I admit that I sometimes struggle with truly listening as well.
Me too. Who doesn't? Usually when I'm doing other stuff and my kids (teenagers) hop in I don't want to break my concentration. But having a conversation with teenagers can be scarce, so I'd better stop what I'm doing and listen to them.
I lost my mom when I was 18, and it was devastating for mel.
I would almost say that I know how you feel in this case because I was 17 when my mom died. People shouldn't die young. At 17 or 18 your still a kid and have so many things in life you need to share. I hope you found a way to give it a place...
For me it was more a relief. My mom was sick for three years (cancer) and was in a lot of pain in the end. We actually were glad that her pain ended. But the time after that is hard... I did form me to who I am now. I learned a lot from that period.
Thank you for your input, and I hope you have a great day, my friend.
Have a great day too mate!
I was 18 when my mom passed away and she was only 54. That’s really not old at all. I’m now 57, so I’ve already outlived her. She had cancer that started in her breast and spread very fast. I’m the youngest of five children (and was always considered the black sheep), everyone knew she was dying except for me. Maybe they thought they were protecting me, but I took it very hard, and I think that’s probably when my depression really started.
The day before she died, I went to visit her in the hospital, and she made me promise to come back the next day and bring her some orange juice. I promised and that’s what I planned to do. But the next day, my oldest brother asked me to go fishing with him. I told him I needed to take Mom her orange juice, but he persuaded me to go with him instead. When we were getting the boat ready, he realized he’d forgotten the ship-to-shore radio and went home to get it while I waited. When he came back, his wife was with him, which struck me as odd. He looked at me and said, “There’s no easy way to say this, Mom’s dead.” I broke down sobbing. He persuaded me to go fishing anyway; I didn’t want to, but I went along. I ended up spending the whole trip in the cabin crying.
For many years, and even now, from time to time, I still feel immense guilt for not bringing her that orange juice. Sorry for rambling on. You are not alone in your feelings. Thanks for listening, and it’s nice to make your acquaintance. Hope you have a good weekend, my friend.
It must be strange to outlive your mother. My mother was 47 and I'm 45 now. My oldest daughter turns 17 this year, which is the age I had when I lost my mother.
Kids of that age can't oversee all the things they do. They are still just kids, like you were back then although at 18 you're called an adult already.
I think you shouldn't feel guilty and I think your mother would have thought (or thinks) the same. But I also understand that this is hard for you to accept.
I hope it doesn't bother you too much and you have more good memories of your mom.
Thank you so much. I have mostly forgiven myself, but you know how there are moments when we start replaying memories in our minds—things we've done or haven't done, ways we may have hurt others, or wrongs we've committed. Sometimes, during those times, I remind myself that not visiting her was trauma speaking, and thankfully, I've mostly moved past it, except for when I start feeling depressed. I have a wonderful "family" in my Creative Work Hour friends, and I still have many good memories of her. I guess I was a mama’s boy, lol!
Forty-seven is such a young age for your mom to have passed away, and I am truly sorry you lost her when you were so young.
Good to hear you have peace with it (at leat, most of the times).
47 is way too young, but luckily I was old enough to have memories of her. Not everyone an say that.
Have a great Sunday.