Since my wife has Covid or something (though she is still working), I took Smallsteps for a dry run to her new school, to ensure she knows the way. We will do it a few times before she starts next week, even though it is pretty easy - it just takes more time, and preparation. But it was a nice trip, and we stopped along the way to play in a park, and look out at the lake from a hill.
She is nervous about starting at a new school.
But I am pretty sure that she will enjoy it with kids that are more likely interested in learning and, the extra few hours of music classes per week. The learning environment matters a lot and when there are kids running around and screaming like lunatics, it is hard for the other children to not only focus, but also get the help they need when they need it.
I was talking with friends visiting, one of whom is a high school teacher, and how disruptive and difficult many children are these days. They aren't outliers, they are the norm. And then we talked about my own beliefs that one of the problems with the learning culture is that they make it "fun" for the kids in the early stages, gamifying the experience, but not teaching the skills for doing the repetitive, boring work required to actually be better than basic at something.
They are sauna boats, not house boats.
We have spent the last 200 years making a consumer culture, and the last 50 making it an individualistic pursuit. As a result, society has degraded and the individuals themselves, who are acting "in their best interest" have shifted best interest from being the best at something, to feeling the best in the moment. This has led to a massive wave of entitlement at all levels of society.
Is my child an entitled brat?
Perhaps this is something every parent should ask themselves and whether it is really in the best interest of the child, or if it is just easier for the parent. Many parents seem to be just as entitled as their kids, expecting to be able to do whatever they want in life, when they want to do it too.
The apple doesn't fall from the tree - not only because of genetics.
I am not raising a brat.
Taraz
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My favourite line at the moment is...
"Now you have TWO choices... First choice is you can carry on screaming and NOT get X Second choice is you can stop screaming and NOT get X. Either choice is ABSOLUTELY FINE, you choose.
Then a follow up some time later... "Now think about this, does screaming EVER get you what you want?"
It is similar to my favourite Finnish saying
"Do, or cry and do" :D
Based on my experience with my son Matthew, today's children are simply more adaptable when it comes to radical changes in moving and school. I am sure Smallsteps will have no problem, as the tools she brings from home, including independence and self-sufficiency, will be the pillars that will support her in this new phase. The pictures, the little girl's confident face, are, for me, a sure sign of her success. Blessings.
Yeah, we don't have any doubts that she will do well there and, it is more the fears of a little kid who still hasn't worked out how to deal with her uncertainty.
In my old school, it was super hard to focus when some kids were loud or just didn’t care about learning. It made me feel like I had to work twice as hard just to stay on track. Now that I’m in a better environment, I see how much easier it is to enjoy learning when the people around you want to grow too.That kind of support makes a huge difference, especially when starting something new. Wishing her all the best in her new school.
So much effort is put on bringing the bottom up to the average, ,when it is the above average that make most of the positive difference.
It's a tough profession these days and there are a lot of factors at play. We see a lot of mandates from the government level that tie our hands on a lot of things as educators. Then you have parents who don't take accountability and they raise their kids in turn. The teachers have to adapt and "make it fun" otherwise the majority of parents complain.
Teachers are no longer allowed to teach it seems - they are glorified nannies, hired to entertain the children so that the parents can work, or be on social media.
Yeah, that seems to be the case a lot of times.
Smallsteps seems like a curious, active person. Why is he worried? He'll soon realize his anxiety is unfounded.
It's interesting to portray different people as problematic.
I'm one of those who believe children should be self-aware and have high self-esteem.
They often have high self-esteem, without any foundational skills to back it up. That is part of the problem with entitlement. Overconfidence, but taking no responsibility.
It was great to see that you took your daughter to school, and i believe she will certainly do well since you have taught her resilience and discipline from home. I understand her being nervous, but it sounds like the new environment will be better for her learning and growth. I also agree with your point about modern education focusing too much on fun and not enough on building discipline or patience. I can say that this is actually caused by the demand of the modern day parenting and even government.
Additionally, the part about entitlement in society really stood out as many people, both kids and adults, do seem to want quick results without the effort. This is one of the problems we have in society today.
Yes - because it is easier for the parents to have kids that are having fun, than forcing them to do homework that they dislike. It is all about convenience, not learning what is needed.
Quick results with little effort, no matter how much it harms other people. I have a theory that the growing sexual toxicity and rape culture is being driven by entitlement and the "on-demand" mentality.
Changing schools can be tough. I remember crying one time because I had to change schools, my former school got very expensive and I had to change to the one my mom could afford. I balled out my eyes because even though I had not many friends in my old school at least I had a very tight friend that is ever ready to go anywhere with me in school...
I hope she adapts well, meeting new friends will also help her get more exposed and it's really lovely that you are there for her ❤️
I changed school at 15 - I was happy about it. New life!
It can be hard for many though, especially with good friends. However, Smallsteps will still have her friends in the neighbourhood here. :)
Of course she will....
Some kids are really good at making friends even in very new environments
I think it is really important for kids to feel backed up during changes, particularly when they are dealing with new challenges.
Yeah it is. I try and give her the backing because I know what it is like to live without it :)
Oh, tomorrow I'll remind my kids that school starts next week in Finland. They started whining that there's only 1 month left before school :)
It has been a short ten week break here! :D
When I was a child, I really wanted to go to school early. My parents took me to the school, the teachers asked me some questions, gave me a few tests, and decided it was too early. So, I started school when I was supposed to. And I was really disappointed. It was very hard for me. So maybe being nervous about school is actually better, at least her expectations aren’t too high.
Why were you disappointed?
She isn't nervous about the school it self, as she has been going to school for a few years now. She is changing the school though, so she doesn't know anyone there yet.
It was really hard for me. I didn’t like the first years of school. I struggled with handwriting practice, those endless lines of sticks, loops, and letters. I was always very curious and expected new knowledge, not repetitive drills like that. But then I discovered the library and started reading books meant for older kids. That’s when school finally became interesting for me.
I’m sure she’ll find good friends easily!
So you wanted to go to school early, but you didn't want to do the learning part of school?
I didn’t like some parts of it, but I’ve always loved discovering new knowledge. In my country, back in my school years, there was no any gamification of learning process. It was brutal. For example, in beggining of 00s we were supposed to learn computers just by reading about them.
So I believe that education is getting better, and I think today’s children will grow up smarter than the previous generations.
People have always criticized the younger generation. Recently I was reading Homer’s Iliad, and it also mentioned how the heroes of the present were not like their fathers. It was about Odysseus and Achilles! Even Socrates complained about young people and about books (probably writing), saying that they would make people stop remembering things. This song is as old as the world. Every generation thinks it is better than the next one, and that the hardships of the past forged stronger characters. I don’t agree with this.
Wishing her a smooth start, your support and presence are already shaping her journey in the best possible way.
Hopefully she enjoys the challenge.
I wish her the same. Good luck to her.
Good luck for the new adventure(school)… she is so cute 😊
She is cute.
Este texto me tocó, porque nace de algo tan simple como un paseo al colegio, pero termina abriéndonos los ojos sobre cómo estamos educando y viviendo.
Qué importante es que como padres nos detengamos a pensar, a mirar realmente a nuestros hijos y a preguntarnos si lo que hacemos es por ellos… o por comodidad nuestra.
Tu hija no parece una “brat”, sino una niña con suerte: tiene un padre presente, consciente y dispuesto a cuestionarse. Ojalá más personas se animaran a hacer lo mismo.
Con cariño @florecemujer 🌹
Blidsoo fugdew dopliugger vawerequ hj ajeh babbderdup hopmierwoop.
The article is in English. Please write in English, unless you are speaking to someone else who isn't me.
Thanks for the note. I truly appreciated your article and just wanted to share how much it touched me. I'll write in English from now on 😊
Thank you.
You are really doing a great job by supporting her on her new journey of life. Thank you for sharing
Hola, me gustan sus fotos.
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The girl is definitely in good hands. A calm, focused environment makes such a big difference, she’ll probably settle in quicker than you expect.
Lily was somewhat entitled in the sense that she was used to being able to do what she wanted, when she wanted. It takes a lot of energy to work on that, and the Waldorf school system is more individualistic in the sense that they grant each kid their space and speed in learning and such. Sometimes a little too much. But between the teacher and I, we got it quite good under control. I wonder how it will be when Lily comes back from her mom.
The good thing is that by putting in some extra work at home, with games that make learning the numbers and such more fun, she got really interested in maths and reading, and finds every new equation and word fun, though the process is the same.
I guess the most important thing is what you write in the end - as parents, we have to reflect. We have to see our kids as how they really are, not make excuses for them, but see where the problem (or future problem) is and what it's based on, and then work the bases. But taking the time and energy to do that, to think further than the surface, is not easy, and many parents prefer to see their kids as perfect and the other people as flawed.
New school sounds like a much better fit for her, hope it exceeds expectations and she loves it there :D
Finding the right educational fit is kind of critically important and it will never be a one size fits all.
I'm going to extremely strongly completely and utterly disagree with this with the very strong and obvious bias of having been a homeschooler and currently being a coach drawing from my very statistically insignificant sample of three kids that I homeschooled directly, interacting regularly with a wider community of homeschoolers and my rather small groups that I coach with their fluctuating yearly populations but being able to see the development of the ones that have stuck around (basically from childhood to adulthood in some cases). I have and continue to gamify whatever I can/be bothered doing (I can theoretically gamify everything but some things would take more time than I have), and it very definitely teaches the skills to do the work as it's still the same repetitive and boring work done in a much less boring fashion.
If/when they're mature enough to realise that they need to do repetitive boring work quite regularly in life (and some people never do) most will either figure out how to go into a meditative/zen state, backburn if it's menial (think about/plan something else) or gamify it.
There's a bit of scientific evidence supporting play-based learning which I remember doing a lot of research on aeons ago when I was starting homeschooling. I of course never have anything on hand because one of the many things I can never retain is "might need this later" so I never save/reference things which were a passing interest at the time. You could start with the Wikipedia article which has a million references down the bottom if the interest took you (which is probably where I started).
Nothing drives this point home more than meeting the parents of your students on parent/teacher night. It is unbelievable how true this is and the kids who typically need the help have parents who are in need of help too!
I think it is even worse than gamifying the system! Everyone is so used to getting their answers immediately. Google, AI, whatever it is, kids these days want to search for an immediate answer. But they don't take the time to process the information. To consider and decide for themselves if the answers truly make sense. And if they can't figure out an answer themselves right away, they don't have the willpower or stamina to persevere trying to find a solution. They typically give up and ask/search for help. The next generation is soft as feathers...
I am sure you see all kinds on the spectrum.
A bunch of quitters. If things aren't handed to them on a silver platter, they are lost. The future doesn't look bright - it looks stupid.
It is by design. I'm trying to teach curiosity, perseverance, and teamwork!