As my daughter has been home ill this week and she is the best sick kid in the world, I bought her a surprise. Since I am a pretty annoying parent, I generally buy her things that are educational in some way, whether it be development of dexterity and hand-eye coordination, problem solving skills, or like these letter tiles, skills that will help develop other skills.
While I am an annoying parent, the annoyance isn't from my daughter, it is from other parents who think that "kids should play" and they have defined play as something where learning is apparently minimized. For me, it is where learning is maximized so that there are more opportunities for future playing also. not only this, 'I like the compounding of skill development, so that clusters of skills can be used together.
A surprising amount of people believe that, "money doesn't buy happiness" without considering that money is just a tool and it is how it is used that matters. It is much like reading is a valuable skill because it opens us up to information we might not be able to access otherwise, but it is what we read that matters and then, how we use the information obtained to affect our lives.
The tools we have at our disposal give us access to what we are able to build and in the past, I didn't put much emphasis on putting money into my toolbox, even though I wanted to use the tool. While I am not the smartest, I am also not a complete fool, but based on various aspects of my past, I took the approach that as long as I am happy it doesn't matter.
The challenge of course is, "happiness" is not a state that can be held for long and it is going to be influenced by conditions. It is hard to be happy when very ill. It is hard to be happy when very hungry. It is hard to be happy when there is very little opportunity. Many people are impacted by such conditions, but the general approach to them is to seek to avoid the negative, which feels a bit like the pursuit of happiness. But, it is mostly avoidance through activity that makes one forget the poor conditions for a short time. However, the irony is that the more one avoids, the more the negative conditions have space to grow in the background.
I am a procrastinator by genetics I think, and it has led me into many bad situations, where I have avoided handling uncomfortable conditions, only to have the conditions worsen to the point they can't be ignored. It is like suspecting cancer but instead of seeking confirmation or treatment, it is just left to fester to the point that normal life is affected.
I find that a lot of people do this with their financial health too. They know they should pay attention and make adjustments, but the pull of happiness is too strong, even if it is happy for a moment - like wanting to be loved, so paying a prostitute to say she loves you. the investment into becoming the kind of person and building the necessary relationships is too much work, too much investment.
Perhaps it is Veruca Salt syndrome where,
"I want an Oompa Loompa now, Daddy!"
We are impatient and demand happiness now, rather than work to own our own chocolate factory and our own little orange slaves. We want "Daddy" to buy our happiness for us.
Currently, a lot of governments are giving handouts to people and in many places, they are significant enough that low paying jobs are remaining vacant. Rather than work for a little money, people would rather have their time bought cheaply by the government, thinking that they are getting a good deal, when in actual fact they are becoming increasingly reliant on governmental conditions. Most do not see that while they are avoiding some kind of menial task, the cost is their freedom. Rather than build conditions as owners with an owned revenue stream, their happiness will depend on the government handouts and when it is not enough, they will kick and scream and appeal to their leadership to grant them more money, as they can no longer afford the basics for daily happiness.
Free money is never free - there is always a cost, always a catch, always a condition and even though it might not be apparent at first, the cancer grows until it consumes everything. At this point, there may no longer be the resources for change, no longer the ability to pick up the skills and obtain the tools necessary to build happiness.
I get the sense that a lot of people who say "money can't buy happiness", are also those who don't have any money and aren't actually happy themselves. However, they also know that they are not willing to invest themselves enough in order to test their theory, Instead, they provide platitudes and in their next breath, complain about conditions, blaming other people for their state of affairs. They never seem to factor their own role into the equation.
The conflict I always find interesting in many of the complainants is, if they are not willing to invest in themselves, why would anyone else provide for them? This is something that they should ask themselves when someone offers them money for free, because money is a tool used for trade, so what is being traded?
The thing is, when people say something like, "the cancer is out of control now", what they mean is, it is out of their control. From the perspective of the cancer, it is fully in control. At some point, it is too late to treat and the system it controls, is consumed. The handouts might feel like they solve short-term problems, but the cancer is growing.
Happiness can't be bought, it is a state of mind and perhaps it is possible to hold the state indefinitely, but I suspect that conditions matter. What I have discovered in myself that working toward improving conditions brings a far higher quality of life to me than the momentary flashes of "happiness" I get while I avoid negative feelings. I think the people who would consider they had a good life, are not those who had the most moments of happiness, but those who feel that that the way they invested themselves had the most positive change on the conditions of their lives and since we are socially inclined, probably the lives of others too.
This can be seen in various ways, but in the current world we have had, have and will likely have for a long time to come - our ability to affect the world relies heavily on our ability to move money and if we have no money ourselves, we better be very skilled at convincing others on how they should use theirs.
How invested are you?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
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Who pays the piper, calls the tune.
No point having idle dependents though. I'm sure there's a plan to weaponise them somehow.
I think they already are politically weaponized to undermine democracy, while still looking democratic.
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Haha, not where I thought this post was going based on the title and the first couple of paragraphs. I thought you were going to complain about how kids these days don't know how to count change :) Funny educational story... My friend recently had a worker that didn't know how to address an envelope (they don't teach that stuff anymore). My friend went to the store and bought the stuff to teach her own kids because she doesn't them to be "that person" someday.
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I was great at simple math, terrible once it got more complex. I am going to try to make sure Smallsteps is decent, at least at the basics. She can add and subtract simple numbers and is starting to understand multiplication so far - once she can read as well, she will be fine I hope.
People seem to think these basic skills aren't needed because it isn't needed in the class now, but forget that there are more reasons to learn skills than pass a test. A lot of the process of learning these early skills help brain function in many areas, not just the skill domain.
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There are so many things they don't teach anymore. It is sad.
All I know is it was not a middle class working stiff that came up with that saying. It was maybe a real rich person, because he did not like seeing happy people, or wanting competition for his happy fund; or it was a super sad lazy person that wanted to justify his state of being.
Money and the ability to buy toys was the reason I went to work. I wanted better toys than I could get from being on welfare.
When I was 15 or so, I was sitting with a group of friends and someone said "money doesn't buy happiness" and I added, but it buys a much nicer sadness. Depressed and rich is better than depressed and poor.
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Yeah, I think I would rather be rich and depressed than poor and depressed.
Very nice piece! Every moment is ephemeral. I like how i read out of this that in the pursuit of happiness there are many other things that matter more than temporary pleasures. The satisfaction to achieve something by our own might can feel rewarding. When thinking from the mind of a true entrepreneur it's often not the success measured by monetary achievement but rather the innovation that counts. Maybe by idealism in entrepreneurship isn't the picturing a greedy and money minded individual? It's the discoveries and application of new ways that spark joy and a sense in what is being achieved. The ways and means that makes you embark on a never ending pursuit to make the world a better place and are often met with challenges of obstruction from outside of us. I often fight with either the fear of failing which makes me avoid trying, or I get deterred by the ridicule and jealousy of others who are standing by to see me fail. It takes a lot of effort to stick to oneself and the pursuit of one's goals ? To stand firm and strong in the eyes of the storm? I think you beautifully described that we need more generalists with versatile skillsets in this generation and you are trying to expose your daughter to this. I truly admire your ideas pedagogic stimuli.
The satisfaction of building something is a massive force, but most people spend their time as consumers, not creators.
The caricature for most entrepreneurs are likely scrappers, people who do it tough, so that they can keep doing it.
I have the same with this, though I am learning to become "careless" in these areas.
There will always be work for the in-demand specialized skills, but for the average person in the gig-economy, they will likely need to be multi-skilled and willing to be comfortable with uncertainty.
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Thanks for your concise and elaborate reply. It contains wisdom and wit!
I think the problem with someone providing for you is that you become dependent on others. Whether that be a government or an institution.
And slowly, you lose the confidence that you can take care of yourself and your family. So, you blame all of that back on the government and the rich people.
People focus a lot more on whether billionaires are paying taxes or not than to focus on their own life to make more money.
They are more concerned with paying taxes than making more money.
Sure, there are loopholes in the system that rich take advantage of. But even if those loopholes are taken care of, and the rich end up paying more taxes, that might not directly improve the living condition for everyone.
On the contrary, the minimum amount to survive will increase and people might prefer to live on goverment support than to work themselves.
They can't work because it doesn't provide enough and depending on government makes them helpless. It's a tough situation to be in.
I mean whenever I feel like I have money problems, I believe it's my fault. I am not working enough, or taking advantage of opportunities I have. Or seeking new opportunities.
Blaming someone else for my problems won't solve my problems.
Or partner.
Some people put their happiness in other people, expecting that they provide the conditions. "You are my everything"
Yes and while those billionaires are rich - there is more money being managed by governments, including those handouts.
Handouts only go so far, before they are no longer possible to give.
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True.
Children do play. The magic of childhood is that almost everything can be play to them and everything can be educational because they have so much to learn. I "played" with my mom's sewing and crochet tools, loaded shotgun shells for my dad, ran for hours through woods and pastures, and read everything (mom had to hide things from me because I would read bills, personal correspondence, anything with words.) I also had critters to play with (mostly hound dogs) and neighbors and cousins.
Play is poorly visualized by most people - they think it is meant to be useless. Play is about building life skills and even sports used to be based around this - running, hunting, fighting. Life has changed, so what is "sport" changes too, but I think reading is going to be a skill of value for a long time to come.
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Some good points here. As a child I was often sent to my room and the punishment turned into a life saver, as I am very energetic and felt like a caged animal. Today I thank my mom for those punishments, as I discovered reading makes the time fly and the more I read, the more I enjoyed it.
So yes, I was educated as a child.
Governments handing out freebies to their populations translates into dependence, wich in turn translates into votes at election times. A powerful weapon, as threats to take the free money away will ensure that they stay in power. "Free" money also creates loyalty and one of the main downsides is that it encourages laziness.
I read somewhere today that people are digging in a field and finding diamonds in SA. I am not sure if the story is real or not. I wonder what the people were doing before the diamonds were discovered.
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Yes, the story is true and villagers are coming from far and wide to dig for the diamonds. The government took a hand by saying that the crowds will be super spreaders for covid, but the people are not worried.
Most of them are un-employed and you can only think what by finding one, or a few diamonds would mean to them.
That's why I re-read and re-read the richest man in babylon book, so it would sink in my whole system. My goal this time is to develop my knowledge on financial aspect. Financial literacy is important to avoid rat race.
Has it helped you make active changes to your routines?
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Yup
Money make one Happy and on the other hand money can bring you distractions if not properly managed
I suspect that most people don't manage their money well - evidenced by the state of the economy.
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BEER.This was a nice read. I agree wholeheartedly, yes money can and does buy happiness upto a certain extent, but it can not be only money that can always make you happy.
About happiness, i don’t think its possible to sustain high levels of it for longer period of times, let alone indefinitely. A part of it, i believe, is because of the shitty capability of humans to take things for granted. And other is our limitation to perceive everything in relative terms. An indefinite existence of happiness in our lives would mean forgetting the experience of a low feeling and eventually having nothing to compare our happy state with. Making that happy state to be the new normal, the binary, that’s the only state of being there is, its not happy and its not sad.
Best Wishes