Breaking tables on Hive

in Comedy Open Mic2 years ago

made with canva.

It’s always different types of Tweeps or different types of YouTubers or even different types of Facebook users, let’s switch it up and talk about;

The different types of Hive users in the blockchain.

Through the past few months here on Hive, I have noticed some funny, un funny, adventurous, questionable and serious personalities in the blockchain so let’s get into it.


The Whales.

Whoever came up with this name must’ve been on to something.
Everyone knows whales are the biggest in the ocean, they either feed on fishes or later become food to fishes.
Same thing applies to the blockchain, the Whales are the biggest and baddest boys of Hive and I know I’m not the only one that gets excited when I post my article and few minutes later I get up to 40 notifications at once, you already know a whale has splashed haha.


The “Whalabes”

Get it? “Whales wannabes”.
Like we get it, you’re above 75 reputation and you get more than the average upvotes for your least interactive post but relax, you’re still not a whale. At best maybe a dolphin.
These are the type that always upvote a post with 15% or less then you see 0.03$ yikes. It’s always hard to see them give more than 30% votes lol thank you next with your two cents.


The Imposters.

“Hive isn’t all about money” yet these same people make three to four post per day 😂
Oh please.
Yes we shouldn’t exploit the blockchain but don’t you act like a saint when you know damn well you aren’t. We all post with high hopes that we get dollarz upon dollarz.
From me to you, please leave it to the blockchain to fish out the real exploiters themselves. Thanks


The Hivewatchers and friends.

Have you ever gotten a warning from these people? If no, then don’t ever pray for it.
Although hivewatchers are quite understandable, I mean that is their sole job, to watch and warn.
And honestly their warnings are not so harsh except you’re blacklisted or a dickhead.

NOW the “Friends” are here for the whole smoke.
God forbid you post in the wrong community, cross post or plagiarize. These people have zero mercy.
Not only will they give you the most strict comment of your life, they will also part you with series of valuable downvotes.
And it doesn’t even end there, if you mistakenly post another article, boom you’ve realized you’re on their automatic downvote list and into the rabbit hole you go.

Whatever you’re thinking to test them, DONT. They will find you and they will make your life on Hive miserable.


The Crypto cult.

At this point, I am glad that they have their own front end to themselves because these guys mean business.
You will hardly find a Leofinance user post in any other community. I have one question, is it an abomination?
Their level of loyalty is at the highest peak I have ever witnessed. They like each other’s posts and engage too, it’s almost like they’re one big family.

They might be the richest community I know because you’ll hardly find a leolion that don’t get paid either from regular votes or airdrops and the likes.
Honestly if I’m opportune to learn crypto, I’d be more than glad to hop on this bus hehe


That concludes my list and if the shoe fits you’re gonna have to wear it.
I am not even spared.

Did I miss any other one? Let me know in the comments, this should be fun! 😆

all memes were created by me using source


Yes oo
You missed my category
Posting about their daily lives and enjoyments 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I sincerely enjoyed reading this Winnie

I'm gonna have to make a part two in that case
"The I can’t come and kill myself” types. Eg you 🤣
I’m glad you enjoyed reading hehe

Yes o..we cannot come and kill our self geng

See them 😄

I didn't see myself here o. The it is what it is group. Just post when your body wants to not for anything jare.

Part two coming up 😂

This girl is a clown😂😂😂😂😂.... Leofinance and loyalty are 5&6... Leofinance till death do part😂😂...It is that meme about contemplating to vote 15% or 14.5%😂😂😂 what are you thinking about when you are not a whale😂😂😂...

I enjoyed this one... Welcome to the community 👏👏👏🔥🔥🔥

Thanks 😂

Lmao😜😜😜😃😃😃😃😃 the whales wannabe cracked me up the most. It's really annoying when someone gives you a 15% upvote that isn't even upto a cent. Like what are you tryna do? I don't get it at all.

As for those that make more than one post q day, I don't think hive is against that. I think it's allowed so long you aren't breaking any rules. Some of us just stick to one post cos even the one post is always naked without votes😃😃 can you blame us then if we try three but then it's hypocrisy if you criticise what you practice.

The Leo people, those ones I don't even understand

Great post by the way

Yeah you can post as many times as you want but like you said, don’t criticize what you practice haha.
Leolions are built different!


The Leo people, those ones I don't even understand

I am a Leo, and I have a question for you two wonderful ladies?
Have either @winniecorp or @zyzymena of both of you posted in Leo using the LeoFinance front end?

No I have not tried it cos I don't know what post to make there😄😄😄

mmm well I want you to, and I will come up with something for you to post, there is method in my madness, and once I have had a wee think I shall tell you :)
Hope you are having a flipping fantastic Friday zyzy 😁

Hehehe! Alright then. I shall be waiting for the induction into the lion's club😜

jaja I just saw all your comments on Iska's new account post haha

Hehhehehe! Now you know what I think of the club 😜😜

I'm just seeing this T!
I'm always open to new ideas and recommendations, can’t wait to see what you have in store for us to post about.
Or see if you’ll successfully turn us into leolions hahaha

ah you will be a leo lioness JW 🦁
I need to see what the Leo post was about now, I know today was the last day, I shall have a look and maybe tag you in a post today, let me see!

Alright, waiting on you T

Girllllll, the Whale wannabes got me🤣🤣🤣. Meanwhile, you didn't write about lover girls like me o🙂. You see that Leofinance thingy, it's so beautiful to see. I'm going to get my footing in thst community with time, I can't even wait.

Lastly, I loveddddddddd this!

I got you in part two 😂
Honestly, like they say, follow who know road 😩

I'm glad you liked 😂

You better 'got me' in part two😂. You're welcome😁.


What do whales like to eat?
Fish and ships.

Credit: boboman
@winniecorp, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @holovision
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ

This was brilliant! That's right, I said brilliant, and I'm not even from the UK.

I got a good chuckle at 'whalabes', 'cause that was funny.

But this:

You will hardly find a Leofinance user post in any other community. I have one question, is it an abomination?

...almost made me spit out a good drink, I laughed so hard!

I laughed again just now when I proofread this reply.

I, myself, am a 'Hive ain't fer the money' user, but I don't actually post that often, even with two accounts. Real life pays the bills, Hive is just my secret bank account for when I need to flee America to some country with no extradition treaty.

You get the point!
Reading your comment to mine made me laugh too🤣

Congratulations @winniecorp! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):

You got more than 1000 replies.
Your next target is to reach 1250 replies.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

 2 years ago (edited) 

Everyone knows whales are the biggest in the ocean

Apparently, you haven't seen me swimming in the ocean.

Cries in pizza




Cries in pizza

🤣 my bad

Men!!! girl this your post carry mad vibes!

I'm already finding my way through the leovommunity. Those guys voting 15% and it's still worth 0.00 is so crazy, like don't even vote at all please.

You didn't talk about how difficult it is to join a new Community, and trying to get their attention, lastly, everyone here is for the money ooo one way or the other. No one will spend all of their time writing, commenting, and even upvoting without having in mine to get something out from it. Many will say I'm not here for the money but let them post complete 1 month without up-votes, they will get exhausted and move on trust me.

Not one lie detected lol! They are imposters for real.
Part 2 is coming up, check back in a few 😁

Oh really, men!!! I can't wait, tag me please. This is going to be fun throughout haha

Damn I saw this late.
It's up already though!

I'm there already 😊

Adding The Anywhere Belle Face users

Na front o 😂

hehe I like this JW. Although the percentage of vote I do too and my vote is worthless 🤣

Lmfao 😂 mine too 🤣

hehe we are the same JW 🤣🤣🤣

I don't disagree 😂

yes great minds and all that stuff JW, hope you are having an awesome weekend 😁

I'm having the best! Gonna blog about it soon.
And you T?

Oh that is awesome JW, mine is good been doing some weeding and clearing up!

This is so funny!

I don't know where I fit in yet. Perhaps, as I've read your 2nd post first, I'll be in the Free Spirit category. I can see myself writing every day for a whole week and then being off doing other stuff for weeks after. Lol!

Who knows? There's still time to decide, or maybe you'll write Part 3, and I'll see myself in that post. I definitely think there are more Hive types to explore yet.

Haha I'll see what I can do, I'm glad you fit in at least lol

Omor😂😂 You see those who belong to the Friends group? They've visited me twice and I wanted to cry😂 I was warned twice for posting in the wrong community. It wasn't serious but I was a newbie so I was afraid that I'll be penalized. 😂 Since then, I've been very careful. I went on a community hunt, infact I'm still hunting. Affliction shall not rise a second time.

Hahaha thank God you quietly complied 😂