Have you ever surprised yourself in life?
Not with trivialities (though I doubt that surprising oneself is a triviality itself), but with what one considers a milestone?
What is it that we sometimes do when we are faced with decisions and are caught between feeling discouraged and needing to take action? What feeling do we follow?
In my childhood I heard the stories of Till Eulenspiegel, a braggart and scoundrel par excellence. In one of his adventures, he claims to have pulled himself out of a swamp with his own hair. How I laughed, because of course every child knows that this is impossible. But something more important resonates.
That can be found in every exaggeration, as long as one does not feel offended by it. Instead of railing at the nonsense that Eulenspiegel spouted, the message is nevertheless clear. Do the impossible in a situation that seems hopeless. Some people would say "Fight for yourself!" to this, but that's not what I want to express, as it connotes too much of a struggle. Rather the opposite of fighting. More of the ability to create a smiling moment out of a gloomy one. To trick oneself (instead of others).
I just came out of a situation in a job I had started only three months before.
It was one of the most unpleasant work environments I had ever experienced. A nest of vipers full of fearful people who were backstabbing, not helping, and in great competition with each other.
The fish that stank from the head
was the founder of this school where I started in the secretariat. He turned out to be a true despot and ruler.
People were afraid of him, which meant that they hated and feared him, while they tried to please and do everything right for him, immediately!
Unfortunately, I have to admit that this fear was passed on to me and my self-esteem gradually disappeared, while my colleague, who was supposed to familiarize me with the job, tried to pass on to me the despotism that she herself so detested and yet did not have the presence of mind to recognize. I felt sorry for her, as I disliked her at the same time.
One of the colleagues was standing in the office
when the boss, as usual in a boss attitude, came in and asked if the morning email with his latest instructions had arrived.
I replied "Yes, I have read it, but have more urgent tasks to do at the moment."
The colleague looked at me as if I had taken leave of my senses and hurriedly said, "No problem, G, it will be taken care of right away!" However, he neither reprimanded me nor otherwise bossed me in this situation, it was apparently sufficient that a servant was immediately on hand to assure him of "immediate asap completion". Perhaps he thought that this was how I would learn to behave? But perhaps I was able to retain a small corner of dignity. Who knows.
There was a constant stress and tension that after only a few months I decided I didn't want to have to endure anymore. No matter what I would have done or said, it became clear that no one would stand against the head of the company and I would have worn myself out trying to change something for the better. You have to know when to take action and when it's better to leave it alone. I decided to leave and then I did.
Without having a new workplace,
I ended up at the city employment office and after some time I received a request to visit a job fair. Adhering to the requirement, but in complete inner disrespect to the possibilities and prospects of success I assessed, I went there, more or less grumbling. I don't like to be told what to do.
I walked through the rows of presenting companies with less than an idea of what work I would like to do in the future. Only one booth immediately caught my attention. Here I developed - in an instant - a concrete interest, and with that came thoughts of what I could professionalize, what could build on my previous life and work experience.
Although it was a completely different industry than the one I had worked in so far. Participation in this training program, however, required a basic education in this particular field. Which I did not have. The lady at the booth then also told me that "an admission to the school program was not possible and she was very sorry."
My joyful spontaneous enthusiasm immediately evaporated and a heavy disappointment took hold of me.
It was devastating.
With this disappointment in my stomach, I headed for the exit. Just before I went through, however, I stopped. I don't know why I stopped, I don't know where the sudden, even violent, thought of going in another direction came from, to reconsider. I looked at the door and thought something like, "If I go through there now with this terribly hopeless mood, how far will that get me? How will I get home? What awaits me there?"
She was somewhat surprised to see me in front of her again.
In fact, she let me lead her on and gave me the name of the person in charge at the office with whom I could make an appointment.
To cut a long story short, despite the lack of background, I was finally assured of a place in the programme and all I would then "only" have to do is have my employment agent at the authority to take over the funding.
Now, talking to him. He didn't give me any hope at all - "even my own wife can't get a job in these economic circumstances and you want to get a foothold in this field as an unmapped person?" - and more or less declared the venture a failure. But I said: "Please stand up for me.", and stubbornly stuck to optimism. That is where sales comes into place.
Three weeks later I received a phone call from him, in which he told me rather good-humouredly: "Shall I sweeten your weekend?" It was Friday, of course. By then I heard the bells ringing and knew it was done.
This tendency not to let things get you down and not to drag out a seemingly difficult situation, but not to question decisions once made, has helped me many times in my life.
Woodcut. Illustration from "Till Eulenspiegel" from 1515.
I tend to be spontaneous.
It is this spontaneity that I perceive as a great enrichment, as something that stands out in a way from the planned. It's true, it could have been anything at that job fair, the main thing was that it ignited a spark of interest. My goodness, the industry could have been a different one, but what was important to me was that I could already mentally place my previous professional experience and technical skills there.
The whole thing was roughly ten years ago.
I worked in this new profession as a freelance consultant for about the same time. It satisfied me to a great deal. I learned a lot and I built up slowly but surely my customer base. Which in itself contains another spontaneity in "how to generate customers?" by not accepting a "no" and turn it into a "yes".
Sometimes it's good to be naive in this way. Not knowing everything about chances and estimates gives you the freshness to go for a goal you might otherwise dismiss.
Things have changed in the meantime. But that is another story.
Thank you, The Ink Well, for providing the prompt. Here you can go to the contestant rules.
Picture sources:
Title picture:
By D. Dekker - This media file is from the collections of the Koninklijke Bibliotheek, part of which is available on Wikimedia Commons., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=58140458
Following in order:
By Hans Baldung Grien (?) - rdk.zikg.net, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=6807091
Von Autor/-in unbekannt - UB Gießen, Gemeinfrei, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=8842978
Von Hermann Bote - Till Eulenspiegel, Gemeinfrei, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1557522
What an amazing story of overcoming self-doubt and striving forward regardless. I am so glad that you checked your attitude at the door so to speak and decided that this was not how this experience was going to end for you. When that self-belief shines through, it's incredible what effect it can have on other people... and how you can turn the impossible into an opportunity. And an opportunity that gave you a decade of learning and growth in an area that spoke to you... that's incredible! I admire you so much. I love that you have so much depth and are so willing to deep dive into areas of your life and of life in general. It's inspirational. I hope your shared stories help others to realise that they can step outside of their comfort zones. That if they truly want to do something, they don't have to accept that the doors are closed... there is always a way... !LUV !ALIVE !hivebits
Thank you, I am glad that you see it as what it was meant to be: an encouraging story that really happened and that should serve as an inspiration. I love it when people tell stories about their lives, and it's always those events that were difficult, where you had to clear some rocks out of the way first, or where it was downright hopeless or even dangerous situations that you came out of alive. When they happen, it's crap, but when they're behind you, the crap turns into gold. HaHa! I call them "reality bites".
If there were only sugar and easy events, we would be without the contrast. No one would have anything of significance to tell. People do like to moan about bad times, but if they didn't experience and go through the bad times, they would never get into the fairway of the good moments in life. In between all this is the banal everyday life, which is probably the biggest challenge of all because nothing else interesting happens in it.
I see these two extremes as a field of tension in which every individual moves. However, it would be good to expand this by something that is not within the tension, but completely outside of "dramatic up to the ears" and "boring to death". But because this is of little interest and the recipient prefers to stay within the tension, we have these conflicts on both a personal and an overarching level and the apocalypse is already beckoning around every corner, even though for others it is the paradise that awaits them. I think both are unrealistic. LOL
Yes, true. I would add that to open doors, it's like shooting at the goal with a ball. You have to shoot ten times to score three times. Just as an example. If you don't shoot at all, there is nothing to hit. But if you keep shooting with gritted teeth because you're angry or afraid, even twenty shots won't help because you won't hit it once. So each shot is like the famous blank page, always to be considered separately as a completely new situation, without taking into account what has gone before. Loosely from the hip, we call this.
It's difficult when you want it too much and only becomes easy when you get into a mental state where you want it but also don't want it. HaHa! If you know what I mean?
@erh.germany, @samsmith1971(7/10) sent you LUV.
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Thank you, I am glad that you see it as what it was meant to be: an encouraging story that really happened and that should serve as an inspiration. I love it when people tell stories about their lives, and it's always those events that were difficult, where you had to clear some rocks out of the way first, or where it was downright hopeless or even dangerous situations that you came out of alive. When they happen, it's crap, but when they're behind you, the crap turns into gold. HaHa! I call them "reality bites".
If there were only sugar and easy events, we would be without the contrast. No one would have anything of significance to tell. People do like to moan about bad times, but if they didn't experience and go through the bad times, they would never get into the fairway of the good moments in life. In between all this is the banal everyday life, which is probably the biggest challenge of all because nothing else interesting happens in it.
I see these two extremes as a field of tension in which every individual moves. However, it would be good to expand this by something that is not within the tension, but completely outside of "dramatic up to the ears" and "boring to death". But because this is of little interest and the recipient prefers to stay within the tension, we have these conflicts on both a personal and an overarching level and the apocalypse is already beckoning around every corner, even though for others it is the paradise that awaits them. I think both are unrealistic. LOL
Yes, true. I would add that to open doors, it's like shooting at the goal with a ball. You have to shoot ten times to score three times. Just as an example. If you don't shoot at all, there is nothing to hit. But if you keep shooting with gritted teeth because you're angry or afraid, even twenty shots won't help because you won't hit it once. So each shot is like the famous blank page, always to be considered separately as a completely new situation, without taking into account what has gone before. Loosely from the hip, we call this.
It's difficult when you want it too much and only becomes easy when you get into a mental state where you want it but also don't want it. HaHa! If you know what I mean?
Thank you, I am glad that you see it as what it was meant to be, an encouraging story. I love it when people tell stories from their lives, and it's those events that were difficult, where you had to clear some rocks out of the way first, or where it was downright hopeless or even dangerous situations that you came out of alive. When they happen, it's crap, but when they're behind you, the crap turns into gold. HaHa!
If there were only sugar and easy events, we would be without the contrast. No one would have anything of significance to tell. People do like to moan about bad times, but if they didn't experience and go through the bad times, they would never get into the fairway of the good moments in life. In between all this is the banal everyday life, which is probably the biggest challenge of all because nothing else interesting happens in it.
I see these two extremes as a field of tension in which every individual moves. However, it would be good to expand this by something that is not within the tension, but completely outside of "dramatic up to the ears" and "boring to death". But because this is of little interest and the recipient prefers to stay within the tension, we have these conflicts on both a personal and an overarching level and the apocalypse is already beckoning around every corner, even though for others it is the paradise that awaits them. I think both are unrealistic. LOL
Yes. I would add that to open doors, it's like shooting at the goal with a ball. You have to shoot ten times to score three times. If you don't shoot at all, there is nothing to hit. But if you keep shooting with gritted teeth because you're angry or afraid, even twenty shots won't help because you won't hit it once. So each shot is like the famous blank page, always to be considered separately as a completely new situation, without taking into account what has gone before. Loosely from the hip, we call this.
It's difficult when you want it too much and only becomes easy when you get into a mental state where you want it but also don't want it. HaHa! If you know what I mean?
Oh yes, for sure... it's like we always say... it is far easier to look for another job when you already have one! There is a lack of stress and pressure that allows the the space and freedom to be more selective, more relaxed in our decision-making. The same applies when an outcome is not critical to our lives and we both want it and don't want it. When we are more blase or have feelings of ambivalence, we are not so concerned with the fear of rejection or mistake, because in the end it does not matter and does not impact one's life in any drastic manner. We are free to choose again and differently, at any time. !LUV !ALIVE !PIZZA
Thank you, I am glad that you see it as what it was meant to be, an encouraging story. I love it when people tell stories from their lives, and it's those events that were difficult, where you had to clear some rocks out of the way first, or where it was downright hopeless or even dangerous situations that you came out of alive. When they happen, it's crap, but when they're behind you, the crap turns into gold. HaHa!
If there were only sugar and easy events, we would be without the contrast. No one would have anything of significance to tell. People do like to moan about bad times, but if they didn't experience and go through the bad times, they would never get into the fairway of the good moments in life. In between all this is the banal everyday life, which is probably the biggest challenge of all because nothing else interesting happens in it.
I see these two extremes as a field of tension in which every individual moves. However, it would be good to expand this by something that is not within the tension, but completely outside of "dramatic up to the ears" and "boring to death". But because this is of little interest and the recipient prefers to stay within the tension, we have these conflicts on both a personal and an overarching level and the apocalypse is already beckoning around every corner, even though for others it is the paradise that awaits them. I think both are unrealistic. LOL
Yes. I would add that to open doors, it's like shooting at the goal with a ball. You have to shoot ten times to score three times. If you don't shoot at all, there is nothing to hit. But if you keep shooting with gritted teeth because you're angry or afraid, even twenty shots won't help because you won't hit it once. So each shot is like the famous blank page, always to be considered separately as a completely new situation, without taking into account what has gone before. Loosely from the hip, we call this.
It's difficult when you want it too much and only becomes easy when you get into a mental state where you want it but also don't want it. HaHa! If you know what I mean?
I understand too well that kind of toxic workplace, and it amazes me how much power a big boss can wield. Sometimes people become institutionalised and it's hard to leave even if they want - I understand that as I lived it, but when I finally got the courage to walk away, I've never looked back. It sounds like you don't suffer much from self doubht, and if you do, you don't let it rule you.
Not really, I think ;) From what I sense, you too are able to see that this power is given mostly and that the taking is a result of people constantly placing it to such a personality.
Fortunately, I was not in such a work environment again, either before or after. I had only ever heard of such things, but never experienced them myself.
Self-doubt is well known to me and I have it frequently, but as you say, I don't want to let it define my existence.
I found fear to be more difficult to endure than the boss himself, who has been given too much power. I personally thought the anticipatory obedience was the worst experience. I was quite shocked by the colleague's pandering to the boss without even being curious about how he would react to my setting priorities. People like that need boundaries from others and when they don't get them, they keep stretching their attitudes.
The last truly impressive scene I received was at the students' graduation ceremony, where the boss dressed down the students' accomplishments in a self-righteous and disrespectful manner in front of the assembled audience. This impertinence deserved to have the audience leave the hall. Moreover, it is a remarkable indictment of the head of the school that he exhibited himself on stage, isn't it? LOL Anyway, I got up and left.
I'm not even of the opinion that he was a thoroughly bad person, but basically constantly looking for boundaries. I put a huge part of responsibility on those who let themselves be intimidated by him and not only did nothing, but also passed on his despotism.
Altogether, it seems, that there is an overall confirmation in wanting to be ruled in this kind of way. And from there it's easy to hate the boss, having him always ready as the culprit for ones own miserable emotions.
Thank you for coming here and reading my story.
How did you manage to get yourself relieved from that work place?
You describe the despot with expert precision, how he intimidated and undermined the entire workforce as well as the very vibe in the air. The auspicious moment when you packed him in (because that’s what you did) and left, is radiant. Haha, way to go.
However, the root of joy in your story is the way you managed to overcome that “obstacle” in your path that threatened to derail your life. Going back and “pushing” the issue changed your life and it’s a wonderful moment to consider. You pulled yourself out by your hair, how marvellous! 💕🤗❤️🤗😘❤️🤗🤗😘
Yes, for these moments are mostly rare and therefore precious, I think. They are the contrast to banal everyday life:)
;-)
The Eulenspiegel attitude - LOL
Dear @erh.germany!
I congratulate you on successfully adjusting to your new job!
As an East Asian male, I find it difficult to understand your nuances and German style English as a German woman, but I enjoyed reading your article!😃
Thank you!
Thank you.
That "new job" is now past. I did it for the last ten years. If you need any explanations about the content, let me know.
Dear @erh.germany!
I don't know what questions to ask you right now!😅
Thank you for kind answer!
Thank you for this creative essay. You have tagged it as fiction, but it does not seem to be. No matter. We are now accepting creative nonfiction, and this is surely that. Your writing is clear and engaging. In the future, we suggest that you tag the nonfiction pieces as creativenonfiction, and the fiction pieces (short stories) as fiction. This tagging helps curators to sort the stories.
Actually this essay would have been a perfect match for our earlier creative nonfiction prompt, overcoming obstacles. We publish short story prompts on Mondays, and creative nonfiction prompts on Saturdays. Additionally, we publish a monthly prompt. However, we welcome stories/essays that are not written specifically to a prompt.
We appreciate that you engage with other authors in the community and look forward to reading more fiction and nonfiction pieces from you.
Thank you, I actually got all confused. I took quite a long break from blogging here. I was aware of my mistake only later and it's not possible to delete the first tag, is it? I got inspired by @itsostylish 's post and thought to do "two in one go", as you can see, I also tagged it with nonfiction. HaHa.
Well, it's done and I am happy that you welcome stories/essays that are not written specifically to a prompt.
What an incredibly inspiring post! So relatable and also so beautifully intertwined with stories I've never heard. Thank you for sharing!
My thanks to you, I am happy to have delivered something unexpected and new to you. That is what I always am hoping for and I am glad that you let me know. Appreciate it.
your post in itself was an embodiment of the title! Thank you for your wonderful gift to us all!
My thanks to you, I am happy to have delivered something unexpected and new to you. That is what I always am hoping for and I am glad that you let me know. Appreciate it.
My thanks to you, I am happy to have delivered something unexpected and new to you. That is what I always am hoping for and I am glad that you let me know. Appreciate it.
My thanks to you, I am happy to have delivered something unexpected and new to you. That is what I always am hoping for and I am glad that you let me know. Appreciate it.
My thanks to you, I am happy to have delivered something unexpected and new to you. That is what I always am hoping for and I am glad that you let me know. Appreciate it.
Those kind of toxic people hold on to their toxicity because people around them allow them to be. Working in such places is a nightmare to anyone trying to challenge the status quo especially when majority are massaging the ego of such boss. It's good you left to avoid your self worth being reduced to zero.
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