My wife has gone to sleep, but I think I still have a few words in me before I can rest. Even though for once, we had some good conversation with too much arguing.
Let's agree to disagree.
I came across a headline today that I agree with, at least at face value.
Immigrants should abandon incompatible practices.
But I would extend the sentiment to include everyone, that all people should abandon incompatible practices. Yes, immigrants coming into Finland should not expect to bind feet, or perform female circumcisions. I also think that individuals should choose what they wear, rather be forced by cultural or religious doctrine. But this applies to all.
Essentially, we should all be trying to abandon habits that is incompatible with our wellbeing. We should throw away bad eating habits. We should stop focusing on profits for corporations and subsequent shareholders. And, we should stop expecting people to be just like us before we can accept them.
Unpopular opinions?
Should a woman be forced to wear a headdress because men a thousand years ago dictated it? Should it be forced upon children? In my opinion, fuck no. But, should someone have to learn a language in order to get hired into a company whose official company language is already spoken? If there are people in the company who don't speak the official company language (normally English), should they be fired?
Incompatible practices.
Looking to globalise and impact internationally, but unwilling to give up cultural traditions. Yet, the hypocrisy is lost on most people, because cultural tradition speaks to identity. People don't want to give up their often ridiculous and superstitious practices, because they feel right, feel natural, feel like they belong.
Adapt.
Yes, people who come to Finland should try to learn the language, but success in language ability should not be a non-negotiable for integration. There are plenty of immigrants who speak the local language, who aren't integrated.
The fact is, for whatever the many reasons we have, everyone has incompatible practices that hold us back from being the best version of ourselves. I physically train harder and more often than the majority of people, but I also eat more low-quality food than most.
Can't train away a bad diet.
Culture is always in flux, changing. Even the most homogeneous communities will see natural change over time. If there is no change, it is through artificial force. But even then, it is only matter of time before the inevitability of change happens anyway.
No matter how strong the convictions, time will destroy them all.
And we should remember this when we are fighting to maintain a status quo that will inevitably crumble. It doesn't matter the doctrine or rule, the only laws that can't be broken, are natural laws. And even they get broken, because we as limited humans are always lacking understanding.
In my country you will...
Countries change too. Your country is an atomic bomb away from being someone else's. Or a vote in parliament. Or a meteorite hitting it. You have very little control or even influence over "your" country, so is it really yours?
Your mind is yours. Mine is mine.
Yet, how much control do we have if we are unable to effectively swap the incompatible practices we have, for healthy, supportive, growth practices? Not your keys, not your crypto. Not your control, not your thoughts?
Most say, "people can choose for themselves" as long as they don't harm others. But, is a parent who by choice doesn't support their child to integrate into the culture they live within, harming no one?
Their child, their control?
"I just want what is best for my children."
Then Kill your darlings and throw away incompatible practices that become hurdles to their well being. Feed them the healthiest food, the healthiest information, the healthiest interpersonal interaction, and build the healthiest, most compatible practices that serve their wellbeing.
There is value in getting rid of cultural baggage, just as there is value in some cultural practices. But, that value dissipates when the practice becomes blind to the needs of the time, and doesn't evolve to remain relevant.
Traditional doesn't mean tenable.
If traditional owners used to eat turtles but that species is now endangered,stop eating turtles. We are far more knowledgeable than we were even a few decades ago, so we should be employing all that we know, to improve all that we can.
We can all start with ourselves.
But we don't live isolated and insulated within a bubble.
Taraz
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You engaged in a conversation that resulted in a lot of arguing on your anniversary? Well now I don't feel so bad about the last night lol.
We had a big argument last night and I was told that I come with too many disclaimers and never just say yes to anything. Basically I am a stubborn donkey 😀
Her words? :D :D
We didn't argue last night, but most times we do! :D
I must have misread your post :)
Yes, her words :)
Arriving in a foreign country has changed me a lot. For the better. I did leave behind a lot of "toxic" treats from my own culture, but I also preserved the healthy ones, those that let me have success and be happy here. Everything always changes. Just recently, with the fires and the community structure working to put them out, I'm thinking a lot about that. Again. As always.
But yes. If you come to a foreign land, no matter for what reason (except for being abducted to it), it's important to try to integrate. You don't have to lose everything you learned. But try to take the best out of each.
And this is the value of background diversity. Don't throw the baby pout with the bathwater.
damn, I thought you were going to tell me about the arguing. I read the whole thing!
Sorry to waste your time! :D
😂
Some traditions are valuable and worth keeping, but when a practice starts harming people or stopping them from growing, we should be willing to change it. I think that kind of self examination should start with ourselves before we expect others to change.
How do you see this in Nigeria? I get the impression from the news that "difference" isn't overly acceptable.
I think that impression is partly true especially when it comes to ethnic and religious differences. Nigeria is very diverse but people can still get defensive when someone challenges their culture religion or tribe. At the same time I don't think Nigerians are naturally intolerant. There is still a lot of mixing and acceptance in everyday life. The bigger problem is that differences can become very sensitive when identity is involved.
For me the important thing is to keep the good parts of our culture but also be willing to change the parts that harm people or stop us from moving forward.
I have read that for instance, there is a massive amount of intolerance of diverse sexual preference, with being gay illegal and tribe "justice" for those who are caught. It seems prety incredible to me to care about who other people concensually fuck, especially when there are so many bigger issues to deal with.
Yes I understand what you mean. It is a very sensitive issue here and there is still a lot of intolerance around it. I also think we have many bigger problems that deserve more attention than people's private lives
This subject I struggle with. My thoughts are that someone should adapt to their new environment. They should not expect the environment to adapt to them and their culture. On the other hand, cultures need to adapt and change to survive. As far as traditions, I am all for healthy ones. Truly believe in traditions that are healthy.
For sure. And the new environment has changed also, so it is new for those already there, which means, adaptation for the locals. Everything is always changing, so we all have to change.
Change is the one constant for sure. Agreed. Adapt or die.
Giving too much freedom to immigrants is a mistake that shows itself in the long run
Everyone should have freedom - but that is the thing with blind traditions, they don't promote freedom.
I agree with this. Sometimes we defend certain practices simply because they’re familiar, even when they no longer serve us. Being willing to question and change them is part of growth.
How do you find it locally where you are?
I noticed it in some of our everyday tradition and beliefs here. For example, children must never question an elder call or this is always how it's been done, so you must follow the pattern.
Ah, I wondered if this was mostly in relation to the hijab thing or the other type of head dress they use. I know a lot of people care about that here in the US. Personally, it doesn't really bug me too much. I think overall people just need to be a bit more empathetic.
Thanks.