It's been a while since I used @galenkp's Weekend-Engagement topics for a post, but I'm in the mood to shout some opinions into the ether tonight. Let's have a look at his third question, since Valentine's Day is this weekend.
Guys...do you prefer women to wear a lot of makeup or only a little? Which do you find more attractive and why?
I say little, or none. Something about heavy makeup, even when tastefully and skillfully applied, strikes me as dishonest. What are you trying to hide behind layers of cosmetics? Why are you literally showing the world a false face?
Here on the internet, we have handles and avatars for anonymity if we wish, and present ourselves however we want, but in person, I don't want to see you behind a mask. It was obviously off-putting for a lot of people during COVID, but the metaphor applies.
Part of it may also be my experience with people who place appearances above genuine character, and place vanity as their highest ideal. Fake hair color, fake boob implants, and excessive makeup can all signal either a sort of insecurity or a need for attention, and either one is a turn-off for me. I know this is a sweeping generalization, and shouldn't be taken as a blanket condemnation. but I also think the youngsters would say it "gives the ick" in combination or in excess.
You do you, ladies, but if you're looking for a long-term relationship with a good man this Valentine's Day, signal something genuine. The men who want superficial appearances most tend to want superficial relationships, too. Casual confidence is more attractive to me than a woman dressed to the nines, anyway, and I know a lot of other men think like this, too. Ditch the makeup, or keep it minimal.
Feel free to debate and disagree in the comments. My opinions aren't universal truths on this topic.
But I'm still right.
So there!
I agreee with that. Ellie and I had many conversations about that. About the need of women to have their body just a little more perfect. Which is not the need of the women, but the need of men in the society, smartly imposing their own "preferences" on the "objects" they like to own, making women believe that they want it, making young men believe that they want their women like that, so it's all a free decision, right?
We like to play dress up for parties, and yes, I arrange myself, too, like she puts on some make up (a lot less than when I met her). I trim my beard, y comb my hair so it looks a certain way, I do play the masquerade, on a different level though. I tell myself it's out of fun, but is it?
Oh my. I wanted to write about children and screen time. But this is getting more interesting.
Anyway, as always, there are nuances to it. Very few people I met, including myself, are authentic in everything they do. That takes a lot of practice. I put on masks for business, for casual meetings on the street, for fights with Lily's mother. I don't with friends & family, not anymore. I did that in my marriage, and that was partially the reason it broke.
I do think masks are necessary. But not in close relationships.
After growing up with two younger sisters, working in a variety of jobs, and seeing what happens on social media, I think it's more women policing other women than it is men dictating beauty/fashion standards.
There is a place for accommodating oneself to different situations, but whether it means actually masking yourself or just changing emphasis is a personal matter IMHO.
That is true, especially here it's a lot of pressure coming from the women. Gotta be "beautiful" to find a "good" man. There is still that distorted wish of having something better for the children, and that is seen as materialistically better. So girls are encouraged to objectify themselves, be pretty and silent. There is still a lot of paradox in the process, at least here in Ecuador.
There used to be time I would put on makeup as a routine in the mornings. I was a lot younger then. Now, I put on makeup when I go places or meet people for whatever gatherings. Everyday it just takes too much time so when I am at home or even do my chores I do not wear it.
I never viewed me wearing makeup as wearing a mask. I get that some people have gone smart with makeup and are capable of creating even a whole new face. I have seen videos like it.
For me, it has always been about bringing out what already is there. My skin has pink undertones on my face only and it is uneven coloring so that is usually what I correct by applying foundation that evens the tone to the one that is dominating. I also have naturally blonde hair so my eyebrows and lashes are barely visible if I do not color them. Sure, sometimes I will apply some fun eyeshadow shade or the lip tint and give myself a cat-eye line. Those for me can be a fun expression too, and, pardon me, I never believed that I could appear superficial with just what I was wearing or not wearing because my character seeps out whether I want it or not.
If my looks or my makeup has been off putting to someone, that's their loss :P
I also was brought up by a person who placed a lot of emphases on looking good, and even to this day when they see me without makeup they tell me to put it on. I do not consider myself ugly without it. Neither do people in my life. At the same time, I think people should be able to do what they want. How someone looks, is just one aspect of a person. While I tend to "decorate" myself, it does not make me superficial or that I am looking for superficial things in my partner or that they looked only for those superficial things in me. I know it is not true.
I also think that a lot of men actually can't tell when a women these days wear makeup or not. There are things like "natural-looking makeup" or "barely any makeup" too.
My library co-workers tended to be fairly subdued with their makeup. It doesn't hurt that they were generally all already attractive. However, I remember one woman at another branch who was, shall we say, enthusiastic in her application of cosmetics, and even as a non-makeup-user, I could tell her foundation was a shade or two off.
There's an old joke where an farmer asks his pastor about whether his wife wearing makeup was a sin, and the pastor hemmed and hawed a bit before saying, "You know your neighbor old Mr. Thompson? You see how his barn is cracked and peeling from age? Well, if the barn needs painting, paint it!
Most of the people I know that wear makeup are enhancing rather than masking their looks (so it's usually lightly applied). I'm less sure about the people who like to use a LOT (outside of a theatre production or similar) but there is a a bit of talent involved in being able to apparently change the shape of your face using basically some version of paint and applicators.
I like colouring my hair XP My ahime hair is somewhere between expressive and borderline sentient so may as well go whole hog. Only thing that's stopping me right now is money.
And J and I have had one hell of a superficial relationship ;D (23 years so far, married for 21) He also prefers no makeup (I haven't worn any since I stopped doing theatre which was pretty much the only time I ever wore any at all, combination of allergy, tactile issues and sheer laziness) and finds my penchant for outlandish and very obviously fake hair colour amusing.
As much as I think I understand where you're coming from, this feels sligthly ironic XD
The whole thing was meant somewhat tongue-in-cheek, and I know several people with bright dyed hair without being vain.
I also know people who respond to personal problems with makeovers, hair dye, and tattoos instead of addressing the problem.
Makeovers, hair dye and tattoos are infinitely easier than actually resolving problems x_x
Update: @jacobtothe, I paid out 3.511 HIVE and 0.000 HBD to reward 8 comments in this discussion thread.
Congratulations @jacobtothe! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next target is to reach 25500 replies.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPAlas, they're mostly spam from a disturbed individual with nothing better to do.
Yep, dealing with spam can be frustrating 😅