Welcome to Punday Monday!
We’re now posting in Comedy Open Mic: https://peakd.com/c/hive-164166/created, and thanks to @amirtheawesome1, the winner will receive 2HBD from them!
Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is Neighborhood.
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties
New To Punday?
Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.
How To Make a Pun
This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun
Rules for the PUN-test:
- If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 1 HSBI for a win, 2 HBD for the winner from Comedy Open Mic thanks to @amirtheawesome1], your pun must be your original work
- Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.
Last Week's Punday Monday:
Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!
Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...
OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?
Best Pun of the Entire Week...
Best Overall Pun (click it)...
Y’all, I missed a week! Sorry! Thanks to @wrestlingdesires for noticing. Just brain fart. But we’re back!
Winner is @thequizshow! Lots of good ones from everyone!
This Week's Pun Topic Is:
It’s hard to be fashionable in my neighborhood, because give or take a few bits of flair we all have the same a-DRESS.
I'm So Good at Puns
If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!
- @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
I saw some kid writing his algebra homework on the sidewalk with chalk. I asked him if he always does this and he says, "yeah, I got street smarts"
What did the inspector say about the bakery theft in the neighborhood?
"I have heard a lot of stupid crimes, but this one really takes the cake".
Sounds good @improv, let me see if I can think something good for our neighborhood!
My neighbors are really chill. Probably because we live on the same cool-de-sac
My neighbour’s wife and mine are best friends and I overheard them talking about how their husbands don’t open up emotionally.
I looked across to find my neighbour also eavesdropping on them. Later, over drinks, he laughed and said “ That’s right we share a wall.”
Wow, I won. Thank you @improv!
Let's see what people are coming up with this time.
The real estate agent didn't bother to show her new listing in this grated community to the Camembert family. They'd probably turn their nose up at the mere thought of it. Is this cheesy enough? lol
Have a great week.
John Fogerty just moved into my neighborhood. I'm a huge Creedance fan, but I haven't approached him yet because I'm kinda shy-even though I always see him down on the corner.
Our street is in need of repair.
There are potholes and cracks. Every time the kids try to go rollerblading or ride bikes, They end up crashing and falling down. But I always tell them ...
It's their dumb asphalt!
This what I call comedy lol
Geometry elements are so neighborly. After all, they connect just around the corner...
It's where I live. But it's not home. It's a place of noise, one I'd gladly for a country cabin give.
This neighborhood is noisy and loud. And yet of my own house and yard, I am proud!
Did you hear about the 2 neighborhood houses that fell in love?
It was a lawn-distance relationship.
i'm pretty sure my next door neighbor is very disapproving of any kind of sexual encounters.
every night, i hear her bemoaning during sex.
i hear her be moaning LOLOLOL get it? she's moaning. but i think she bemoaning, and thus the confusion has arisen!!! i think she does not approve but she probably loves it!
I was a little scared at first when the little fellow from Ireland just moved in down the street, but I am now starting to feel a little lucky having a Leprechaun in the hood.
Me and my wife just moved in to this upscale community, I'm not even sure that we belong there-the neighborhood watch is a Rolex!
I live on a dead end street with no outlet.
There are drug dealers everywhere!
The junkies just throw their trash all over the place.
So I wake up every morning and clean it all up.
I guess you could say that I cull da sacks.
That Peter Parker is just something else. He just moved into my grandmother's apartment building and he's always opening the door for her, he helped her carry in her groceries and even killed a few bugs for her... What a friendly neighborhood spider man!
Bugs Bunny is definitely from New York City. He's wise-cracking AND has street smarts... Some even say he has a bit of an accent. I heard he still has a place in one of the five burrows...
My neighbor was visibly bent out of shape.
"What's wrong man?" I asked.
"I just can't believe the power hookers have over our lives. Can you believe I have to pay a $500 fine because some organization of whiny prostitutes don't like how I painted my house!"
"An organization of whiny prostitutes? That doesn't sound right," I said
"Yeah it's right here. I got this letter fining me $500 from something called the the Ho Moaners Association."
You see he got a letter, which was clearly from the Home Owners Association but he's illiterate (you are just finding this out now). He had his wife or someone read it to him and he heard Ho (slang for whore which is a vulgar name for a prostitute) Moaners (people who gripe, or whine) and Association (literally means association). Ho Moaners Association.
There is an old neighborhood with several streets, the most famous is honey street. Every day its residents are stung by bees😊
Great... Another HORSE moved in down the block. There goes the NEIGHborhood!
Edit: Upon further review, it seems that some of the jockeys are big into crypto and even willing to help me start a new STABLE COIN!
Every year on my street, we have a little fair where we close the street down for the afternoon and all being our Lego collections out for display.
This year, I made a life-sized Lego sculpture of Joe Biden's head-it was truly one of the best block parties I've ever been to.
If current Sinaloa cartel boss Ismael Zambada García lives next to you is he your whole world?
Nah, he's just your neighborhood.
He's your neighbor. He's a hood. He's your neighbor hood. Your neighborhood.
All dads roll a -1 this week to their pun for going a week without monday punday
I will be good to my neighbors starting from today because I got popped by their globin son.