A friend of mine bucked the trend and bought some gold a little while ago, seeing a 5% negative return on his investment so far, with the "trend" up 100% in the same timeframe. I asked him if he has any regrets in not buying a little crypto instead, putting a small percentage of his investments in to see what it was all about. He says no, but I did detect a little bit of a somber tone in his voice as he said it. The great unvoiced, "What ifs" of life.
I think that in my life, the "what if" that has affected me the most is, what if I never got sick?
I got ill young, it held me back a year at high school and impacted on my university studies and held me back heavily in my career, both physically and mentally - and it still affects me today. They say "health is wealth" which most take to mean that being healthy is valuable, but not many people seem to think about the value of a healthy mind and body. For me sure, it feels better to be healthy, but where it is most valuable is in the ability to work at something, to perform valuable tasks. What is the point of being healthy if not doing anything?
As this is a counterfactual reflection, there is no way to know for sure what the cost is, but I know for sure that my health has been the single greatest influence on the direction my life has taken, for better and worse. The better is that I am stronger for it, that I have a decent sense of my meaning for life, I am able to work through pain and in general, I think that I am a better person for it. But the costs have been heavy and early on, with no diagnosis and my body crumbling to dust, my thoughts followed suit.
It is hard to get much done from that darkness and it is very easy to feel like a victim in the world. I am not depressive by nature, but I was definitely depressed and it took quite a lot of time to pull myself out of the funk and even longer to learn how not to be pulled back in.
As said, the costs have been severe in many ways, but is impossible for me to quantify. I have always imagined though that if I had been healthy, things would have been different, but it is really hard to say if the decisions I would have made in the alternate reality would have led to a better or worse result. I don't have regrets from the experience, though I do feel stupid for not finding a better path sooner.
I am not bitter, I do not see myself as a victim, I am stronger.
Sometimes I also hypothesize that if I had never been ill, I wouldn't have built up the resilience I have and while it falters often enough to keep me on my toes, it has also underpinned my experience at the most difficult times in my life. I believe that without having a decent level of grit, I would have behaved quite differently toward some of the things I have faced personally and with my family.
They say that necessity is the mother of invention, but it is also the shovel used to dig deep into ourselves in order to withstand what the world throws our way. It doesn't matter how difficult circumstances are, it is how we respond to them that matters and perhaps, what defines us. This isn't to say that we are only a sum of our actions, but our actions represent us in the moment and we can learn from them and build a better reaction in the next movement, if we are paying attention.
This is why the "what if I could go back in time and do differently" is such a big part of cultural thought, as when we reflect, we look at the past knowing what the person we were at that time, didn't know. In some way, it is like knowing the lottery numbers ahead of time and which investments are guaranteed to succeed. But we can never go back, only forward, hoping that we have learned enough that we can make better decisions in the future.
The lottery numbers are always an unknown and subject to a strict probability, but potential successful investments are somewhat predictable, if paying attention. I have missed a lot of opportunities to invest myself in my past, many misses justified through real conditions, many through perceived obstacles - but I am slowly learning.
I said to my friend, why don't you put a few hundred into crypto just to see and his reply was, "what is the point, a few hundred is insignificant to me, even with large percentage gains".
That isn't the point though.
Taking part is the point. Learning is the point. Understanding what has been overlooked is the point. As I said to him, only once you have really investigated it, will you know whether you want to put more in or retract your position, will you have an idea of what can be known. From the outside it is impossible to know and you will always have the "what if" with no potential to answer the question, it will always be completely hypothetical, until you do.
Society has done a great job of putting those who succeed up on pedestals and ridiculing those who fail - without realizing that they are the same kinds of people, who for whatever reason, made a decision. So many people are so scared of the sense of failure, they will not make a decision until forced, making the decision not theirs at all - no ownership. When we are moved by forces we do not understand, we can feel like victims, but looking back knowing more than we did, we will probably recognize there were better courses of action available, we just weren't ready to see them.
But, what if we had been?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
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On the now extremely rare occasions I feel like picking a fight (I'm lazy and have better things to do than prove to other people that I'm right and they're wrong ;D) I like to ridicule people that ridicule other people for failing.
:D
!ENGAGE 25
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ENGAGEtokens.Sounds to me like a classic case of "The Sunk Cost Fallacy" in action.
Yeah! I guess a bit of this TSCF virus is what is affecting to your friend right now. :)
There are plenty of sunk cost fallacies going on, where people keep investing into something that is dead. Also, there are plenty of people selling out of something that is just getting started :)
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Yep, I reckon that this common TSCF syndrome easily may work bidirectional.
Sunk costs. I always thought they were influencing my life. Yet, this is the first time I see that it is a researched topic and has a name. Thank you for sharing.
The only way to learn is to get in. And your investment losses are the cost of learning. The problem is that learning nowadays is getting very expensive. Buying gold only to realize that you can't do much with it, is expensive. Buying bitcoin only to realize that you can't do much with it is also expensive. But it took me those two purchases to actually learn that money is useless. Whether gold, bitcoin, euros, they are all useless until you trade them for something you value.
Thus the first thing is to think not on what to invest, but rather what do you want? Until then is color paper, a number on a database, and a shinny metal. And they all come with imaginary gains and losses measured on another arbitrary scale controlled by the government.
Many are so scared of paying a cost, they never learn anything. It is part of the "it should all be free" mentality. We are starting to see the true cost of the free internet now through Facebook and Google.
It is not the size that counts, it is what you do with it that matters.
At some point, the scale I hope will become activity for real improvement.
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The main idea of money is as a unit of account for human potential. In the sense, if I give you money you might be able to do something great. It is of course and rightfully so used the other way. I want something, would giving you money motivate you to do it for me. I'm fine with both, in the end something gets done.
A deeper question is then: How much human potential is out there? Should we increase money supply with growing population? With educated population? With increased supply of goods and services? When robots do all the work?
Exactly, any size is ok, because you must do. Any time you hold money, no matter the size you stall. Money is just the accounting of what you owe to the community and what the community owes you. You get money because you did something for someone, and then you must give money back to get something done for yourself.
But when? Develoment(time) plays a role, if what you did improves your community. Then your money should become more valuable at the time when you give it back. Some say that is unfair, because money should be stable. I was like that, now I think differently. Money is accounting of favors. Like with a friend, you start asking and doing small favors(services). As you do your friendship and trust grows, you keep exchanging favors all the time they just grow in impact every time. Conversely, if you are dishonest in your acting, you'll trade favors less and less until they are worthless.
I have learned to appreciate bitcoin for bootstrapping this accounting. It had a fair launch, it was worthless and has absorbed value into it. I think we need to move nevertheless out of it, environmental reasons most importantly. But we must move away most prominently is the attitude of buy and hold. That pollutes the bitcoin money itself, it needs to really be earn it and pay with it. So that it actually accounts the trade of human action.
I think about what if's sometimes, but I always come to the conclusion that if I could go back and change something, then I would not be who I am today. I like who I am, I like myself, and I kind of like the situation I am in.
Every time I think about it, I always end up following the rabbit hole of life and end up seeing myself in a worse situation than I am in now. I don't know if it is me and my view point, but every time a look back make a change, play the change out to the end, I end up being in a place where I don't like myself.
I still though like to look back and try to see a better future for myself, you never know one day I might come upon the choice I should have made. For now though it seems like the choices were okay ones.
Sometimes I wonder if this is part of the issue, that we get attached to who we are. Not saying this in your case, but some get attached to what they think they are today and get depressed when they change - like happens to everyone with age.
It is good to review what we have done and recognize there might be better ways, accepting that we didn't know them at the time.
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I often wonder how many people would go back and change something they at the time and still do feel was a good choice/decision. I also wonder how many people when they think about life review/regrets only contemplate on what they think they did wrong and not what they did right.
The wrong hurts twice as much as the right feels pleasant - it is easier to remember :)
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I can pick @smallstep's feet anywhere! Cute little thing.
Tiny little blueberry toes :D
Did you like the picture?
Will take a better quality shot in the evening and get it to you to print. I didn't know Momone had sent it already
She did...Said that when she asked @smallsteps why I'm wearing a dress in her picture she said, Uncle Galen is that kind of person who can wear whatever he likes!
She cracks me up.
Yeah send a better picture and I'll print it for my office wall. A shrine to smallsteps.
When we got in the car she said,
"You and Mummy are funny"
Why?
"Because you always lose your things and can't find them"
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You should be like her...Hide your stuff all over the place...You'll never lose it then! :)
The what if can consume a lot of valuable energy with no positive outcome. I think that the adversities built you up as you are today. A different past would have led to a different Taraz. Maybe not the writer, maybe something else. We all think about the past, especially those who had it rough. Fighting with trauma and accepting difficult experiences as part of yourself is not easy. Overcoming them and not being a victim is the best way to go. I know that a lot of people have their past as their excuse. It's not good. Just like with your friend and crypto. A sour experience can't be allowed to define the entire mindset.
I think it all comes down to disciplining your own mind. Accepting that some things were out of our control, like health, place of birth, parents, wealth etc. We all work with what we've got. Some make gold out of themselves, some dust. The power is within all the time.
!ENGAGE 20
For sure. The reflection of the what ifs only informs as far as opening up the potential of what could be tomorrow. This is a discipline and some people get stuck in the reflection and lost sight of what is in front of their face.
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The trees vs the forest. It takes time to learn when to switch focus from one perspective to another
I agree. that is why I will also join ,,I cut my hair myself'' club.
for some reason at first I read hypnotize. Maybe I should watch less of Mentalist.
It is good to know that you got where you are now despite your illness.
I liked the Mentalist. it was a fun show.
I actually did my hair on Sunday night - I have been cutting it myself for about 15 or 16 years :D
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I think Mentalist has a bit of Columbo charm. And I consider Columbo to be the best tv show of all time.
Not only are they the same kinds of people, They Are The Same People. With just their success highlighted and many failures which did not break their resolve in the background. Behind the curtains, actually. I found this out through participating in any photo competition that I could find meaningful (not ridiculous conditions) about ten years ago. I won about 10 % of them. Later, when conditions became more and more ridiculous, I took prt in less and less. Say, 3 competitions per year which meant... 0.3 wins per year. Rounded down to Zero, usually. And now it's the 0.0 Zero as I didn't made any effort in that direction during 2020.
Always focusing some energy into something else, though. I feel I just shifted onto another plane.
I have some very smart and talented friends who want to have perfect records, though, so they are moving at 5% each one of their ideas for products being realized...per year. Or so it seems to me. Just my opinion. And I was not completely fair in that estimate. It simply makes the story more...convenient.
Do you ever get the urge to enter the competitions these days?
What kinds of conditions were getting set?
I feel that people have forgotten how to "dedicate" themselves to something, even something they love. Perhaps life has too many distractions - most of them useless in my opinion.
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What I'm looking for is professional jury judging the entries; organizers using the materials sent only as far as to promote the competition and its sequels themselves, not their entire brand anytime, anywhere, etc.; no entry fee. As of late, it has become the trend to ask the participants to fund the reward pool themselves instead of looking for sponsors. It's been like that most of the time in recent years for artists, as well. Because there are many who would pay to see their thing in an exhibition? Perhaps...
And very few if any national level photo competitions still exist. It's mostly online promotion thing where your friends'votes decide if you should get that product of the organizers or what...
I think there is a bundle of things here, but rent-seeking behavior by the organizers is one of them. I am hoping that patronage returns.
"I'm a published author, I paid for the publishing myself"
How many copies did you sell though?
It is quite pathetic - an exercise in vote begging.
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Yup, I can say I'm happily avoiding that last part for almost a decade, i.e. since first when I experienced a competition with such conditions. It has nothing to do with the subject matter.
By the way, the serious patronage that still remains in the field comes from...The Middle East. The Emirates and Turkey.
The national press photo challenge kind of disappeared which is sad for the whole local (perhaps more than local) field. Equipment manufacturing brands still issue some yearlies...I think. Can't dedicate time to that now. Or won't.
the things that happen to us in life mark us for either better or for worse, we can never know, if this or that other thing had not happened to us, if our life would be different, I think we have to live the life that we have created to live Ultimately, the life we live is created by us
You are very right dear friend @tarazkp, the unsuccessful and the successful are the same types of human beings, the difference lies in the decisions they made.
play the cards dealt.
Life is what life is, but it is good to reflect on potential of alternate decisions because going forward, there re always more decisions to make. Best learn from the past where we can and perhaps, make slightly better choices in the future :)
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ENGAGEtokens.