My mind's been a mess these past couple of days, as I'm getting very close to finishing the first draft of my book. Even now, I'm kinda all over the place, as I just finished a very demanding chapter. Penultimate one. This is the second book in a fantasy trilogy I'm doing, and of which I hope, one way or another, to have the first book out by the year's end.
It's the first project of this magnitude, and to say I've learned a lot is something of an understatement. I used to look at that word count in awe, and once it reached something like 70k words, I'd be all pats on the back. Now, I hardly notice it. It's become a sideshow to the story. It's weird, holding so much of the story in your head. Definitely different from writing a short story, and even a standalone novel. With a trilogy, there's so much room for change as you go.
And oh my, the growth. The characters are in places I would've never envisioned when I first started writing this. I love who they are now more than I can tell you, and I love where they're going.
Anyway. Much of writing a book, at least in my experience, is a pretty hectic, doubt-ridden process, even as I make my way through the first draft. But not these past few days. Now, I know how each character ends the book, so it's more a matter of laying them all out than fixing issues, or coming up with ideas that work for the plot. It's much easier, in ways, much more focused.
And yet, the single most out-of-this-plane experience I've known. When I come back, I'm told I have this transfixed, stupefied expression. But that's because my brain's not quite there. It's still struggling to adjust to this world, which isn't the reality it's been invested in for the past few hours. I can't think of a more heartening example of the human brain's capacity for creation.
Art, man. Fucking art. Making up a world, where you can move at will, free of charge.
We were just on a ship, and my body's still swaying a little. I'm watching a bee moving in a tree out my window, and it doesn't feel real.
So during these days, I find ways to ground myself, when the writing's stopped for the day, and I'm floating. Yesterday, I made cake. I love baking, always have, though summer's a particularly tricky baking period. You don't wanna eat. I don't wanna eat things at all, let alone heavy baked goods (not to mention stand in the heat while they're baking). So I went to an easy, all-time summer favorite. The cheesecake.
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Me and cheesecake have come a long way. I used to disregard any cake that wasn't made of chocolate. Even my cheesecake used to feature a heavy dose of cocoa, making it look kinda like a chocolate cake. But what can you do, you grow up, even chocolate loses its appeal (just kidding. I'd probably trade my library for chocolate).
See, I needed something to make the world real to me again. I like walking, but that's no good, because it lets your mind wander. I like to dance, particularly after a long writing session, to bring me back into my own body, but that don't last long enough.
So, cheesecake. There's something undeniably tethering in making something. Cooking something is still art of a kind, because you're making something real. It's greatly therapeutic, particularly for when your mind's a-wandering. Especially if you don't have a recipe to follow, and just go by guesswork. Then, you've gotta be real present, to make sure you don't burn anything. Or mess up the blend into a yucky sugar-y mess.
Cheesecake is one of the very few desserts I find tolerable in the heat, because it's cool, and laden with berries. Besides, it's minimal work. Essentially, it's just the crust (buttery mashed biscuits) that brown in the oven for about 10 mins, and you're done. I know a lot of people do it with cream cheese, but for me, mascarpone's a guilty pleasure. So essentially, that's that. Mascarpone with heavy cream, and a little sugar (I am not a fan of all these overly sweet treats. And with cheesecakes, I don't see the point, since the fruit's sweet anyhow). Topped with berries of any color and shape, and voila.
I made myself a lovely, light summer treat all out of nothing. Well, out of ingredients. Kinda like making a story. What are stories made of? I don't know, but what do you think?
More importantly, how do you ground yourself when your mind goes wonky? What's your go-to tethering method?
I know the pictures themselves are quite hectic, but it was all very organic. The mood for cooking, the flow, there was no space for careful arrangements. And maybe a little organic disorder's fine.
I haven't ever tried to write a book, but I do know that feeling of "I need to come back to earth and focus" when I have been preoccupied with something. So I either write in my diary to organize my brain, or I sit at the piano and play some familiar music. My mind can wander while I do that, and now I have a digital piano with earphones so nobody else has to hear it if my fingers wander, too.
I asked my husband for a spring-form pan for Christmas many years ago so I could try making cheesecake. He bought me one. But then I discovered all the cheesecake recipes called for a different diameter pan than what he had purchased. A few years later I mentioned this dilemma to my mother-in-law, who made great cheesecakes. She gave me a recipe for my size pan. I honestly don't remember whether I ever tried it! I think the pan just got old and rusty. One of my daughters may have used it once. I do like cheesecake; maybe I should get another pan. I have never even heard of mascarpone, so I guess I better educate myself about that.
So what are stories made of? Ideas, dreams, words, thoughts, imaginations.
Oh, I get that problem constantly, I just adjust the recipe I want by eye to fit whatever pan I have. I'm not picky about how it looks, as long as it tastes alright. :D
Can I ask, do you write down thoughts, feelings, and does that help? Journaling keeps coming across my horizon, so it's really something I'd love to hear more about, you know, from people who actually do it. :D
Oh, electric pianos are amazing, my brother has one, and it's just so inventive. What a cool way to explore your creative side - love it!
I call it a diary, not a journal. To me, a journal would be loaded with thoughts and feelings and "deep stuff." Mine is usually just a record of what I have been doing. It somehow helps me feel more mentally collected to write things down, even the mundane. Sometimes if something is very heavy on my mind I will get into the thoughts and the feelings, but that's the exception to the usual.
I see ~ thank you for sharing. I appreciate it! :)
I would say dessert was more therapeutic for me. 💟 Reading every word is very inspiring. I will definitely make this dessert someday. But this time to enjoy the texture and all your way of garnishing the fruits. I congratulate you for this beautiful dessert ❤️🙌
Dessert for me too! :D I like cooking regular meals, to an extent, but the sweet stuff is where my heart's at, even if I don't have a huge sweet tooth. Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed!!
It's a palate you can't refuse 🍰🍫🍪🍪🫷 anything sweet is good once a week. Your exotic flavors finish me consquistar ❤️ it was a pleasure to read you 🙌🤗
That's a lovely way of taking yourself from that floating phase. It's like you're liberating yourself in a way. I've not had a cheesecake before but you make me want to try it so bad. I love the way you arranged the berries on the cake.
And yes, chocolate is just about the only thing I can trade my library for. So we have that in common.🤗
Great work it looks delicious ,i used to do it with cream cheese,tell me how it tastes with mascarpone? , i only put mascarpone in tiramisu...
Tiramisu and cheesecake are the only two uses I know for it, too. Well, I'd say it's heavier, I guess, than with cream cheese. Mascarpone is really thick, so definitely mix it with something (Either cream cheese or heavy cream) to lighten it up. Other than that, I love it 'cause it's a little tasteless, in the sense it's not at all sweet. So I don't risk making the whole thing overly sugary, you know?
Wow! I'm impressed that you're writing a book while maintaining your blog. Congrats on that. Let me know when it's finished 😁
My husband loves cheesecake, it's his favourite. I can only eat a small slice at a time, but it's mainly because I do not have many sweets. Your's looks amazing and it would be hard for me to resist it.
Recently, it was my friend's birthday so I took a train ride to a nearby town to purchase a slice of cheesecake for him.
On my way to the cafe, I was thinking, "If it cost £5 or £7 then I'll buy a slice for my husband as well." Luckily, I asked the waitress the price for a slice of cheesecake and she said £20.🙄
See what it looks like(the sliced top left).
With such a strong love for cheesecake, would you have paid that amount of money for it?
I didn't think it was worth it, so I came back and purchased a whole cheesecake from Aldi for 85p.
He was happy enough 😆
Looks quite different (but then, I'm guessing by the interior it's baked ~ I prefer to skip the eggs and not bake anything with this one, why trouble myself?), but no, I don't think that's worth 20 pounds (wow cakes are expensive).
100% my kinda move. I love the once in a while going out and treating yourself thing, but it's rare to find something actually worth the exaggerated price. 85p for an entire cake? That's a steal! I would've gone for that, too, especially since some of these store brands are actually really good. So yeah, cake from Aldi gets my vote!
Thank you! I completely slacked off while writing the first one, but ended up missing this place. And now, I find it's actually a great, fun outlet. Very different writing, so quite therapeutic. Besides, I'm talking with so many wonderful people here, which is good for me on the personal growth front. <3
All nice and dandy... waiting for your ribeye pics!...it takes less then baking anything! Don't be shy,go for it...you only need a good cow ...
Hmm methinks my cooking skills still have a way to go before they're pic-ready. For now, I sit in the shadows, learning from others :P
Stop trying to learn Romanian foods...go for stuff that they can't compare/ judge... I'll die for all good Mexican,Asian and Indian foods!
Now, Indian food seems tricky to get right. But that's a good idea, I may have to look into that.
Hey, if how likely it is to kill you is an indicator of quality, I may be halfway there 😆
You only learn if you try,over and over...even with bad material... believe me,one of my favorites is PHO..and I had no way to have it in Radauti....after I managed it..now none of my friends and including me,we go to Cluj, Bucharest, trying best PHO we can find...none compares to mine... because I'm not comercial... I might be sure I make the best PHO in Romania!!😎😃
True...
That's quite an impressive boast 🤔 I'll have to take your word for it.
Mă bucur să interacționez cu voi...dar chiar m-am pierdut să urmăresc răspunsurile... sunteți amândouă în același timp...nu-s obișnuit...
😆😆 (easy enough to follow?)
Nu trebuie numaidecât să o dai in Indian.. Chicken Masala sau ceva de genul, nu-mi vine numele...e foarte ușor de făcut doar să-ți placă gustul...nu prea cred că aia e bun pentru Dieta...totul e 95% din sos...care aia e problemă...de aia îmi place Asiaticele...sunt simple,are de aface cu gustul...poate in 2 ore o să-ți fie foame din nou...mai bagi o porție...încă o plăcere...nu o sa fii balonată că după oleacă de Tochitură
Te rog nu mai vota shitul meu...poți folosi la cineva care are chiar nevoie...eu știu că nu merit!
I love this! You're soooo invested in the creative journey. I can see how passionate you are about what you do and this fills me with joy.
Oh yeah walking never really grounds me! It might get rid of some.cortisol but I struggle to NOT write in my head when I walk!
The cake looks delicious and sounds like you deserve it. You might need the walk as well though 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you! Frankly, I love losing myself in it.
Ha I know xD Thankfully, I'm pretty clean about the rest of my diet, so I figure an occasional slice or two of cake ain't the worst that can happen.
100%. I find recording myself as I walk helps. Not sure if it helps with creative endeavors, or just not to look cuckoo to passers-by. Either way, why complain? :D