While I am more "take it or leave it" when it comes to Puusti the dog, I am glad that Smallsteps has made him a part of her life, even though occasionally she does complain about having to take him out - even though I am the slave dog-walker most days. But, that is part of being a kid. She is really good with him and feeds him when she needs and when the weather is good at least, will take him on longer walks, talking to him all the way.
It is also nice when the two of us go for a walk with him together and we talk about random silly things. I don't get a lot of spontaneous joy from life these days, so I take what I can get when Smallsteps and I talk our nonsense and I love that she is getting wittier and more sarcastic, but still has that little kid innocence.
She might be the only reason I am still semi-sane.
She is also the only reason I want this world to be a better place. If it wasn't for her, I'd likely just throw my hands up in the air and say "fuck it" and turn a blind eye. I could try to live the ignorance is bliss life, be completely selfish, do only the things I want and not care about the consequences for me, or for others.
But she is here, so I have to try something.
Even if it doesn't work.
When unattached to others, it doesn't matter how many bridges are burned, because no relationship needs to survive. Just flit from place to place doing what is desired and when it no longer works, move on and leave the damage behind. With kids however, that isn't really possible - at least for most parents. There isn't the possibility to live life on a burning platform, because the children will need somewhere to stand.
I think there are a lot of people without kids who think they care about what is happening in and to the world, but I think they would have quite a different perspective, if they had kids of their own. There is something about the attachment and the assumed responsibility that requires a kind of seriousness that might not be possible with other circumstances. Perhaps it is possible, but maybe it is very unlikely.
It forces consideration for the future and in so doing, exploring what is required now. It means sacrifice and putting the needs of others first. It could be a selfish act because there is skin in the game, but it is an act that has kept us evolving and advancing for hundreds of thousands of years. So what happens when the majority of people do not have children and therefore, do not have a tether to the future?
Will anything past an individual life matter?
And if not, that is the end.
Taraz
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"There's a friend that sticks closer than a brother..."
So says the Holy Writ. I think it means that we can build really meaningful relationships with people not related to us, so much we care about their welfare same as we do those who are family to us.
That means we can so much want their well-being ensured, that we are anxious for society as we'd be if it was a child or sibling involved.
But still, you're right. Such people are really rare. But it does happen. I heard a story of a man who had a heart attack and passed on when news of the demise of his beloved friend for years reached him. I think that man might have been such a person.
I agree. The challenge is, people don't even care much for their families these days. Like you said, it is rare to find people who care about others that deeply now. Everything is disposable.
While I do care for our kids, I also realize that there is very little that I can influence. So I don't try to change the world, but I do try to help our children and leave them something after I am gone
What do you think they will need after you are gone?
A paid off place to live, some money for a rainy day and ideally a source of passive income...
And hopefully the skills to earn a good living.
Why is that spontaneous joy so elusive do you think? I feel the same way. I also think that my nieces and nephews give me hope that the world will one day be a better place. I dread thinking about the kind of world we are leaving to them.
I think it is partly because we are surrounded by the constant information flow that tells all is not well, and that much of what we do isn't actually "for ourselves" like it was much earlier. I reckon at least for me, I get the sense that no matter what is actually happening right now, the meta is going the wrong way.
Yes, that could be part of it I guess. I don't feel like I absorb as much of that outside stimuli, but perhaps more of it gets in than I realize.
Your storytelling is always so engaging and really makes me stop and reflect on my own life experiences. I would like to share one sentence I have learned from some of relatives "ENEMIES AREN'T BORN, THEY MADE" and many of people turn into our enemies with their non-professional / non-serious acts.
Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt piece!
People think being serious means not joking at all, but that is not the case. People are not serious about their behaviours, unwilling to align what they do with what they want.
A pet can bring out the best in us, particularly through shared experiences like those conversations on walks :)
Let's see how long she is willing to talk to me openly for - or at all :D
Thought-provoking as always, Taraz. Sometimes we build so many bridges that we lose sight of the landscape, but it’s the journey across them that defines us. Sending a sea of blessings to little Smallsteps; she is undoubtedly the best reason to keep moving forward, no matter how complex the path becomes.
While I have encountered a handful of people without kids who do care about what is happening in the world I have also known the type that you're talking about. One person in particular became a fervent believer in vhem and was basically deriding all of their friends who were so incredibly selfish and relentless and greedy enough to want horrible little crotch goblins (may have burnt a few bridges themselves this way) and were always banging on about how they were SO much better and environmentally friendly and conscious (without explicitly saying exactly that) purely because they didn't have kids and meanwhile they had a huge house full of Stuff that they "needed" (enough for a family of four and it was just them and their partner at the time) because they deserved it I guess.
it was very easy to "drift away" from them
Thank you