Recently a friend has sent me some personality tests , knowing that I will probably enjoy testing my mind. The results did not shock me as I have previously tried to assess my personality in order to better understand myself.
I am a female INTJ.This is rare. Only 0.8% of the female population. Only four of every five hundred women have an INTJ personality. Wow, lucky me! Talking about finding the needle in the haystack! I can put out a list of several articles about my type of personality, but I think it is better to speak from my own experience about what this means/feels like. It feels good to read about your personality as it can help you see that you are not as weird as you would have thought.
I know I can be stubborn as a mule. I don't tolerate authority and to be told what to do and how to do it. Being a female, many expect a submissive attitude, someone who wants to be led by a man. I have always had this issue and I could not accept to be told by a man what to do, especially when he was not doing a better job himself. Are you successful? I am ready to learn from you! Are you failing? Then why do you expect me to follow? It is a no brainer. I will always believe in a person who is willing to improve, but I will never follow blindly someone who is obviously failing and they refuse to admit that. Let me tell you a little line which is great for illustrating what I mean: a flock of sheeps led by a lion will advance better than a pack of lions led by a sheep. Think.
The lens through which I see the world functions on logic , not on emotions. I do have a hard time understanding the language of emotions and it takes me a long time to show affection at a deep level toward anyone. In romantic relationships this can be seen as a sign of coldness. I have often been told that I keep humans at a distance, that I am way too discrete and that I do too little in the relationship. I also have had a hard time leaving the wrong people because of my inability to accept that I have failed , that I have given my soul to the wrong guy. Failure is not in my vocabulary. It was heartbreaking to become vulnerable with the wrong person and definetely a wake up call for me.
The thing is that a female INTJ sees the world differently. I admit that I often see life as a list. I have a list for almost everything. I am highly mental and I know what I want. People can say that in love it doesn't work like this. I dare to disagree. For me mental stimulation is the most important. After the cuddles and the romance and the great sex, if I have nothing to talk about and dream about with that person, then I am utterly bored. I need someone who likes to educate themselves and who wants more from life. I like to have projects to do with my partner, dreams to fulfill, ideas to talk about. I think that conversations play a huge role in relationships and if you can't have soul to soul and mind to mind talks, then it is pretty much doomed. I sound harsh and cruel. I know. This is another trait of the female INTJ. I have moments of dreaming like a romantic pinguin and I have moments of ruthless mental strategy. For some people this can be tiring, for me it is a way of being. If you do not have a list, how do you expect to get what you want? I like organized people and those who know where they stand. I also like chaos and spontaneity. I am a living contrast and I can see how this can exhaust or scare away people. I do not like situationships and men who have no clue where their life is going. I often ask: what do you want? An answer like: I go with the flow is a major turn off. Who wants to be with someone who has no direction in their life? From my experience people act in the direction of their priorities . If they do not prioritize you or the relationship, that ain't going nowhere so it is better to cut your losses before they take more pieces from your soul without giving anything back.
I like colorful playful socks. So relevant right?
Being in your mind too much is not good all the time. I can tell you that it takes practice to get to my soul and see what I feel and why I feel it. Maybe this explains why it is more difficult to find a romantic partner as a female INTJ because love is the language of emotions. I am aware of the fact that in order to discover a person like me and be romantically involved a very strong willed and powerful man is necessary. Having a more masculine side, I find being vulnerable a weakness. I despise to show that I suffer/struggle because I often think that no one would care and often I had no one to soothe me. So I toughened up. This is another core trait of INTJ's: I am a teddy at my core and I can feel strong powerful emotions like love, compassion, empathy. But it takes me a longer time as I am mostly in my mind.
Friendships are not easy for INTJ females. I don't find girl stuff enjoyable. I have few friends and I stick to them. I do not need 10 calls per day and lots of chit chat. I find small talk annoying, gossip is boring and wasting hours shopping drains me. I like mental stimulations in friendships too. I am solid , I can be of great support if I trust the person. I value loyalty and that person being there for me when I need it and ask it. I do not need 20 friends as I do not have the emotional capacity to sustain that (exhausting) social interaction. I am an introvert so I need alone time. I need silence. Big social gatherings make me anxious, although I am a chameleon and I can adapt to any situation. But in many situations I prefer one on one , maximum 3 people, to have a conversation with. From the outside, a female like me can be seen as a social outkast, as a lonely wolf who is ready to bite if you're not careful. For me it works to focus on where I place my energy. We people have a limited quantity of energy daily. I like to give mine to those who appreciate it. There is a saying which I like and it is relevant for the way I see things: people who prioritize you free their time for you, those who care less just give their free time to anybody. So I feel special when I know that a busy person makes time for me versus someone who is bored by default and has nothing to do with their time and so he gives me some crumbles.
I value quality. Quality time, not just spending hours doing nothing. I long for meaningful connection, the deep conversations and the more superior aspect of life. We are more than humans, we are spirits. And I am deeply rooted in the spiritual energy of life. I want people who can talk to my soul while also talking to my mind. Difficult? For sure. If I could count the number of times I felt alone in a conversation.....there would be plenty. I long for someone with whom I could look at the stars knowing that silence is ok.
Solitude is another thing I have to talk about. I love having alone time. But having my type of personality can feel lonely because I find like minded people very hard. I adore to read books and I value those who do the same. I can't sit and watch TV for hours, I prefer to go out, talk about a book or hike. The normal interactions that people do in social gatherings are boring for me: why sit for hours turning my brain into mush instead of being mentally stimulated? For the love of God, for one moment, just stop thinking and overthinking woman. Hahaha. I know. This can be the very frustrating part of being a female INTJ. The constant unsatiable mental hunger. This is why I am aware I need a strong minded man, who is at least as hungry mentally as me. I also think I would make a better pair with an introvert as I find those who are overly extrovert exhausting. I don't like people who talk a lot all the time without saying much. You know what I mean. Or maybe you don't. But many social interactions are just about this: talking lots of nonsense in a repetitive way. Being overly analytical, I can see beyond the mask people put and how many of them hide their sadness behind an extrovert mask. And I can't be around that too much because I find it sad. I can feel sadness. My own sadness and the sadness of others. Despite my cold demeanor, I can feel complex emotions. But often it is hard to let myself go in that direction.
I value freedom and independence. For me love means to be free. I will not be the woman who will obey the man or accept the second place. Women accept less when they do not know their worth. Men can still be attached to their mothers and confuse romantic relationships with motherly affection. I find that deeply incompatible with my way of being. I like men who think for themselves, who have confidence in their powers and who stand their ground. I want to be able to rely on my guy taking important decisions in case I might be unable to . I value strong minded people who can take charge and lead. I like men who dare to think on their own and challenge the status quo. I like men who show emotions and who can talk difficult topics. The irony is that I often met men who mirrored my biggest flaw: the inability to express emotions. I know that I have to work on this as it can add to my strenghts. I find vulnerability a quality if the person knows when and how to show it. I like mentally tough men with a soft side. My masculine match mirroring me but in a different way. I also believe that someone who is able to show emotions would be a good match for me, as I would have something to learn from them. For me it is important to be able to respect the person. I respect sincerity, good attitude, strenght, emotions, romantism, strategy, dreams and goals. I value integrity and when I find out that I have been lied to, I instantly lose respect for the person. I can sniff a liar and I often have let them continue to lie, just to see for how long they can go on. It was sad but also a learning experience for me. I will not tolerate men who like to have ex-es as their best friends as it shows me a serious problem with boundaries. Men who have mommy issues are also a big no no, if they can't talk with their own mother or father, how will they do that with me? I also look in my own backyard and realize that the relationship I have with my parents will be the pattern used for romantic interactions. So I have made great efforts in that direction.I also do not tolerate men who are abusive in any way , be it emotionally , verbally or physically. For me any form of abuse can mean two things: therapy and treatment or bye bye. I think long term all the time and in the back of my mind I always had this Secret Question I never told to the guys I have dated, but this question was always decisive when I made up my mind: can this person be the father of my children? Can his behavior be a model, can he inspire and cultivate love? If the answer was no, why stay? I strongly believe in the power of influence and how we pick our partners can be a huge win or loss in life. Love is not enough. Qualities like responsibility, maturity, morals, respect, good communication skills are a must. I refuse to play the sacrificial role that many men saw their mothers playing, expecting all women to be the same: obedient, with low expectations, happy with any crumbles. I refuse. I dream big and I want to love and be loved big. I do not believe in having a romantic relationship just for the sake of it.
I think the impossible is possible and even if a person with my type of personality is rare, I do believe that there is a match for me. We all find our match eventually. First in ourselves , then in others....
Lordly, you're basically the female version of me, we'd be a terrible match as you'd probably annoy the hell out of me because I'd just see myself in you all the time.
Hahahahaha. That was funny. Hm this is a great subject to think about: would you date yourself? I think that all people are mirrors and that we despise about them what we dislike about ourselves. So maybe meeting for a short while a version of you of the opposite sex can give you some mental food to digest.
I think that we need people who are similar with us when it comes to principles and core values. A person who believes in monogamy can't be with someone who wants an open relationship. The differences between the two are the spice of the relationship. I am never the same as I always have other things in mind. So while someone can find this challenging and fun, someone might find it exhausting.
There is a wise saying: even the greatest person is the bad one in someone's story.
Wow!... It seemed like you were just describing me. May I ask what INTJ mean by the way?
Thank you🤗
ENFJ-T is mine 😁
Uhm I did some research! Of course lol. So your nickname truly represents you! You are a joy!
How accurate is the description in comparison with what you feel about your own personality? I am curious
Lol, do all the research you want 😄. The description fits. I have a more detailed one, maybe I take the time to actually compare it like you did.
Oh how cool! The same it was for me, it was kind of a shock. Especially when I started to read the things I could work on. Spot on.
Same here. I also had a professional horoscope made for me and dang it's like they knew me. There is something to it I can't deny. People make fun of it, but there is astrology and astrology, you now what I mean? Technically astrology is one of the oldest science even though they name it pseudoscience these days. Cool that you give it a try as well.
I thought about it, but it kinda scares me to know so much about myself already haha.
Thank you🤗
You are most welcome! Thank you for choosing to use my #thoughtfuldailypost TAG!
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This implies that you follow the instructions of your instincts, heart feelings don't matter for you, hehe you are successful to overcome dramatic emotions.
Loneliness for everything, multiple times you are productive enough to perform everything, either while thinking or any activity. I believe the favorable decisions are taken you you are the only one to answer the right and wrong aspects of decisions.
This freedom means that you are neither implementing your thoughts on the other. You respect the viewpoint and wisdom of others and desire for the same attitude too.
I guess the relationship doesn't remain the same but at this moment you are checking the ability of the next person that how much game he/she can play by showing this drama. Hard to tolerate but the acting masking the emotions. ♠
Saying bye is a better option if the man is having an abusive issue if they have indicated their initial phase they are going to prolong it for sure.
Hehe, it's me who expect all things to be achieved with mutual sharing of thoughts 💜 I loved your playful socks. Can you suggest to me some authentic references for this personality test, I am craving to know about my personality hehe don't know but getting goosebumps that I am a relatable personality.
Best writeup I have read this week 💗 excellent dear.
Hello! You have read this thoroughly, I appreciate it! I dislike drama , but I can become very dramatic if I burst after a long time of hiding my emotions. I do not show emotions very often and I have a hard time understanding them in myself and in others. On the other side I can pick up the energy of others quite fast, which is a paradox somehow.
Alone time is vital for me. It took me a while to accept that I am an introvert. We live in a society where extraversion is seen as the norm and those who are different stand out as the misfits.
Liars....I admit that I do no trust people easily because I have been burned so many times. I work on that and in my heart I do believe that the majority of people are good and have great intentions, it is me that has to work on my own inner wounds to be able to not look back at the sour apples I happened to taste more than once in my life.
Heart feelings do matter for me, but I express that concern differently, through the language of facts and logic. And heart feelings need to be expressed with the heart, not with the mind. Another thing I am working on .
The abuse is obvious in the first meetings with anyone. It is us who decide to not notice it, hoping it that it will change. The abuse and the abuser won't change if they believe that what they do is right. Usually the abuser had their own wounds and this is why they cause suffering. At one point in our lives each of us was the abuser and each of us was abused, in one form or another. To become aware and work on ourselves can bring greater peace .
https://my-personality-test.com/personality-type-indicator?gclid=CjwKCAiAlfqOBhAeEiwAYi43F9flzIBvcpm_zV6MZCe8vF4dAFCTAL8ZqZ5xMLR0n8gNrNCNcTwBEhoChpoQAvD_BwE
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
I am curious which type you are
I've personally never taken a personality test; I've always been concerned that I'd fail! 😂
I really, absolutely, 100% agree that I want to learn from my partner and vice versa. Traditional 'roles' are a thing of the past, just like "gender based" toys. Is it a toy? Yes? Then it's for anyone. Likewise for daily life. Do I need to cook tonight? Okay, I'll cook; I enjoy eating, too. I'll just draw the line at trying to give birth. No thanks.
Hey! Personality tests are really great, I highly recommend them because they can provide some clues for inner work. I think that we need to understand ourselves better before entering any new relationships. There are also tests for attachment styles , which can pinpoint the exact cause of why you might have difficulty in romantic situations or in any relationship in general. But one has to be open to admit that they have a problem before solving it. I can use the fact that " oh my personality is rare" as an excuse to not change or to continue to remain difficult in some aspects. But I choose to use it as a tool to better myself.
I trust science and facts. Although people change daily, there are some characteristics innate to them, which can offer clues. My type of personality can offer clues and it is a step toward understanding me, I would also love to find out other people's type so I could handle the social interaction better. Some clues though are quite compelling without that person saying a word.
Did I like the rarity of my personality? Only on paper because in real life one has to be tough minded to resist in an environment where they feel like the rainbow sheep lol. I have learned to wear my clothes with pride. Unfortunately before becoming aware of the assets that an introvert has, I was often ridiculed for being aloof, direct, nerd, too logical and too cold. I can be very warm and loving, only that I take a different path towards that in comparison with other people. And we should all respect that instead of ridiculing or bullying people. I have been through a lot .
I am very interested in personality traits because relationships are huge in every person's life. I want to be a better version of myself therefore I need the facts so I can have something to work with. To assume that it is perfectly fine how I am is not good as it would hinder any progress. I am aware of my flaws as the Universe always brought them in my face by mirroring them in other people.
Gender roles....uhm very good topic! I love a man who can cook, it is 1)very cute and adorable , 2) a skill, an asset of the couple, 3) a proof that he thinks outside the box and he can easily help the woman when she can't do the cooking.
With men I always thought like this: the more skills, the better. I would not like a man who cares more about what people think than about his own happiness. Both women and men put a facade, which is not true to their real personality, in order to look tough in society. If I show that I am soft or that I suffer, they will laugh. I have been in that place. And Hive was a great platform, and still is, for showing deeply buried sides of myself. I have shown my vulnerability and suffering and well. I still survived. I am still learning a lot in matters of love. Don't we all do? And the most important thing I look at a person is not how perfect they are , but how willing are they to change, to be better? What are they doing, not what they are saying....
Giving birth to a child.....uhm. I am a woman and I admit being scared myself. God can imagine what would a man do in that situation lol. Pregnancy must feel awesome to share with a loved one, as it is truly a miracle of life.
Be rare my friend, there are a lot of commons out there, just be rare. liked your blog.
Oh this is such a sweet wish, thank you! There were times when I felt odd to be the way I am, with all the flaws and qualities as I am a work in progress. I embrace the whole me, the rare 0.8% gem hahaha. Thank you🤗
This article carries so much elements of bitter truths . I sure will be looking forward to more of your posts , learnt something new from this current one I just read, might need to ponder and meditate on it though i must say . Big ups!! 🙌🏿
Hello you! Well yes, there are some bitter truths in this one as the inability to express emotions has caused me many problems. This is why I felt the need to be honest and show that a rare personality type has good and bad sides. At the sight of the word rare, many eyes would glow, wishing they would have something rare. A rare personality, face, skill etc. But rarity also comes with solitude. It is a high price to pay and a heavy burden to wear until we can unshackle ourselves from what our personality does not have.
Have a great day🤗
I have an ordinary personality type but I have rare Hive Punks :)
Joke aside, I googled INTJ after reading the post and decided that you are intelligent.
Hahahaha smart humour, of course I giggle.
When someone types INTJ female on Google there are already a lot of articles about how smart they are ,popping like popcorn. But what is admirable at first can be a pain in the rear as pulling that smart pants out of her mind is the trick lol. This is why mental compatibility is huge for me.
You are a well-connected person, not just human. I think your review is correct, but many people are not quite right. Many questions are not sure if they have understood themselves to choose. Spending time alone always connects with the best self. I myself have always dated solitude. She is my romantic lover.
Hi! Thank you! I agree with you that people have to know themselves genuinely if they want to take a personality test and have accurate results.
Oh you are so poetic, solitude is definetely a good lover :always faithful, always there. I recharge myself when I am alone and I need it, I can't imagine my life without solitary moments . It heals a part of me to be able, for example, to be in nature and just walk...walk for as long as I want. Or to paint alone. Or to read a book for hours. Or to sit and sip my tea.Solitude is a wonderful thing to experience once in a while if you like the person you are with when you are alone: yourself🥰
Thank you for stopping by my fellow solitary Hivean🤗
Many people are always curious whether I am an introvert or an extrovert because I am often alone in the woods all day long or party all night. So when I receive a question, I answer that I am a person of good will.😆
I am INFJ, the rarest of the 16 personalities :)
Oh , shall I say lucky you? Hehe
It's lonely, actually, when most people do not see your very unique perspective about the world.
I understand you. There is always a positive and a negative thing in everything. A diamond is not for everyone...yet..shall this mean that the diamond better turn into a pebble? Well...that is very unlikely to happen. Be glad that you are rare because it will take a special effort to be understood. And whoever will do that will be worthy of your attention
Hello! Thank you very much, I am happy to meet someone with the same personality as mine. We don't need a lot of words then to understand each other.
I have been in difficult romantic situations, where my assessment of the person was not right. I suffered because I wanted to change people, it is wiser to change myself. I also had a lot of issues of my own piling up on top of that. What I have discovered recently is self love. It is truly powerful. A woman who loves herself truly will never be in dysfunctional relationships. The same goes for the man. I also think that we heal through relationships and each of us carries a bag with trauma, dreams, power, personality etc. I think that a good loving partner can make a huge difference in healing or worsening the wounds. Even if you are single. Being alone in two is far worse. Our type of personality can deal with time spent alone very well. Fortunately.
I value time a lot. If a person or a situation is not worthy of my time, I retreat. This is another gift of my trauma, as it has taught me how valuable time is and how it is always the best to spend it in love, peace, harmony. I also think that people who love you make the effort to change themselves into a better version. Not for you, for them. And the rest is a bonus.
Thank you for the wishes, I send the same great vibes to you too🤗
Learning how to love yourself is the key, it took me years to get that and apply it in my life. I often thought that putting yourself first is arrogant or egotistic, but now I believe that it is actually necessary and imperative. I place myself first and take care of me and only after that I have a surplus from which I can give to others. So I congratulate you for doing this!
Experiences are the real deal. Theory and books explain one things. Practice is what we desire and need. For example there are so many ways in which , in theory, you can control your anger in a bad situation. But it is a total different reality when you are in the heated argument. You need to make mistakes and say things you regret in order to learn the next time to do better. Life is about learning and re-learning, because I believe that we also have to unlearn some behaviors which do not do us any favor.
Thanks for stopping by🤗