Waiting Impatiently

in Reflections4 days ago

I think I spend too long waiting. It is not that I just sit around doing nothing in hope, but it is like no matter what I do, I end up waiting for some kind of better times, that just don't seem to arrive. And sure, people talk about "be in the moment" and I actually tend to be, but what happens when the majority of moments are shit?


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Be grateful?

It is a funny one, isn't it? Because we are told we should be grateful for our existence, even if we are having a terrible existence. It is a little nonsensical. Like being abused and then having to say thank you to the abuser for the experience. To me, "be grateful" seems like one of those pithy comments people throw out without actually having thought much about what it means, or whether it applies to the current conditions. A lot of grateful, unhappy people out there apparently.

Will better times come?

Sure. It is easy to have better times as a human. All you have to do is pretend that whatever times are being had now, are better. Reframe the moment to be awesome, even when you are in pain, being beaten or incredibly unhappy. It's all good. Obviously if someone isn't enjoying their experience, it is their fault, because they can change their mind at any time and be experiencing deep and profound, life-affirming joy.

Easy. Problems of the world solved.

Next time you have any negative feeling about anything at all, just change your mind about it and love the experience it brings. It may be that your take away order was incorrect, or it could be that your child was just killed in a drone strike. Both are the same, once you change your mind about it.

Don't worry. Be happy.

Am I being facetious?

Yes. Because as much as it might actually be possible to do exactly what I just said and experience both events similarly, it is just not the way the majority of us work, or will ever work. If we spent decades meditating on it, maybe we could, but then, we also wouldn't likely be eating take away or have children. There is an opportunity-cost to learning skills, which is why so few of us really learn anything significant in our lives. Instead, we pretend that what we do learn is significant, even if it is just a regurgitated tidbit of information seen in a documentary about snails.

Snails have thousands of teeth.

Significant.

So hear I am, waiting for something better to happen, with very little hope that anything better will happen. Like I was discussing with my daughter today about superstitions and luck, we are able to make our own luck by being prepared to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. What I didn't say to her though is, I don't think I prepared myself in the right way for what arose in my life. There have been plenty of opportunities, but I didn't have whatever I needed at the time to take them.

The right opportunity will present when ready.

When I'm ready, or the opportunity? Because I am ready for many opportunities, but the ones that come don't seem to be the type of opportunity for me. We are all always prepared for the right opportunity, aren't we? It doesn't mean it is a good opportunity though, or one that is going to satisfy us, but we are always ready for something - even if it isn't much.

So what am I ready for?

Not much it seems in the current environment I am in, so I guess I am going to have to change my environment, or change myself. I am pretty stubborn, so it might well be easier to change the environment. But I guess I should change myself, because that is what all those smart gurus and the idiots that follow them keep repeating.

I guess changing can wait until tomorrow.

Taraz
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As someone struggling with chronic illness, hearing someone assure me that "things will get better" rings hollow. I've done what I can, it wasn't enough, and I'm burned out. I am also kust waiting, patiently or otherwise, for I don't know what.

I've done what I can, it wasn't enough, and I'm burned out.

Unless going through it or having gone through it, many just don't understand how wearing it can be. When it is prolonged for many years or decades, "keep your chin up" doesn't help much.

Hopefully whatever does arrive, it is an improvement for you.

I was actually kind of thinking this same thing today. I keep saying to myself I just want crypto to pop off and have a big run. I feel like I have been saying that for close to a decade now. It's pretty clear it's probably not going to happen, but I keep hoping. I worry another ten years from now I will have wasted my life waiting.

I worry another ten years from now I will have wasted my life waiting.

Hope his a terrible human condition, isn't it? It helps in many ways too, but I feel it is being leveraged by a few in society to keep us hoping, while they keep on taking.

Yes, that is very true. I almost wish I hadn't discovered crypto sometimes because it gave this hope that has never really materialized or I keep shooting myself in the foot. It's led to a lot more regret than actual winning!

They also say that the only constant in this world is change. I do feel like most of that change usually not into the good direction...

This is the problem I have with the current progression of things. I reckon in the past we were heading generally into a better direction, albeit imperfectly. But now, it has been reversed where there are some good things, but our quest for optimisation of some aspects, means we are now generally heading for worse.

Or maybe you and I are turning into the old men? There is a saying "grumpy old men" which implies that older men see things in a negative light...

The expectation to feel thankful for being alive while dealing with difficult situations can be overwhelming. Sometimes it seems we are supposed to just grin and act like everything is okay, but that's not how life works. This roleplay has increased in recent years as things go worse everyday.

This roleplay has increased in recent years as things go worse everyday.

Roleplay is a good term for it. The script we have been given is not who we are, or want to be, but we are forced to act along in the play.

It all depends on the situation. Sometimes you can things around, other moments there is nothing else to do then to sit it out.

Mentally both can be hard. In the first case you probably have to step out of your comfort zone, which is easier for some than for others. In the second case you can feel helpless.

Concerning the mind. It is easy to say for people stand up and act but the himan mind is sometimes hard to control!

It is the helpless feeling that scares me the most. Being uncomfortable to some degree is okay... Helpless, is the most uncomfortable.

The mind is very hard to control and pretty much everyone who has said they can control theirs, has failed under a little pressure applied in the right spots.

A beer to that.
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As humans, we can wait for good times and good times come to us but when good times come we may not remember them. But we can remember bad times quite well. Life is easy if we can enjoy it but along the way we complicate it. If we look around us, we will see that many people are suffering more than us. If we look at them and compare them, we can consider our good times compared to them. I think it's more important to set ourselves mentally than to wait for good times to come. Because in our society, there are people who, despite being in a lot of danger, feel very happy and accept anything with a smile.

Bad is twice the impact (of not more) than good.

The problem with comparing to others, is that we all have different experiences. Some things are incomparable, even if they have similar conditions otherwise.

For the last 10 years, luck has been coming my way every 3-4 years. It's like waves, and I can't figure out how it works.

Are you talking about money again, or something else?

All together.

I end up waiting for some kind of better times, that just don't seem to arrive

That's a mood I don't like having/sharing x_x Though at least in my case the majority of moments are okay.

Because we are told we should be grateful for our existence, even if we are having a terrible existence

I think that's more aimed at people who are so very negative and pessimistic that they think their life is the absolute worst when it's really not.

I do think about how much worse it could be when I'm feeling down and thinking everything sucks

There's a big difference between patiently waiting and been prepared AND waiting and not been prepared.
When there's still breathe in our lungs and the hearts still pumps then there is a chance for hope or opportunities @tarazkp there should a valid reason for waiting patiently but again when there's no valid reason for waiting, the impatient waiting seems baseless and irrelevant definitely will lead to disasters.

what's that saying? luck = opportunity meets preperation, or something like that. but yea.. i seem to always be living / waiting for what's to come.. next year, or just around the corner.. I try to live in the moment and be 'happy' about things. :)

 3 days ago  Reveal Comment

Thanks :)