Recently I took a drive in the countryside and found myself at a small, but active, village full of little shops and stalls. It's my sort of place and I stayed a while.
As I wandered I came across many personalities, most stall-holders, and almost all of them were happy to chat about their wares, the day and life in general. As I meandered around I gravitated to the stalls that held things I like and I spent a good amount of time at a little home made craft stall which is where I took the photo you see in this post. Those scented candles had the most amazing fragrance and despite them being hand made and imperfect I wanted one; I suppose, because they were hand made and imperfect I wanted one.
I spoke to the lady running the stall and somehow we clicked. We'd swapped basic stories in an intertwined-conversational way and I discovered that she'd recently lost her husband of 40 years. She teared up a little, but soon wiped them away and smiled and began telling me how they would do crafts together; her candles and trinkets and his wooden toy-making. It sounded so lovely and comforting and I was left with a happy feeling for them and that they'd spent so many years together. I noticed how she trailed her hand lovingly over one such wooden toy upon the table as if it was the back of his hand. It was beautiful.
The woman told me she misses her husband every day and that she speaks to him at times; something she made me promise to tell no one else. But she'd vowed to continue the crafts and her stall, even without him, as she met such lovely people and enjoyed giving them something that made them happy in return. I purchased a candle...Ok, I purchased two, and we said our farewell's after a hug. It was a nice moment.
I wandered off aimlessly...Not really, I walked purposefully towards the ice cream shop feeling in need of that cold, creamy comfort and thought about that lady and her story.
Her fire had extinguished, she told me, her spirit cold and seemingly dormant after her husband died, but she thought about him, those years they spent together and the things they'd created, shared and overcome together and she realised that he was still there, a spark or ember forever within her, and she knew she needed to get back to herself, to carry on, whilst carrying his flame. She does that through her crafts, the stall, the people she meets and conversations she has.
It was a very uplifting encounter for me, and is exactly the type of encounter that helps the lady keep her fire burning. As I ate my ice cream I hoped I'd be as empowered, courageous and brave as she was if in the same situation.
Becca 💗
Her grief and pain will be marked on her heart, but at the same time, she has plenty of good and happy memories with her late husband. Thus, I like how you relate it to your food and explain some of your realizations. That's a good one.
!PIZZA
Thanks for your comment.
I think it's important to understand how people handle loss...we will all lose someone at some stage in life.
Becca 🌸
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Isn't it funny that a perfect stranger could make you feel that way? Sometimes that is compounded by the fact that they are, in fact, a perfect stranger and know nothing about you. They don't have a vested interest in you, most times talking freely. My friends might walk on eggshells around me, or maybe not. But, they might.
She could tell you that she talks to her husband, but not to tell anyone else.
There isn't a person in the world who escapes grief. Sometimes it comes when you are not equipped to handle it and - who am I kidding? There is no handling grief. It is raw and there and will heal when it is ready. There is no expiration date on it.
Have you ever noticed how people grieved differently (in some ways) than they do now? The wives would wear black and go to church every morning, never looking at another man for the rest of their life. That surely was a proclamation of her love... but, is it?
I totally got off track. Sorry.
I recognize that inner fire. You are such a deep soul with thoughts that touch ever so gently but pondered long after. I hope you are enjoying that candle - or two.
!LUV
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He dswigle, it's good to have you back.
I thought about that lady later in the day, the way she opened right up, and I tend to agree with you in that it was because I was a stranger, there were no ties or links, that she felt comfortable. Also, I suppose, sometimes people resonate with others and maybe she felt that?
Grief is a terrible thing and I believe none of us handle it well. But it's maybe not there for us to handle, more just as a way to quickly and spontaneously pour out emotions that the right ones can be found and used? I don't know, maybe it's there to inspire other things that help us move forward.
Thanks for your comment, as always, I enjoy them, and they have meaning.
Becca 🌷