For something different, paramedics visited last night, as I was feeling so terrible, my wife wanted me to go to the hospital. Perhaps once every year or two, I get a migraine, but yesterday it was so bad that I wasn't sure of it was a migraine, food poisoning, or some kind of brain aneurysm. I am not one to generally complain that much about pain - this was bad.
A few years ago, one of my friends who got migraines went to the hospital and a few hours later, died from an an aneurysm. She was a couple years younger than myself and left behind a young child.
It worries me a little.
The warning signs of a brain aneurysm
- A severe headache that comes out of nowhere (often described as the worst headache one has ever felt)
- Blurred vision.
- Feeling nauseated.
- Throwing up.
- Seizure.
- A stiff neck.
- Sensitivity to light.
- Double vision.
I had all of these things last night.
While I don't care that much for my own life, I still consider that my life carries a fair amount of responsibility in regards to my wife and daughter. It is not that if I did die they wouldn't be able to survive, but I also think that it would likely put a fair amount of pressure on them and of course, it is very hard to predict how for example, my daughter would react and what kinds of effects it would have on her as she matures.
My wife's brother-in-law died from cancer at just over 30 years of age, leaving behind two small children and while they have grown well, this isn't always the case, as some kids end up defining their life by the early death of a parent. Not only this, the surviving parent can be deeply traumatized by the loss of a partner and this can also have profound affects on the family going forward.
No one really knows how they are going to react under these kinds of circumstances and it is hard to prepare for these things emotionally. For me, I do spend time imagining the worst case scenarios in an attempt to come to some kind of emotional understanding, but it isn't the kind of thing that is comfortable to do, so most people will not.
However, while emotional preparation is difficult, at least I am able to do some kind of financial preparation, so that at least there will be something for my family in the advent of my untimely demise. The challenge is that the majority of it is in crypto and my wife has no idea about what to do with it. Because of this, I have to make sure that there is someone I can trust (she can trust) that will be able to help her manage the myriad tokens and platforms.
This isn't easy to do, as it is far more complicated than just being able to buy or sell, since all of the platforms work in different ways, have multiple keys and a thousand other considerations. While many people complain about how complicated using the platforms is, it is far easier than trying to teach someone who isn't overly interested in the technical sides of things to work it all out. For me, I hope that if something happens to me, my brother will able to help my wife manage what needs to be done.
But, since I would be gone, I would have no choice in what really happens with it all and I don't know what my brother will recommend. For example, since my wife isn't necessarily going to be keen on being active on Hive, will it be better to unstake and sell into some other token like BTC, or cash out instead? Would it be better to cash everything out for her and pay all the debts she can, so that she and my wife won't have to have any pressing financial concerns?
While I have no say in that future, even after my death, I would still carry some kind of responsibility, because of what I did in my life. I think that a lot of people seem to think that post death their responsibility ends, but I think this is is also why a lot of people don't act well during their lives in regard to things like pollution. People see to think that "it doesn't matter because I will be dead", but if they have children, what people do now is going to have long-ranging effects on the future.
In regards to financial considerations for my wife and daughter, what I am doing now can fundamentally improve their economy for the rest of their lives, even if I am not there to see them benefit. I think that this is part of parenting in general, where while we hope to see our children succeed in life, we want the to succeed, even if we don't see it. Having some extra money to use doesn't necessarily help them deal with the sense of loss, but at least while they are grieving and reorganizing their lives together, they won't have to struggle to make ends meet.
Of course, I don't really want to die yet, but I have limited control over my life in this regard. It isn't nice to have to think about these things, but at least having some basic plans in place can help those who survive me to have a slightly easier time of it.
Last night, I didn't want to go to the hospital alone, but I would have had to because Smallsteps was asleep and I didn't really want her to see me in that kind of pain either. While my wife was waiting for the ambulance, I went into her room and gave Smallsteps some kisses and told her I love her, even though she wasn't awake and if something did happen, she would never know I had visited her.
It is strange isn't it? Life comes with no guarantees but when we are reminded of our own mortality, we try to make an impact on the world in some way. I give kisses, hugs and tell my daughter I love her daily, yet in those final moments - the past doesn't seem to matter and I had to say it one more time, even if she didn't hear it.
I don't think I will ever be prepared to say goodbye to her for good.
But at some point, it is going to happen regardless.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Glad you're still with us, mate. My wife knows to call @holoz0r and let him deal with it.
I think she'd be happy to take over my splinterlands collection and keep playing, but everything else she'd leave in his capables. Gotta admit its quite comforting.
The inverse is also true. :|
Let us live long lives that does not require this phone call either way.
At least she will get some practical usage out of it :)
Let's hope the call isn't needed for a very long time.
Don't worry, live with this awareness. Don't pressure and stress yourself and try to be light-hearted and try to sleep a little more. Try to be emotionally strong and find an inner serenity.
I am getting more sleep fr sure -even being allowed to sleep in a bit. So that's a bonus :D
I'm glad you're feeling better now and can share this. Life is fleeting and sometimes we tend to take our good health for granted. I don't know the psychology behind it but I've noticed men find it difficult to go to hospital. Perhaps it is the feeling of vulnerability that comes from being there.
It's a very difficult conversation to have with a loved one and Funny enough, I'm in a similar situation as all my investments are in crypto. My wife knows a thing or two about hive and stuff but she doesn't know anything else. Her knowledge of Hive means she knows how keys work, so she has all my keys. She's holding it as back up but in reality, it's also an "in case if emergency" thing. I also try to teach her about how stuff works, so she can access it if I'm incapable of doing so. It's a scary thought but it's the only way.
I have been there a bit, but last night I had a pretty bad feeling and didn't want to go there a lone. My wife thought I was going to die too. Not a great night.
I use LastPass for my passwords and if something happens to me, my brother will be able to manage most of what needs to be done through there. It is hard to find someone to trust though, especially when there is quite a significant amount to think about. I wish my wife would spend time learning about this.
One of the challenges of having responsibility of wealth is - having to consider all aspects of it, even after death.
After reading your post, I reminded myself once again how short life could be.
Here I was worried about a small thing that didn't turn out well for me today. I was all focused on how my life is today.
But what makes me angry today, I might not even remember it in a year.
In all this noise around me, often I forget to spend quality time with my family. I know, when the death comes, I won't think about why I didn't made more money or why I didn't travel to one more place.
But the question that will bother me is why I didn't spend more time with my family. Why didn't I tried to make them more happy.
A quote that helps me in tough times is:
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca, On the Shortness of Life
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I hope you are okay now and will regain your health. keep sharing your wisdom with us all.
So much of our lives are spent worrying about useless stuff.
That is a great quite - fits very well for crypto!
I'm so sorry that you had this scare but am happy you came out of it okay! Something like that would be such a potent reminder of what is really important.
After turning 50 a few days ago I'm thinking about these things lately myself. Like you, I have a lot of passwords and tokens in multiple places. I've considered consolidating everything and putting the info into a safety deposit box.
Take care of yourself, @tarazkp.
Thanks mate.
I use LastPass, which records all the passwords and I add notes and then, I print them all out occasionally and store them safely, as well as getting an encrypted copy to my brother.
Having dealt with the exact same issues and symptoms at different times in my life i can sympathize. Although my brain stuff stemmed from PTSD, past TBIs, and inflammation issues from diet.
Recently I found some relief by visiting a neurochiropractor as well as doing neurofeedback training(infra-low).
Kangen water also helped a lot.
Cheer up dude! You might just need some simple adjustments with your spine and/or diet.
I hope you seek alternative forms of medical help like the ones i mentioned before inconjuction with the western medical treatments/tests your receiving.
I hope all will settle out in your favor and that more positive thoughts permeate into your world.
P.S. Kangen water has helped me BIG time with inflammation considering it is loaded with antioxidants and is microclustered.
What is this?
I definitely need spine and diet fixes....
I have never heard of Kangen water either...
Lots of weird things to Google! :D
I love https://scholar.google.com
There are 3-4 different types of neurofeedback therapy.
The one i did involved infralow ekgs where as other types have low frequency or high frequency waves. Its argued that infralow is more effective for ptsd and brain damage people even MS but some people just need not as many treatments or as low of frequencies.
Its basically the next evolution in biofeedback therapy.
Neurofeedback uses ekg frequencies to interface your brain with a computer and by doing so these EKGs waves which are very subtle and you don't feel can help your brain get out of patterns that can cause brain damage and other issues usually you just watch TV and that's it
Very sorry to hear that you suffer from that condition. I have known others who have chronic migraines and cannot imagine the level of pain one must suffer not to mention the mental and emotional stresses.
Very best wishes to you and yours. Hope to enjoy your contributions to a better world for many years to come.
Blessed be
I have had migraines before - but this was a new level. I had a feeling that it was ,going to turn out very bad, but I am glad it didn't.
I’m glad you are feeling better . It can be pretty scary , especially when you have loved ones that depend on you .
Oh gush!awful experience indeed . I trust you're feeling better and that the medical folk did the necessary tests for you? The effects this can have is enormous. My prayer for you is that you will be heal and have a sound health soon in jesus mighty name (Amen).
I am okay, just sore today. The EMTs did their job and were here in about 5 minutes weirdly.
What an awful experience. I trust you're feeling better and that the medical folk did the necessary tests?
Not nice but necessary thinking. I had best apply my mind - not because of children so much, but The Husband is a techno and crypto phobe...
Be well!
I am feeling better now, but my head is sore and still foggy.
My wife is the same - she seems to actively avoid learning in this area.
Despite the situation, one need to push forward. I have seen someone who died leaving four children and his wife behind. They could not push forward because those children were still in their tender ages. The wife on the other hand could not cope with life just because of the love she had for her husband and after some months, she died.
The children were on earth alone and fending for ways to survive.
So, we should always take care of our health as the much as possible so that we will not have cause to leave our families just like that on earth.
I'm so happy that you are fine now and your daughter will indeed be happy to have you back.
You will never be prepared to say goodbye now because it is not yet time for you to leave. God shall give you strength and revive you. He alone shall save you.
It is a terrible situation and I hope they are able to find ways to manage. The effects this can have is enormous.
Taraz you made me cry.
I am so glad and relieved that you are ok and that you get to give Smallsteps lots more hugs and kisses. It's also good that you know warning signs of what it could be and that you did go to the hospital as difficult as it was to do alone.
I totally get what you are saying in your post and I'm quite sure that Galen would be totally capable to help your wife with things, but yes, facing our mortality is such a difficult one especially when we have young children. It is something that nags at the back of my mind all the time.
My husband and my circle has been cut back substantially in the last two years, a necessary move towards a healthier life for us as a trio. It is very difficult to try and make sure that everything would be ok financially, emotionally and physically once we are gone, but you seem to have it more sorted than most people to be honest.
My mom in law decided to start an email account for our daughter when we told her that we were pregnant. She's been sending my daughter emails for the last 4+ years that once she has passed my daughter will get the access keys to. I have no idea what she's included in her mails, but I know how much she absolutely loves and adores her only grand child and I think that it is such a lovely legacy she will be gifting to Lory. Perhaps my journey on Hive will be a legacy of some sort for her too. I don't include her in it much because I'm extremely protective of her online identity at this age, but it's something that will far outlast me, carved in the blockchain.
Have a good day and give and receive all the toddler snuggles you can today.
That is a great idea and I think your daughter will appreciate it once the time comes. I wish ,ore people would add this kind of content onto blockchains too, just to add an additional amount of protection for the words.
I wonder how protected the identity really is, if you consider that Facebook and Google record everything through a thousand different APIs. I suspect that while identity might be less visible on the surface, everything is still available - since most people save their images to google and their communication on centralized apps.
Thanks for the message Taraz. That is very true about the points on identity. There's a history to why I say this though that I am not going to relay here.
Have a great evening.
I completely understand - I am not against people protecting their kids' identity, it is just something interesting to consider these days. :)
I totally agree with you and it's almost impossible to get away from Google and the likes of Microsoft which collect everything. I had a bit of a revelation about this last night which I am probably going to write a "conspiracy theory" post on later today. I now have two laptops - my old one which is so slow it's like you can make and drink a cup of coffee while waiting for it to open a program lol and this one. I'm seriously considering just using my old one to store all my stuff because I never connect it to the internet anymore. I don't post anything on conventional social media anymore, infact FaceBook irritates me greatly these days. Perhaps I'm getting old hahaha. Have a good day Taraz. Cheers.
I am glad everything ended up being okay. It's funny how a incident finally gets us to do that which we seem to keep putting off. One of the last prep things I done when the "pandemic" was coming was sit down and write everything down for my kids in case something happened to me. I stuffed it all in a yellow envelope and taped it to the wall.
Yeah, it is best to have things prepared. I have most done, but I have to make sure my wife has details for my business accounts too, as that is also where all of my images are stored.
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Thanks.
By the way, it is generally easier if you do the translation into English yourself, as it is not always handy on the phone to use translate programs.
Some people put their original words + the translation as well.
The best is to prepare for any circumstances that may comes up at anyyime. It better we have contingency plan in place so we wont feel the shock that much.
I try to have a contingency - but sometimes the dramas have their own contingency plans too
Ah man, we are all very frail beings and although I have just posted about overcoming, there are such things as serious illnesses that we just cannot overcome, as they are fatal.
Twice I have ended up in an emergency ICU and twice there was no diagnosis.
I have carried on about a dev in @Hive creating an app to take are and assist the relatives of a member that has suddenly passed away, but to no avail.
Our wives do not know the intricacies about clearing and closing an account and professional assistance will also help to make members feel more secure.
Glad that you are okay and I am tired of those frights.
Make sure that there is someone that you can point your wife towards if needed.
Also, happy father's day :)
Yes I have, but he has become inactive on Hive. Will send him a message to see what's up.
Thanks for the reminder.
Gosh that must have been an awful experience for you especially having a young family.
I lost a friend who was only 41 to a brain aneurism, she was in a coma and died the next day. We were devastated and more so for her family as she was a widow and her youngest daughter was still in high school.
My dad died of an aortic aneurism, he was gone in half an hour.
I think it's so important to make one's wishes clear; especially leave a signed living will if you don't want to be on life support if ever in that unfortunate position (another friend had spoken of a living will but never signed one and ended up on life support for 6 weeks, was awful as her family had to sign documents for the doctors to take her off it.)
We don't like thinking of these things but it's so important.
And you really don't want your crypto to be sitting somewhere where your family cannot get hold of it.
Glad you're ok now @tarazkp, and I hope you don't have another such scare again; you have been real busy with your renovation project so the stresses of that could also have triggered something; take it easy and take a break with your family if you're able to.
It’s good to show your spouse how to send all your crypto to some place like ionomy, convert to BTC, convert to BnB... send to Binance.... convert back to BTC send to a wallet that can be sent to cash. It’s a few steps but worth it to write it all down and try it a few times....
Yeah buddy, these are undesired and premature warnings that one cannot afford to ignore. Try to check the current average of your blood pressure today and verify that you are not suffering from high blood pressure lately. Since these are conditions that jointly with a bit of stress and the lack of a long enough and comfortable repairing sleep every night certainly could trigger unexpected results.
As I suppose you remember, I lost my baby sister a few years ago through a sudden brain stroke that appeared out of nowhere without warning. Yes, a silent aneurysm that was laying inside her head without anyone noticing. But one which when it made its first and final blunt appearance, there was not much else to do. Even if it doesn't end up killing you, its dire results can certainly be devastating.
Sleep well, control your diet and check your blood pressure once a day. In cases like these with previous warnings, there will never be too many precautions to take and be highly attent.
Cheers!! :)
Have you managed to do some tests and see the root cause of the migraine? Having a bad headache is terrible, almost excruciating. Dying young is something nobody wants but we never know when life will end for us. It's good you have Galen to help in worst case scenario. Hopefully it won't happen anytime soon. Are you better now?
Made me feel very emotional and tears came to my eyes. You are right. We have to tell our loved ones that we love them, every chance we get. ❤
I have not been on too much and missed this! I was horrified that it was so long ago and I am just getting wind of it.
I will keep reading up to see how you are.
You and your family are in my prayers nonetheless.
I'm sorry I missed this when you first posted it.
My greatest fear, when my children were young, was that I would die before them. I understand this. I hope you are feeling much better!!!!
F>£££!me I tryingvyo catch up and read but I can’t take it in. So re read 3 times. I agree on the thing that spouses not always are keen on hive after our live ended. #hiveaftwelife might be a good tag btw never mind the fact that we build N legacy here will in my case give the boys an idea what we did all year round and the fact it generated some hive and that’s worth something is great. I left a detailed document and hope they will get help from a friend.
But you seemed to be so calm and collective. And in that moment only smallste is important. My smallsteps are aswell, hubby can manage they can’t.
Gonna read all up the other blogs and hope you are ok just ok , better will come