Bro, you think I am joking?
While the very walls of the fabric of our reality are crumbling down in dumpster fire full of my money in it, and while everyone is seeing red, there is no better time to post about jacked Kangaroos.
I guess I don't really know how it happened, but I bumped into a picture of a super ripped kangoo, and I thought "hey, that's interesting".
Next thing you know, I opened a can of worms that I didn't even think existed, Kangaroos are bullies, gym bros, super jacked and they don't give a shit, are you ready?
Exhibit Number 1: Kangaroo Steals His Gf
This brave man was trying to play it cool next to Chadgooroo, but it's obvious that he is no match, and after having eating his lunch and taken his lunch money, what you don't know is that the girl ended up with our Chad.
When his girlfriend giggled "Look at his muscles, it is huge", you can tell it's already game over for poor Brian.
Exhibit Number 2: Don't Arm Wrestles with the Gurus
You see, the way that Kangaroo is holding that man's arm, he is trying to show him that he is actually owning the human and not the other way around.
It's the kangaroo's farm, and the human serves him, King Kangaroo, the ultimate Bro, with the mightiest grip of all.
Exhibit Number 3: Kangaroo Flexing Like Nate Diaz
This is the Kangaroo
This is Nate Diaz
As you can tell, this Kangaroo clearly is watching the UFC, and took inspiration from no one else but Stockton's slapper, Nate Diaz.
It's no secret, that a good flex, can win you a fight.
And you would think that it's not a common thing around kangaroos to flex like that, but check this dude out:
And you can hear that everyone is clearly excited by the pure awesomeness of this flexing Chad.
Exhibit 4: RIP Roger the ultimate Alpha Kangaroo
This is a good reminder that you can't fuck with kangaroos, it will chew your head off and play soccer with it. Sorry for being crass, I meant football.
Roger was the ultimate Alpha Chad chasing that poor man all day, even when with crutches haha...
He was one of the most jacked kangaroos and pretty famous all around the world. He passed away a few years ago but will be remembered as the prime example of what happens when you let your friend bully you all day. Rest in Peace...
Counter Argument 1: Kangaroos are good guys
That's the thing when you get domesticated, whether you are a kangaroo or a human, you'll end up becoming someone else's bitch.
This Kangaroo clearly forgot to do his pushup routine and got wrecked by a stronger and bigger kangaroo, it's just basic Kangaroo math.
Lucky for him, he found an old lady that doesn't seem to care about his size...Very relatable story.
But Kangaroos are also super creepy:
Look, I understand that they are amazing creatures, but imagine being woken up in the middle of the night by a screetching sound at the window, and facing one of these little guys. There's a real stalker vibe, especially when they don't really seem to be impressed by humans either.
Made with Dall E
Red Kangaroos Are Always Ready To Go
This stance right here, is the mark of a true counterpuncher. The Kangaroo is staying upward, chin up, waiting for the punch, luring his opponent, that was something Mayweather used constantly with the shoulder roll.
Look the way he tosses around that dog, of course, he "wants to be the dominant male", a good reminder not to skip leg days...
These Kangaroos gym bros seem to always find some friendly conservationist to torment.
That's all for today, share your traumatic kangaroo experience in the comments section.