Once again, I've been absent for a week.
Out of all of my years of existence, this one has been the most brutal, at least in the form of event onslaught.
I am barely keeping my head above the water.
For the past week I have been on the road almost daily, with most of the travel being a whirlwind of a trip to the Columbia River Gorge to celebrate my Grandma's life with my family and friends.
Grams was just the best. Like truly, the grandma with Mentos and Tic Tacs in her purse, a farm to visit and learn from her on, and arms always open for a hug. To say I loved my Grandma was an understatement. I truly dislike the idea of the world without her and Papa in it, but I also know that everyone has their precious time on this planet. I know I'll see Grams again.
Seeing my baby cousins orchestrate everything warmed my heart to no end. My cousins are all 6-14 years younger than me, and I spent a large chunk of my time as a teen watching them. They are truly special to me, and they took amazing care of Grandma at the end. Having such caring family is one of life's great blessings.
As I sit here typing this, I am trying to conjure the strength to whip through a couple of classes today. I am so tired. Like bone tired. There has been no rest for me this year, and there won't be until after I head to Chicago next month to see the boy graduate boot camp.
Yet, even as weary as I am, I think about him. The Navy let him FaceTime in for part of Grandma's service. To see my kiddo sixty pounds slimmer, all serious, yet trying his hardest to stay composed and professional in the face of loss and seeing us all for the first time in two months gives me strength to keep going. You see, my grandma was born with a birth defect, was hospitalized and paralyzed at 11, learned to walk again, and spent her entire life enduring an incredible amount of pain. Yet through it all she was the embodiment of gentle strength. As Grams went, so go I.
I will miss her.
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That moment when the Navy let him FaceTime into the service hit me too, it sounds like the kind of small mercy that keeps you moving. Your Grams teaching everyone gentle strenght after learning to walk again is a map you can carry into those classes, and and into Chicago soon. Bone tired is real, but tiny Mentos level boosts count, even if it's just a breath or a snack. Holding space for your loss and the pride in your kiddo, both can live in the same pocket.
Thank you so much for such a lovely, heart-felt reply. I appreciate the held space and the kind words of understanding. Those sentiments do indeed live in the same pocket😊
Hope you are having the most wonderful week!
!PIZZA
!BBH
🤗🤗🤗🤗 I'm so sorry for your loss: grandparents are special. Take some time to recover
Thank you my dear friend, hugs right back at ya.
!BBH
!PIZZA
Oh my Special K. Do take care of yourself.
Thank you so much Professor B, I'm trying, and I hope all is well with you and the fam😊
!BBH
!PIZZA
All is good on my end :) !BBH
I am sad for you, missing your grandma so much. I am glad your boy got some facetime at the ceremony. I do hope you can find time to take care of you through all this...
Thanks for the kind words my dear friend, I'm hanging in there, and I hope you are doing beyond well too😊
!PIZZA
!BBH
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Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful person, the kind of person I wish I had known. It's great that The Boy was able to FaceTime part of the service. Seeing your photos of the Gorge causes me to look forward even more to my trip there next week. I still love the Columbia River and the tugboats.
There's so much going on in your life right now, and probably a jumble of emotions going on as well. Hang in there!