Coffee and I are old friends (coffee is older than me of course) and I do a lot of thinking over coffee. With this in mind I decided to start a little concept called thoughts over coffee which I'll be doing from time to time.
I don't like laziness or reward it and while I don't have anything against down-time, relaxation, doing nothing and such other legitimate activities being lazy grinds my gears. I've been doing a series of posts talking about different forms of laziness that people disguise with excuses.
Laziness - Regret
How can the feeling of regret be laziness?
Don't fool yourself, wallowing in regret, dwelling on it, is laziness because it holds you back. Life moves forwards not backwards so there's no point attaching mooring lines to the past and that's exactly what regret does.
Despite it feeling (and being) negative, many people embrace regret because doing nothing is easier than taking affirmative action and the latter comes with risk as well - and human beings have become very risk-averse. Interestingly, it was risk (and fear) that helped the human species advance (and survive) and now so many shun it. Imagine if the first Homo sapiens (that's us) took no risks, they'd have starved to death, never spread around the world or done pretty much anything else. You're here because someone took risks. (Anyway, I digress).
Regret takes up valuable energy that can be better-used devising ways forward, better thoughts and actions, that will ultimately lead to there being less chance for regret in the future. Every day and each moment in it is an opportunity to move onwards in better ways having learned from the past but holding regret for the past (I mean holding tightly to it and dwelling upon it) isn't going to inspire and promote forward momentum.
We all regret something in life but tethering ourselves to the past and those memories with it is unproductive; learning from it, the things that we have regret over, is more productive...as long as we work on them to make some changes.
What do you reckon? If you want to comment below then go ahead, I'm interested in your thoughts and experiences.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own
If you make a choice and it ends up turning out some disappointing results, it may be painful to realize, but to pin regret on it for any length of time just magnifies the hurt, stupidity or whatever else you're feeling. Learn from it and take a bit more time with the next choice you're presented with.
If that regret lingers too long it can paralyze a person into not making any choices at all, creating an indecisive, fearful person. Regret it for a little bit, forgive yourself and move on. As much as I like history, I do not like living in the past lol
Attaching past events (the feelings they brought) to the present and using them as reasons why things are going wrong is lazy and lacks discipline. They're things that happened, not things that have to define a life. What truly defines a life is what a person does to improve and find a better way after adversity strikes. Holding on to regret is pointless and wasteful.
Thanks for commenting, I've wondered where you were; a situation in which (if I had your number) I'd usually text, are you ok?
Eeep....I'm sorry you were wondering! It was a 'shanghaied' situation, in the best way lol. I had my phone, but no computer. Thank you though, for your concern 😃
I was going to contact Jack Reacher and discuss the opportunity of gaining his assistance in locating you and wresting you away from your captors.
At the risk of sounding utterly backwards, I'm afraid I don't know who Jack Reacher is? Anyhow, if he could have found me he would have been surprised at the hoots and howls of my captors and I lol.
He's a character in the Lee Childs' books of the same name.
Well, I did just fall off of the turnip truck yesterday...geez, where have I been?? Apparently nowhere lol
If I were to beat myself up over every stupid thing I’ve done, I’d be black and blue. You make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time, and whether it turns out right or wrong, you’ve still learned something.
Yep, that's what makes regret so wasteful; a person only has themselves to blame for lack of progression if they don't learn from failures and mistakes and make changes and holding on to regret often seems easier than doing the hard work required to develop and grow.
I'm not much of a regretting person. I never put it into words, but it would come out like you describe it. Screw up, learn the lesson, make sure you don't do the same mistake again.
Taraz had a post once saying that it's boring that people answer "What would have you done differently in your life?" with "Nothing, it made me the person I am!" - though it's not the answer that is boring, but the question. Just changing it a little bit: "What would you not do again?", though that might be a little long, actually gets a better answer. Or a variation, "Which mistake did you repeat over and over, and why won't your repeat it again?"
Anyway, that's a part of communication, too - not only the answers matter, so do the questions, but that's not important right now. Your post just reminded me of that.
I'd say I'm somewhat proud of my mistakes, not because of them per se, but what I made out of them. The confidence that I will not repeat them (except that darn 1-5 bottles of beer to many, I really have to work on those limits). At the same time, I feel ashamed, still, about my behavior back then. And stupid. But that's more like memory of how I felt back then.
I never though about regret being an absorbent of energy, but now that I think about it, it makes total sense to me.
We should certainly own our mistakes and not try to forget them or sweep them under the carpet. As for feeling ashamed...I guess each of us was doing what we thought was right based on the information/understanding we had at the time. We need to learn from them, those that went wrong or fill us with shame, so that we don't do it a second and third time.
Regret wastes so much energy and brain capacity and isn't good for the soul...in contrast, dealing with the things that caused regret and doing things better is such an energising thing to do.
Regret should be an incentive to do things better. If I make a mistake, I regret it, but I look for ways to improve what I did wrong. Crying about it serves no purpose and wastes time, which is very valuable.
When I was in my twenties, I regretted not spending more time with my godfather. I regretted not doing specific things that he liked and sharing those experiences with him. He passed away, and I told myself that I would not let the same thing happen with my grandmother. I put all my effort into spending quality time with her, and I succeeded. I am happy about that.
I like this comment!
I also like this one.
That's how it was! I'm not going to cry over what didn't happen; I'm going to make it happen.
Thank you!
I completely agree, clinging to regret and doing nothing is a form of laziness. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes, especially if we hurt or damage someone else, to become aware of them and not to repeat them as far as possible. And if we can do something to compensate that person, we should do so.
The first person who needs to learn from the mistakes we make is ourselves and as we move forward seeking continual improvement (righting wrongs or failures) our lives become better and better...and that helps other people's lives become better as well.
I think there isn't anyone who has no regrets, everyone made mistakes or something he would have changed with the 'if I knew'... I do have regrets too, some bad ones, they have teach me to trust myself and my instinct and with less weight others opinions... I can understand regrets can make you block, and be afraid to fail again hence not picking a decision, not doing a thing, but life goes on anyways so you can't afford to block for them
Life doesn't stop unless a person stops it through regret and inactivity due to that regret. Learning from it and developing is a better course of action.
I think moving on from it is the hardest part. You can not be held back by it, but still have it pop up as a reminder every now and then. Being able to sever that tie and just leave it in the past would be amazing. I still haven't figured that one out!
It can be tricky to learn to do it but worthwhile learning.
In the past I sometimes felt regret that I did not find Hive sooner, that I was not active enough or that I took breaks from Hive. Now I try to no longer think about that. Some of those mistakes I can fix by investing and others are just lessons for the future.
Thinking about what you didn't do or what you should have done gets in the way of what you should be doing; you're right to let it go and move forward.
I agree with you, there's no point in remembering things from the past and living with regret. The best thing to do is to learn from that experience and reflect in order to move forward. Have a nice week, greetings.
Learning, changing and moving forward is the way to go.
Greetings @galenkp, carrying regret like a heavy backpack is useless. When there's genuine regret, it includes change and the opportunity to improve. What's the point of clinging to the past or regretting it? The point is to learn the lesson and make the best decisions possible.
Have a great week!
Learn lessons and make better decisions, yep, well said.
It is true that we friends like to drink tea a lot and every day we gather at one place and remember old school and college stories and drink tea together. At that time, 50 friends used to gather together, now only four or five are left, so that time is remembered a lot more, the past time and it is thought that tea is from before us and even today if we look at its history, how many years ago it started and even today people drink it with the same passion. A lazy person has no place in this fast-paced world. If he remains lazy, he will fail, and a failed person will never be able to achieve respect in this world.
I agree, well said.
As a normal person, I have also had times of regret. But as a necessary activity, I have made it a habit to keep a few books with positive thoughts and read them. I note them down and try to find answers to the reasons for regret. After every busy day, I have made it a habit to reflect on the questions that I could not find answers to at night to prevent myself from being pulled back. In fact, it is appropriate to absorb only the important things related to the past and move forward.
It sounds like you have a good understanding of what's required, well done.
Heyy sir, nice to meet you again. Well I am also taking a little risk in my life trying to start a new business but all I need to is stay productive and reduce my laziness to achieve my goal. It sounds little bit hard but all I need is good level of motivation. Hope so your day goes good and enjoy your coffee.
Laziness and starting a new business do not work well together; hopefully you've got some strategies in place to manage your laziness and to work towards developing your business; it's the early stages that are the most difficult.
I've taken many risks in my life, I probably have an adventurous gene. I liked to put a lot on the line and it's good that I had a little luck. Yes, these are definitely genes from distant ancestors.
I'm not one to put much credence in luck, I prefer to be more hands on, more in control rather than leave things to chance. Luck happens though and when it does it's not a bad thing.
I think that regret arises when someone else does not have something that they have worked hard to achieve. Even if laziness holds us back, life keeps moving forward. So, to make the future brighter, we must take risks, make the right decisions, and plan accordingly. The right thing to do is to collect the reasons for regret and take steps to correct them. We must learn from past experiences as lessons and open the door to a positive path.
Seems about right to me, I agree.
Your thoughts are very beautiful. We often see regret as part of emotion or sadness, but it can also be a manifestation of laziness. Best wishes to you.
Yes for sure.
Take love my friend ❤️
☕📝 Qué bonito cómo conviertes una simple taza de café en un momento de autoconciencia. Reflexionar y avanzar es la mejor forma de honrar cada sorbo. 🌿✨
Sorry, I don't speak German.
Turning regret into laziness is an idea I had never thought of before, but you explained it so convincingly and inspiringly!
It's not always the case, but many people lean on any excuse for their laziness and this is one of those things.
I agree with you, and this is due to the self’s love for the easiest thing, which is called laziness.
Indeed.