos mejora ni ayuda en nada bueno, no es aprender. Los aprendizajes están para mejorarnos, no para destruirnos o destruir a otros.
El dolor de sentirte traicionado, solo debe enseñarte a no traicionar. El dolor de perder físicamente a alguien amado, solo debe enseñarte que no somos eternos y debes siempre demostrar tu amor. También nos enseña la capacidad tan grande que tenemos para amar. El dolor de la decepción, solo debe enseñarte a no decepcionar a otros, ni exigir tanto de los demás.
El dolor de un desamor, debe enseñarte a escoger mejor sin solo dejarte llevar por la pasión. El amor aumenta la pasión entre dos almas, pero muy pocas veces la pasión tiene la fuerza para avivar el amor. Y si por el contrario el desamor fue por tu causa, debe enseñarte a quitarte los prejuicios y amar con la libertad de demostrar todo lo que sientes.
El dolor familiar solo debe enseñarte que por más que creas conocer a una persona de toda la vida siempre lograrán sorprenderte. Que nadie es perfecto y que el amor consiste en aceptar a aquellos aún con sus defectos. Este es uno de los dolores más fuertes, y eso se debe a que estamos muy unidos a esas personas, aún más con aquellos con quiénes se han criado toda una vida, con estos tenemos un vínculo especial lo querramos o no.
El dolor de ser traicionado por un amigo, solo te enseña que no siempre de quienes eres amigo son tus amigos también. Y que si decides ser amigo, debes hacerlo sin esperar a que te tengan en igual estima, eso solo se da con algunos pocos. En muchos casos tú serás más amigo de ellos que ellos de ti, y en otros muchos ellos se mostrarán más tus amigos que tú de ellos. Es así, y debes aceptarlo para vivir mejor. Sé el amigo que nunca tuviste pero siempre quisiste tener.
Algunas de las más grandes lecciones de mi vida, las aprendí a través del dolor. Muchas veces me hizo cerrarme y endurecer mis sentimientos. Tenía un enfoque equivocado. Había creído aprender, pero no era así. Fue necesario volver a pasar por lo mismo, algunas veces más que otras, para aprender. Y es que creo que la vida es así, mientras menos aprendamos, más se empeña en enseñarnos la lección.
Aprendí cuando me tomé el tiempo de detenerme a pensar de manera diferente, no más ¿Por qué a mí? Sino, ¿Qué debo aprender? Me propuse a mí misma un día, que de todo lo malo que me pasará, algo bueno debía salir. Y aprendí a no tomarme las cosas tan a pecho. Y a tener cuidado con no causar lo mismo que me hirió a mí, en los demás. Y sigo en la lucha de esa práctica constante.
El dolor nos enseña como quiero ser tratado, y como debo tratar a los demás. Nos enseña como quiero ser amado, y como amar a los demás. Nos enseña como debo tratarme y amarme. Algo de lo que estoy segura es que cuando aprendemos la lección no la repetimos. Y si la repetimos, no duele más.
Nuestra vida es una constante evolución y está viene a través del aprendizaje. Procuremos siempre aprender de la mejor manera. Espero que sí pasaste por aquí, algo bueno te hayas llevado. Gracias por tu tiempo.
¡Nos leemos pronto!
Una gran verdad @sarybeth el dolor debe traerme un aprendizaje y con el dolor el perdón, porque sino se perdona ese dolor se convierte en una espina que te hiere una y otra vez; como se sana ese dolor, se hace con el perdón de corazón por amor a mi misma. Bendiciones
Así es! Pero sanamos cuando entendemos que todo es un aprendizaje para bien, ahí damos paso a ese perdón. Quien no aprende difícilmente logra perdonar. Muy acertado eso del perdón. 🤗
El dolor y el amor van de la mano, no se pude sentir uno de esos sentimientos y que después llegue el otro. ¿El orden en que llegan? varia de cada situación: pero del dolor se aprende muchas cosas todas esas que nombras son un claro ejemplo de que debe tomarse como lecciones de vida.
Así es @jcrodriguez van de la mano, porque sin no amarnos no nos dolería. Pienso que tal vez el amor llegó primero, tengo la loca teoría de que sí no te duele es porque no te afecta, y si no te afecta es porque no hay amor. Ya sea en lo que haces o cualquier tipo de relacionamiento. Nos duele lo que amamos. O valoramos!
Pero a veces no descubrimos la presencia del amor hasta que nos duele, y tal vez solo por eso, parezca que pueda llegar primero el dolor. Pero no me había sentado a pensarlo hasta que lo mencionas.
Lo importante es aprender la lección, así no toca repetirla aunque a veces es inevitable. Pero ya ¡vamos aprendidos!
Gracias por pasarte y dejar tu comentario. Lo apreció mucho. Un abrazo fuerte 🤗
Hola querida @sarybeth que hermosas palabras las que has plasmado en tu escrito, nos ha gustado mucho lo que dices:
Son palabras muy ciertas y sabías, lo mejor que podemos hacer cuando nos invade la tristeza, es aprender pero se una manera que nos permita crecer, no guardar rencores dentro o endurecer nuestro corazón, sino cultivar buenas cualidades. Gracias por compartir con nosotros esta bella publicación. 💓
Muchas gracias @hive-102879 ☺️ Es bueno transmitir lo poco o mucho que podemos aprender. A veces nos toma años, pero vale al 100% la pena. Y nada que nos dañe puede llamarse aprendizaje. Aunque a veces el dolor es muy fuerte, termina siendo un gran maestro.
Cultivar esas buenas cualidades, como dices, es lo más importante!
Muchas gracias por tomarse el tiempo de leerme. Un abrazo fuerte 🤗
Loved your photos with this... it was a whole story and more with the images leading me through it.
Funny thing... I had this thought simmering this week. Mostly ignored or pushed down again, I suppose. And your story just reminded me of it... yet I still can't remember exactly what it is. Which means it's something important. To learn. And painful. Of course.
.......
I remember. It was something along the lines of how imperfect I am and how harshly I've judged someone at times. That was it. Because I did love him. And he did disappoint me. And I couldn't (and still can't quite) separate the behaviour from being something personal.
More thought now. I think I need to let this one simmer and rise slowly.
Thank you for your beautiful, honest, raw and courageous post.
This one's really going to help me shift some stuff. 👍
Thank you, they are mine. I found that it would be quicker to get the photos taken than to look for them. I'm glad you liked them.
I often get that too, short but deep thoughts of some personal situation, it's like a reflection in a random moment. But I pay a lot of attention to them like you, because it always turns out to be something important.
I'm glad you remembered it. It's hard to judge ourselves, we tend to be more patient when it's about us. Disappointments from those loved ones besides being very painful mark us strong. But that's because of how much we love them. Seeing the storm from above gives us a calmer perspective than seeing it from below. Because being inside the storm is not the same as being outside of it.
First we "put ourselves in their shoes," that is, in their shoes. We often fail. And if it is us we always think we deserve a new chance, but it is difficult for us to give it to others. Second to heal, think about it every time it is necessary, but not to make it hurt more, but to make it hurt less. You will see that if you set your mind to it, you will see everything differently. The weight of pain caused by others is a very heavy and sometimes unbearable burden.
After this:
I hope to get to read it too! It will make me very happy.
As always, I'm grateful that you come here to read me and for your valuable comments, I appreciate them very much.
I love that you managed to get something good out of this, it makes me very happy. A big hug @nickydee 🤗
I think you're so very right about this and am really glad I came to check in with you!
Yes. Now that you've clarified it for me...it is just like this. Easier to forgive ourselves and even those we don't care for very much because they hurt us less
And ourselves because we know we don't mean to hurt people.
I'll give this a lot of thought. And when I have a better understanding I may very well write about it 👍
But this one will take some time to fully understand
Sending love. I'm also glad I'm connected to you and your very excellent mind 🥰
Muy bien dicen que el dolor es la mejor prueba de que estamos con vida, solo los vivos podemos sentir. Saludos 😊
Muy cierto! Y esa es la mejor parte. Gracias por pasarte y dejar ese valioso comentario. ¡Me encantó!
Saludos @irenenavarroart 🤗
I so agree with your wise thoughts sis. Pain teaches us the best lessons. Perhaps it is learning the worst way. I must say that pain is the best teacher in life. I hope you are doing well. Have a nice time my friend.
Thank you very much for reading me and leaving your valuable comment @pinkchic ☺️
That's right, it's a strong learning, as you say:
Strong hug 🤗
The pleasure is mine and I enjoyed reading your wise thoughts about pain in life. I hope you are having a great time today sis. Keep safe always and stay optimistic.
Thank you very much! Same to you, take care of yourself a lot and smile always strong 🤗.
Betrayal can be so hard to get over and work through, but with time and self compassion, it is possible to regain love for life and for oneself, remembering the lessons of how it felt to be betrayed and then ensuring that you would not inflict that on another. We are all human, all fallible. We make mistakes, it's in our nature, but it's also the best opportunity to learn and to walk the high road, to be a better version of ourselves.
Indeed it is, feeling betrayed brings with it more than one mixed feeling. But it is possible to overcome, with a lot of desire of course. And learning from it is the best thing we get out of so much pain.
And that is the smartest goal we can wish for in this life.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate your comment. Regards @emma-h 🤗
I've been betrayed enough times to write a book on it and yet, I don't hate those that did it, I almost pity them because I now realise that they didn't deserve to have my undying and unquestionable loyalty to begin with. I've let them all go to continue with their journey as I do my own.
Have a beautiful day 🦋
A very wise and courageous decision. It is not easy to overcome betrayals, especially if there are many of them.
It has happened to me many times too. But I still believe, because I understood that we give much of what we really are. And as you say; I end up pitying them instead of me.
The best thing is that we have left all that behind and we move forward with more enthusiasm.
A hug 🤗
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